It's Not Mine To Tell

So I was listening to a youtube mix as I have been a lot recently and a song came up that I remembered from my earlier years (5 years ago). It was "Dirty Little Secret" by All American Rejects and I remembered the video. The video is split between the band playing and people holding up postcards with secrets on them. I've been intrigued by it because some of the secrets sound retarded like one where the guy is saying that he likes how his poop smells and I thought most of them were bullshit. Turns out they came from a web blog called "PostSecret" which anonymously puts up postcards from people telling their darkest secrets. Well, I have some dark secrets. Really dark secrets, ones I don't like to share. There's others that I would like to think are secrets but all that is missing is me admitting to them. The biggest one is well, I love my bestfriend, but she sees me more as a brother. All my friends know it and I don't care to deny it but sometimes I have trouble admitting it. It puts strain on my ability to talk to her, and she knows it too. Sometimes all I want to say is "I love you" to her, but I can't. I used to do that but then screwed up with her, which led to all those incessant meanings and raps about suicide. She got fed up with my constant expressing feelings for her and calling her lines like "Boodagel Blue". It was right also because I would have hated to have the same treatment from someone I didn't like back. I occasionally end a conversation with "Bye" "Love you Blue" but it's not the most common thing. Back to secrets though, I have so many I wish I was let in on. All that it does is make my ego evolve and I start thinking they're something to do with me. Mostly because the ones I want to know are kept by Blue. I doubt they do involve me though. But she literally goes, "Huehuehuehue I have a secret". Never. Going. To. Be. Shared. With. Me. Though. The fact that I know how to keep my mouth shut means it either is really private, concerns me, or she just wants to taunt me. She knows I have to know a secret, I JUST GOTS TO. Well All American Rejects are kind of in my past but I do still like their music. I kinda feel a connection with some of their songs but that's obvious with how teens feel problems. All they're doing is expressing them in song. I should send some of my secrets into Post Secret though. I really should. I also kind of want to volunteer for a hotline. The one where you go there to tell random strangers your secret. One that someone would call because they're contemplating suicide. I'd be able to do good if I were to. With all the problems I've been faced with, I want to help and can. There is one secret that I will share though. When I get sent a picture from a girl I like, especially the ones I feel deeply for, I always keep it when they're in it. Even if it's not their face. Just a little bit, even a foot, I hold onto it. Is that wrong?

PostSecret