Fights

In this I'm not talking about a verbal fight, you know calling names and shouting at each other, I'm talking about a physical blows flying fight. So, as I've said before, I'm a short fuse and keeping my head is terrorsome for me. If I didn't give a fuck I'd have been expelled from school months ago for fighting and breaking something on a kid. And then people are telling me I can't take this kid at school, let's call him McDonalds. I CAN. I can take the blows he gives me for doing some petty crap that he overacts to. He said that he was pulling blows, you can't manage that when you're mad. And also, I'm pretty sure that if you were pulling blows you wouldn't slam someone's head into a wall. So now, I'm going to provoke him to hit me with some petty shit and drop him. And I'll be calm to. For example, today he was choking me for stealing some crap. I was standing there laughing then I go, "I can still breath well", and punch him in the gut. People are gonna say I'm just being cocky, but I know I can beat the shit out of the kid and give him what he more than rightly deserves. I lift weights not just for fun, because it really benefits me. And I can really take a hit.

Parties

"I just wanna party." That is practically how I feel, although the song by Yelawolf sucks. Personally I've only been to a couple, and only one that was thrown by someone at my school. There was a second one, but apparently I was too much of a pervert to go. But boy were her parties beast. Now I want to throw one, and I could manage it, but I don't know if it would be any good. Like yeah, we could go to the pool, but that's practically all. What to do when you don't have a giant backyard, I don't know. I was planning to have a fire also, but then realized I might not be able to make a big enough fire for 20 people. And I was told, as long as there's food, people will come. But the thing is that my dad will make me pay for all the food. I only got 40$. I'd be totally dependent on the dollar store. But I can do the douchey thing and say, oh it will be very appreciated if you could bring stuff such as food to the party to make it better.

Tacos, Yeah Nothing To Write About

I totally love tacos. Not only are they easy to make at home, but Taco Bell is one of the cheaper, nice fast food restaurants. I do prefer to use turkey though because although there's less taste, there's also less grease. That makes it way easier to cook because you don't need to drain grease, risking dumping your beef you worked hard to cook into the sink. Like today, I made 5 pounds, I almost dumped half of it into the sink. I do love to eat it with all the fixings, shredded cheese, lettuce, sour cream, beans, and so much more. Today I'm planning on trying to replicate the soft taco with potatoes they have at Taco Bell, just watch me fail. I personally love spicy food also, and respect Hispanic culture, along with other cultures. I add in a can of jalapenos to almost everything, taco meat being the easiest. Nachos are actually my personal favorite of Hispanic food though. Then it goes burritos, tacos, chorizo, chicken. My favorite sides go, Pico De Gallo, rice, chips and salsa, fried plantains, and yukka. The rice is just so good, but Taco Bell's is crappy. It's more grease than seasoning.

Poem, Artsy and Bad

This Girl

She has my heart in a knot

I feel the pain as if I'm shot

Through my chest out the end

To her my love I will send

She confuses me with her kind words

Which use to be just like swords

Filled with hate and dislike

Stabbing me and I'm quite

Scared of how I feel for her

Like no one else for her I burn

So yea, I managed to make another poem. This is over my confusion over the way she now treats me. And I am scared, out of my mind, because I've never felt this way before. And now I'm just worried that she's being nice out of pity. But I really need to get over her, I just feel obsessed.

Losing Shit

I have probably the worst luck with managing to keep all of my stuff where it is. For example, today I found out I lost my pool card, something I've only had for 2 days. The worst part is I'm having friends over tomorrow and we're probably going to the pool. When I lose stuff I always do find it though, just not when I'm looking. And I'll look through my pockets 10 times and not find shit. Look everywhere on the ground, nothing. Once I actually lost a brand new camera while at a friend's house and it probably fell out of my pocket while crossing the street, my dad thought my friend who has a 500$ HD camcorder and the camera I lost was 100$. I just hate losing my shit.

Rapping

My rapping skills are starting to suck. I can't improve my speed, I can only go fast. Like I can spit shit super fast but that's when it's off the top of my head which I haven't done in a while, or if I memorized it. Like free styling is beast and I'm pretty good at it. But I'm only good when I'm not happy, when I'm not in a bad mood, when I have a whole bunch of shit on my mind. Negative emotions = fuel for free styling. Like I tried ciphering, but that failed. I need it to come to me as I say it and leave my mind at the exact same time. I wish I had one of those memories which works like a tape recorder and I can just replay stuff in my head, I have somewhat of it but it's very weak. My photographic memory is what's good, but sadly that doesn't help with rapping. I literally need to be pissed off about something to be rapping. Smashing people comes naturally, but throwing it into a rap is different. I need to be able to get into the mood after a good start, makes it so that when I spin something off my tongue it takes less than a second to think up something that has a good flow and rhyme. Lately, I pause for like 5 seconds then begin again which means, my free styling skill is down the drain right now. Well, when you gain something, something else is lost also.

Reaction Distraction

So pretty much I got a reaction from the girl that I like that I somewhat expected, but expected something worse. In short, I scared her, I expected her to be afraid to approach me, but she's even talking to me like any other person. And I know that I told my friend that I wouldn't write about it here but it keeps distracting me. I'm honestly totally confused, even though I expect that what happened is that she decided just to act nice. But now rather than thinking at night about how I fucked up with her, I keep thinking just about her and how she'll treat me normally now. She is just confusing me. I don't know what to make of it, at all. What made her change, cause the day after she responded to the message she treated me like she normally did. But every day form there on( P.S. it's only been like 2 day ) she's treated me like a normal, respectable person. Worst of all, I can only hope that she decided to genuinely act nice and forget about the shit that my friends have said, not that she's playing nice because she thinks I'm some emotionally fragile shell.