I find myself gradually growing more scared of how these next few months are going to occur. With the way my romantic history has played out, I'm not pursuant of people as much as I used to be. However, as of the last few months, I've been head over heels for three girls in particular. Already informed two of them and the third one I have a why bother attitude because her dad's the overbearing type. She's not even the subject of my attention most of the time though. It's a pretty amazing circumstance in my opinion. One girl I see everyday because she's in all of my college level classes. The other two are alternating because of the way my school's schedule is set up, then again I believe most highschools have alternating schedules. The girl I see everyday, she's why I'm worried about myself. There are some major differences but overall I keep comparing her to Blue. She inexplicably reminds me of Blue in a way that has been appearing detrimental to my own mind state. A lot of the time I even question my standing relationship with her. We're lab partners, as well as pseudo friends. In fact, she's one of the few friends I've made that don't go to the same school as me. But there have been times that I feel she's annoyed with me often but prefers not to show it. On a daily basis I avoid the constant need to talk to her online because of how whiny and needy I can be, and the few times I do one on one I normally blab my ass off. In person I'm normally nervous as fuck because she's the one "target" I have where I don't have a pre-existing standing with one of her friends, so I end up making stupid comments and laughing retardedly. As for signs of her constantly being annoyed with me but not wanting to show it, take this weekend for example. We went to science fair, won our category by the way, and I started talking about how I was about to pass out and the way she responded struck me as, shut up and stop whining. Of course, I was exhausted despite my caffeine levels, and I have a low self-esteem around her in the first place. I honestly don't know what to think. She's a sweet girl. SWEET AS FUCK. Whatever happens though the summer's going to be a bitch because I doubt she and I will interact at all, except maybe the occasional comment on each other's posts. Fuck the internet though. I think she has a boyfriend or something synonymous to it right now anyways. Nothing worse than being jealous of someone you've never even met.

I understand Gambino's infatuation with Asian girls now.