Only The Best For You

So I managed to get to talk to Blue. Yes I'm calling her Blue again, because I'm not some baby that's going to keep whining about something, I can get over myself. Me deciding not to call her by that was probably more induced by butt hurt than by not being shown that side for awhile. So back to the core subject of this rant. I asked her if she could give things a chance, she said she'd see how things play out because she doesn't hate me, she just didn't want me to be more dependent on her than a baby needs his mom's teeters in the first year. There's also that for like two months straight she had to endure the worst of me, which is dark and contorted and annoying. Me moaning to her almost everyday about how much I felt for her and fucked up, I doubt anyone could really last more than a few weeks with that. So I innately decided in my vast sub-conscious that I'd only try to talk to her when I'm genuinely happy. She and I even had a conversation, a short, broken up one. It was just awkward because of all the shit that's happened. Things were more awkward between me and her than when I spent the day hanging around with this one girl that I'd always fight with, then crush on, then fight with, etc etc. And that saying, you don't deserve someone at their best when you didn't stay by them at their worst, or however it goes, doesn't totally apply here. I think that applies when someone is occasionally in a shitty ass mood, not everyday he's despairing and moaning. If I hadn't strained things so much already, I can't help but think she'd have stayed though. I'll just have to go back to hoping she's in the same class as me this year, that should fix things. Make things better, being in a class together can bring us closer pretty easily if I manage to talk.