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It's times like this that I start to question my faith in the universe. I've been good, rolled with all the blows I've been given, done what I can to spread positive vibes, and whatever I've gotten I've deserved. To me, we're all instruments of destiny and fate, and whether there's a god or not they too are only instruments, forces of nature and servants. Following graduation day things were still amazing. Graduation day was an amazing day, I felt like I was on molly and I ain't even touch that shit for a minute. Didn't get the bitch fight I expected with a counselor that was being a little pushy, talked up a girl on Tinder that was honestly a pot of gold to me, I'm talking a girl that I can say anything fucked up to and isn't a sheep. Other things on that list are I directed someone to where she could find a job, the same place I found a job, it made her day. I got props on my hair because having long hair puts you in a private club of dudes with long hair. Just a beautiful day. The next day I hear back from the staffing group I'm filed with and turns out I got a job that I make 120 at a day before taxes. Then, that's when it went downhill. Towards the end of talking to the girl I started acting more retarded as a result that I was also going on fumes, I hit the 24 mark about 2 before I stopped talking to her. The following days from Monday I tried to relight the conversation with her, and also apologize to her for my behavior. Of course, because I'm me and I actually really liked this girl off the bat, I overcorrected myself into shit. I'm hoping it's something stupid like her parents made her cut me off, but I doubt it. And then the job? Oh the job. I went into work, did a full shift, didn't take anymore breaks than what was offered, and felt fine on a muscular and skeletal level the next day. But, I also got sick the next day, pretty sure I got poisoning from the ink they used there because the whole next day I'm tasting and smelling it constantly. So of course I call in sick, which made me lose the job too. It's understandable, both situations are understandable. I did it to myself with the girl, and I could've toughed it out with the job too, but I didn't so again I did it to myself. While there'll always be other girls, and other jobs, you don't find a pot of gold everyday, every week, every month, every year, or probably even every decade. Maybe I'm just not ready for a girl, I still got damage from the stupid shit that's happened to me in the past four. I come off as a fucking psycho, part of why I have to act like a predator and look for women on Tinder, the worst place to find intelligent life if you ask me. I can't really pick a girl up in public, because I can tell you if I get her number I'll probably pester her til I'm blocked. As for the job? While it was easy work it was also long hours, hours I could've handled but seeing as I got poisoning ( again I think ) there I'd have been working myself into the hospital for when all of a sudden I collapse at work one day. The ONE TIME I could've helped my neighbor, who does so much for me, I can't though, that's what makes me mad. That was part of why I was so happy to get a job, because I could finally help him. But my path diverges like I'm Robert Frost, and I always take the one less traveled, not so much by choice. My true talent, the reason I know I'm lucky as fuck, the reason I know I'm blessed, is I always come in clutch, and I can create change like a bee makes honey. But, a bullet can hit it's target but still only make a dent.