RIP

Pineal flexing ,I'm ripped in the mind
Rip before my time, rip was daddy's sign
Rap is the game I'm playing for now
Pour me another fore the lights go out
For today was a good day
I kicked back, lit one up, good blaze
Got a cap on my head and a new craze
If you really think I'm fronting, you bluffing
You can't be serious, I'm something to your nothing
I got substance, and some words for you
When you think that you big but can't fit your shoes
You just, gotta grow, gotta get old
Gotta leave behind the anger that you too well know
It might blow, but hard work pays off
I work my day job for my money, didn't cough
Didn't stutter, no mutter, I got fired, another
Bout to find me a new one that's better than the offer
I've been offered, deals with the devil
Sealing my soul to live better, to revel
I had to take a few, wasn't hard to choose
Living at home beats jail house blues
I wouldn't fit in, they got animals in there
Not a field trip but something to fear
Living in a cage will just build on my rage
Leave a change man, not a man, but a beast
Pardon me, Pretty please, I can't become this
I gotta find my future not die in the abyss
About to apply for ivy league scholarships
But my GPA's dead I gotta test to get in

Godly, empowered, betrayers are devoured
Judas, Brutus, Cassius, Call em political activists
Call em deceivers but their sins aren't unique
A lust for power, that dirty greed
It's what defines man, as I've defined me
Only loyal to me, and my family
Brothers, sisters, lords of most high
Come down from the heavens to dance tonight
To revel in life, for that's why I live
I'm not here to do what you bid
These words are now spoken and will travel great length
To reach those worth wasting the breath in good taste
I'm no ordinary man, but then again who is
I seek to eek out my own existence
All it needs is substance, my meaning's my own
But these idols and lench mobs condemn what I condone
Condescend, but father they don't know what they do
Although in your name it's not focused on you
Let history speak, the crusades, the middle east
It is money and land not peace that they seek
I absolve myself of the crimes I commit
Can't continue on this journey if I hold regret
Mistakes have been made, can't deny but admit
Only can learn, grow in wisdom and wit

I dream of Valhalla, of Nirvana,of balance
I got biblical but who doesn't at this
In the end I'm just a kid with dreams, dreams, more dreams
Of a perfect world, eyes open, not what it seems
It's a goal unrealistic, gotta say fuck reality
To accept it is hard, life's such a tragedy
To grow up thinking the sun will always shine
To go to bed at night with a bright light in your eyes
Then smacked with the hard truth, a truth seemingly unreal
That we all live in a world that can't feel
When societies dominated by data and graphs
Where numbers do matter, not heart and contact
The indigo tribe will rise to combat
With words not fist, with wisdom not tact
But a perfect world never could be
Without imperfections what would be me
Mistakes make the man, and I've been sculpting for years
Let go of regret as I shed my tears
If I'm to become what I'm destined to be
I need to make a change in society
But change is a hard flap of the wings
If a butterfly caused hurricanes you need a turbine at least
I need a bottle and a light to sleep well at night now
Can't partake of either if I don't want to go to jail

Need a job at ups to work on my delivery
Never made no cash cause I'm tryna get my liberty
Liberate the mind cause the body's just a cage
Liberation time, but I'm underpaid
Underwear? No it's outerwear
I don't even fucking care
Leave me be to be a me
Not another clone of society
Just a kid to relax, redose, relapse, repose
Resuscitate and masturbate
Cop a zip roll it in a grape
Feeling great, good time to unwind
Talk about my feelings, all in good time
The biggest imprisonment's the illusion of freedom
So what the fuck is America found on then
Big Business, Big Bitches, Big houses full of windows
More rooms than there's people, more inches than a kid grows
I ain't looking for that life
Give me a cabin in the woods, a fancy skinning knife
A good book to read and a warm place to sleep
Don't need a mansion when I've got me

Fuck this day it's the same as before
I woke up, died, tomorrow reborn
Relaxed about the day cause there's no problems yet
This shit just started, so no regrets
Gonna do what I gotta do, get what I want
Never behind even though I don't front
Got this game to run like monopoly
Gonna reintegrate my mind at ease
Never had a problem that I couldn't solve
Never had shit that I considered a loss
I may be linked in with my pleather couch
But I'm not an aesthetic, not what I'm about
About to be collegebound, coming round
It's that time of year where you gotta buckle down
But Imma unbuckle my seatbelt, get out of the ride
Go to the shoulder to vomit through my eyes
I don't need that shit, no stress no worries
No seeds, no stems, no mids, not blurry
Imma run this shit when I hit 25
Can't do that from a car, I can't even drive
Got my permit pulled, no stickshift for me
I'm all automatic on this shit, you'll see

I got one in the chamber
Two to the head
Third eye blind
And a quarter in the sack

