Asexual Maybe?

So I've done some thinking lately, and had a conversation with a friend from work on the way home, and I'm pretty sure I'm close to asexual. I only say close because I still get turned on. OH YES DO I GET TURNED ON. But the problem is, everything turns me on. I thought about it for awhile and realized, despite the fact I think about sex all the time I don't think I'd ever go on to have it. No matter what relationship I have with the person, even if it's a highly deep spiritual one, I don't think I'd ever indulge in the supposed best part of a relationship. I have a thing for atleast one girl in each of my classes, I've ended up having a thing for almost any girl I know. It's not out of desperation though. I found I naturally fall in love with people in general, I guess you can say I'm living deliberately. I'm enjoying the best part of the human experience, love, to it's fullest extent. I still would love a girlfriend. A sapiosexual preferably, but if she's aesthetic I doubt I'd really care. All relationships of any kind whether it be friend or foe or romantic have the same root, attraction. The reason I included foe in that is because intimidation is commonly considered attractive to people. But, the way a relationship grows is by building on that attraction and learning about that person. The most attractive thing I find in someone aesthetically? Well first off, I tend to not be attracted to white girls. But, I have to fall for a cute chick. The most attractive thing I can ever find in a girl though, is when I look at her I end up thinking of an animal. Specifically mammals, and I realize this shit makes me sound like some freaky kemonomimi, but it's more of a spiritual thing. To make it even less general, canines and felines. Oh god yes. Girls that make me think of foxes, wolfs, and cats. A black chick that makes me think of cats, fuck yes. The reason I say it's a spiritual thing is because those animals are commonly associated with worship in ancient times. Native Americans had wolves, Japanese had foxes, Egyptians had cats. I could probably find even more animals associated with spiritualism but I'm trying to have the post before midnight so I can knockout before I forget about it. I could fantasize for days about all the kinky and erotic things I'd share with a girl, but I'm confident that if I got into a relationship with one I'd never try to get into it with her, whether she wants to or not. My biggest worry in a relationship is the fact I don't know what I'd do exactly. Ever since my dad died I've been a lot more of a shut-in and been less social. I went sober a month and a half ago and after that I found I talk even less with people I'm unfamiliar with. Even then, I used to constantly be talking to people when I'm at home, and whether it be that no one uses facebook anymore and I don't have a lot of numbers on my phone, or that I can't hold a conversation for shit anymore, I'm scared more than ever to get into a relationship. I even asked one of my chick friends to set me up on a blind date with someone, but I doubt she even remembers I asked her to. I know I'd enjoy spending time with them no matter what. But the problem is would they? With the state I'm in from constant caffeine withdrawal, which I'll get into on another post, I honestly think about just falling asleep with a girl while cuddling with her and having a drifting off conversation. However, there is this one girl that's in the same program I'm in. She's from another school, the black girl I was talking about that looks like a cat, she's in one class with me and might end up getting into a different one next semester. In that class we went outside and she was all excited about it too, doing stuff that annoyed the teacher, first time she talked to me though. I already was like, OMG YOU'RE HOT AS FUCK, prior to talking to her, but in the slight conversations I have become infatuated. Then again, I'm easily infatuated, as this post is about. The other thing I've noticed is I think I've picked out a couple of girls and they turned out to be directioners. Really weird, and I'll end on that note.