Adam's Song

So this song is really dear to my heart and one that I highly sympathize with. The level of empathy I feel radiating from "Adam's Song" by Blink 182 is beyond me honestly. It was written by Mark Hoppus talking about how depressed he was feeling while on tour from being lonely. Now while I've never gone on tour, especially with Tom Delonge and Travis Barker. I'd imagine from the videos their tourbus is normally a pigsty everywhere except where they sleep. On a darker note, it's also been said that it was inspired also by a suicide note they recieved from a kid before he committed the dastardly act. Such a dark and morbid song, it's a surprise it came from Blink 182. But it ended up with more meaning when they stopped playing it at concerts after a DJ with the first name Adam committed suicide. For those wondering the reason they titled it "Adam's Song" is because Adam was the first man and there before Eve. The song is centered around the feeling of loneliness and God only made Eve because Adam was feeling lonely. This song led to more controversy though when a survivor of Columbine hung himself to it on repeat. I'd have to say this song has gone through some pretty rough shit.

I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known?
I trace the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone

The first line requires no explanation so I'll just start with the second. Ever heard the saying the saddest person smiles the brightest, etc etc? Well that's what he's referring to in "I laughed the loudest who'd have known?" He's saying he's been really sad so when he does find something funny, he's going to end up laughing his ass off. I honestly do that, even though "Misery loves company" a saying that horribly rings true, you're still going to be willing to cheer up. For those that don't understand though, "Misery loves company" means that when you're sad you tend to do things that lead to you being sadder rather than happier. After some short extensive research I read to find that the next two lines either refer to the cord being life and he's saying he thought about it and it never really mattered, or talking about Tom's guitar amp almost electrocuting him but it wasn't plugged in. I prefer to go with the former though, sounds more fitting to the song. Originally I thought it was saying that he thought about it and realized that everything seemed so much more dramatic than it actually was. Otherwise known as he created his own melodrama. The reason he uses the term "cord" is because it's like you're playing a song on the guitar and it sounds loud as fuck and then you find out you're amp wasn't plugged in and it was all you. It semi-fits with what I agreed with after reading online. Again, can't stress how much I feel this song when I hear it and it's had it's moments where it almost brought me to tears. Over the past year I've had too many first world problems in my head and overly exaggerated feelings of loneliness,self-pity, and hate. Now the next two lines allude to a song by Nirvana "Come As You Are." The way I see it is he's saying that he took his time when it came to feeling depressed and let it build up, then when he realizes how lonely he is it hit's him fast. He could've stopped it by actually thinking it out but instead just went with what he already was thinking. Last part is obvious, he's saying he's going to commit suicide and his loved ones are going to know that they could've stopped it by maybe noticing or saying something but were to caught up with their own lives to notice. Something along those lines. Honestly though, the only thing keeping me tied to this fucked up plane of existence is because I know that if I were to decide to leave Blue might blame herself. She might think it's cause of feelings about her that I lost worth in my own life. I don't want her to, so I can't. If I'm ever to commit suicide, it's going to be because I'm the last of my friends alive and I don't have any kids or grandkids to be concerned about me.

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

The refrain I find really hard to interpret because it alludes to his highschool years, where I've only had one and not even a full one yet so excuse my broad explanations. Ok he's saying he didn't grow up a chick magnet and barely ever had anyone to call his girlfriend. His times in Highschool though were his glory days where he didn't have to worry about anything. He couldn't wait til' the summer came either, where there'd be even less stress. The world just seemed so big but now he knows that it's a lot more general than he thought. The second half of that line I'd have to guess is saying it's too late for him to try to change the world, or try to change his outlook on it. Now remember, this song was written while on tour where he felt lonely cause Travis Barker had a woman, him being a notorious chick magnet it's no surprise, and I believe Tom had someone he'd been with for 3 years. So at the end of the tour think of the relief he felt to finally be home. The last two lines can embody the saying "Misery Loves Company" even though it doesn't sound like it. He's saying he's off and he doesn't want others to know. What that really does is cause you to feel worse. He's also probably talking about jacking off also. He's reminiscing about being a highschool but without any chicks to go to, so of course he's going to be talking about that. For the parts that I do understand, I would have to say I'm already feeling that. Except I know how fucked up the world is. Also, not to be cocky, but slowly I've gotten better looking. Last year I was a fatass slob that honestly disgusts me. I lost a shit ton of weight over the summer and got bulky. I've learned to manage my hair too and dress well. I'm on my way to get bait.

I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never step foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault

Obviously he really wants to emphasize how lonely he feels by repeating the first line. The following just repeats it again, he's saying he didn't make a big enough impact for anyone to care enough to remember him after awhile and he'll just slowly fade into a forgotten memory. But he wants to be remembered, so he wants his stuff to go to his friends. They'll have a sentimental value to him. I have kept everything that's not food that I've received from Blue. Which is a Kandi bracelet, brand new, and a stuffed cupcake. But, again not to be cocky, I know I'll be remembered. Apparently I have a habit for melodrama but I never wallowed that much in self-pity. But also, even though he doubts he'll be remembered, he plans to hang himself in his room. They're not going to want to go in there because that'll be their biggest memory of him, atleast what he thinks. Now if I were to commit suicide I'd do what my friend Twerky said she'd do and do it somewhere away from home so as not to leave the memories for my family. Now most songs are kind of like a short story where each line fits with the previous but this song isn't totally linear to me. We see again a random item, but it's a memory. Probably from him as a little kid pissing his pants. I know I know, it says Apple Juice, but trust me, that stuff looks like piss when they're both in a bottle. This part is said to have been revealed to be of personal memory though. Now that I think about it, when I explain songs I don't go totally linear either. Now we know he's not talking to his parents. I think he's talking to "Josie" a recurring character in songs who's his dream girl but is also nonexistent  In this part, I'd expect if I committed suicide at my age I'd be doing it in my room where my brother would find me. Obviously I'd leave a suicide note though, I'd want people to feel less bad about me dying and not blame themselves. But because it's his dream girl he's talking to, she's going to have a good relationship with his parents too who would tell them and console them. Me doing what he's talking about though, I can't lie, it would partly be my mom's fault. It's just my family, this world, and my feelings of longing for Blue. Three players with all their minions tearing at my mind.

I never conquered, rarely came
But tomorrow holds such better days
Days when I can still feel alive
When I can't wait to get outside
The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is over, I've survived
I can't wait till I get home
To pass the time in my room alone

A rewrite of the hook but set in future tense. This is probably one of the few things that keep me going. HOPE. YES HOPE. I'm known to be as optimistic as I am cynical. It's because I know how real the world is and know the negatives of man, but I still know how to put a bright turn on things. I've learned that I know how to make things look good just as much as I can make them look bad. This is him reviewing why he should and shouldn't commit suicide. He's saying maybe things will chang efor the better and he'll feel like life is worth it again. THE WORLD IS WIDE. In a literal sense there's more to explore. And as he explores the world times just going to pass by like nothing. It's past the tour now and he lived through it. It's in his past. He just wants to go home and jack off now.

I believe this was the suicide note by the kid that helped to inspire the song. Not definite though.