I been puffing on the green since a young un
If you feel what I'm saying better burn one
Burn three, one for each eye
Kick back now and enlighten your mind
Rewind, back to a better day
When kids got siced over mickey ds
When phones weren't life, good food every night
No veggies please, Fuck broccoli
Now it's work work work and no play
It's gotta go to college no way
More busy try a get paid
Success is my own, so I'm rapping today

I got one in the chamber
Two to the head
 Third eye blind
And a quarter in the sack
That's one in the chamber
Two to the head
Third eye blind
And quarter in the sack

I'm not a feeestyler, barely even a rapper
I'm a writer, accused child molester
But I'm better, than the title or the name
I'm busy playing the game , but you knew this
Nobody knows what the truth is
I spit lies, I spit rhythm and the blues
I spit money into your pocket, you
I ain't a part of the business, Fuck the company
Not tryna be famous fuck celebrities
Just tryna get made, need to get paid
I ain't playing no motherfucking game
Personal success, that's the key
And I lost my key ring when I was down at the beach
Now I gotta find it, where do I go
When I might go to jail for, for who knows
How long, is the system gonna take me
I've been prepared but not ready for society

I got one in the chamber
Two to the head
Third eye blind
And a quarter in the sack
That's one in the chamber
Two to the head
Third eye blind
And a quarter in the sack

I ain't here to do what I'm s'posed to
Not a role model, fuck that, I do
Just tryna live my life like I want to
Tryna live the life I was born to
Tryna be the king that I always thought I was
When I was a kid, as every kid does
I ain't here to do wrong, not a criminal yet
Lived my life fine no need to repent
I've been called liar, sinner, shit
I've been loyal, a leader, yes
I've been, I've been here
Loving the moment with nostalgic tears
Not about to lose 10 years to stress
I'm under duress to live for someone else
But it's my life, my choice, my body, my voice
My thoughts that direct where I'm going to be tomorrow
Not yours, I only lead not follow

I'm sitting in a room busy staring at the wall
No words to my lips no worries at all
I can't say I'm sorry but I'm busy with the wrong
I got things on my mind, nothing to this song
Nothing on my thoughts that should matter here
Cept I can't kick back and crack a beer
Can't puff on the smoke like I used to
You know I was hazy back then
Never had a sober day past ten, give me a week
Now I'm sober 2 months, pass the tree
I ain't nothing special, I ain't nothing good
I'm just loving life, the only way I should
You say drugs are bad, why waste your mind?
I say that you're sad, you're only wasting time
You don't know where to speak from but the shit that you're fed
Gorging on the meals payed by government bread
I'm an independent thinker, artist, mind, body, sold
I ain't looking for the deal that you offered me
Just tryna eek out an existence
I'm looking for the truth that's been buried deep
But you broke my shovel and then threw it at me
Can't break my spirit, that shit's fucking gold
Imma be searching til I'm ninety years old
Excuse the bloody handshake, I had nothing else to use
Imma sit here, accusing you
Of ignorance, you're bliss exists
I'm not gonna hear what you're saying
When it's regurgitated from the lips of the man
I'm a king in my court, you're a pawn in his plan

Smoke a blunt feeling lazy
Bout to be a little hazy
Wake up feeling more than wasted
The red pill's worse than the syntax
I'm sitting here, tryna be a real rapper
Tryna tell my shit but keep it good like it matters
I be talking slang, gibber, fuck grammar
Everyday that passes I get happier and sadder
Realizing what they think of me, It's hard to swallow but better
I'm chokin on my words as my face is getting redder
Gotta bust out my highlighter now, better get to work
The last year of my life is coming soon for what it's worth
When I wave bye to my friends what will I be
A god a demon a boy a man or is it in between
Don't know what I'm doing just sitting here
Reliving my memories as I shed a tear
Year eighteen is coming in a couple of months
Bout to be an adult but I still live with my mom
Bout to say fuck the vote, when I should run
Enlisted in the draft but fuck the gun
These supposed to be the best years of my life
But I feel like they passing away way too fast
T.V. always said two wrongs don't make a right
So why waste my time on a second chance

Apologies

Yo man I'm sorry, I ain't got a bag for you
Yo man I'm sorry, I can't play with you

Dear flower of any other name
I'm terribly sorry to say what I say
To feel what I feel, to see what I see
To only see you being with me
To remember the times that didn't  exist
It's tortuous , temptuous, tumultuous, taught
I wish for the past to be present again
I feel like I'm dead but I haven't began
To see a new light, to feel the sun's rays
I run to hello but there's price to pay
Left to wait, day and night on repeat
For that magical magical magical ping
Yet I fucked it up, oh sadly it's true
All because all I could think of was you