THOUGH SHALT NOT COME

So my pun on a Lord of the Rings quote is because I'm not going to post a part two. I would, but I honestly don't care that much anymore about what I was saying. I can always elaborate on it more when I have nothing to write. I found that when bored I reread my blog often. But now I have something to talk about. Facebook pages. I had quite the interesting conversation with Blue today about a picture I shared being from a cancerous page. She considered that because it had 350K likes it was cancerous. Honestly it depends on perspective like everything does because to me the only cancerous thing about it is that its at the point where you can't stop it from growing. It was the 4chan page, no connection to the real website. All I can say is that I shared the picture because I related to it. What I consider a cancerous page is based off of the content it posts. I consider the pages dedicated to swagfaggery as cancerous. It promotes a good self image but it also spouts idiotic shit. Stuff like smile you're beautiful. No, NO YOU ARE NOT. YOU HAVE A NAME AND YOU ARE A FUCKING HUMAN. Humans are not beautiful. Now there's always those that will beg to differ because they have separate opinions but to me they are not. Everyone will have a dark side. That is why they're ugly. Just human nature is ugly. Even if you are outwardly attractive there's going to be one part of you that will disgust other people. Even if you have plastic surgery to fix it there's still a visibly ugly part. It disgusts me. The only thing to disgust me worse is the stuff where it says, "Who needs this when you have SWAG?" Besides the fact there's nothing to define swag having it wouldn't be an excuse to be stupid, or ugly. The common definition of swag is that you're well dressed. That doesn't mean shit. You can find that a lot of the badly dressed people in life are also the more successful ones. Whether it's just because they preferred to be comfortable and made it easier to succeed or because they preferred to save money rather than spend it on stuff because it's expensive or just because they didn't care. Bill gates fucking wears hoodies and sweat pants. The pages I preferred are the ones that I always connected with or found entertaining. Death the Kid makes me laugh my ass off with the scenarios he writes along with the content he posts. Pages like Itachi Uchiha and Kakarot I like because I easily connect with them. The pictures I normally share are ones from Itachi Uchiha where they use the anime but put a quote on it. Things like "Pain Makes You Stronger" or "Once in a while, There comes a person, That can change your life" or my personal favorite "The Loneliest People Are The Kindest, The Saddest People Smile The Brightest, The Most Damaged People Are The Wisest, All Because They Do Not Wish To See Anyone Else Suffer The Way They Do" because that is me. Not to be an egotistical ass but I've been lonely, I'm lonely on the inside. I've only let 2 people in, TWO PEOPLE. Now I've fucked up with one of them and I don't think I'm going to be able to fix it. I was always alone, and never tried to get people to be in. But once I let them in they have my extreme loyalty. There's no question about it, I am loyal to them. They still may piss me off, only one the other one's only pissed me off once, but I never falter with the fact that I love them like they're family. Saddest is self-explanatory, I'm probably one of the saddest people you'll find just with how enthroned I normally am in my depression and how I don't wish to dwell on it. Yet when I walk around I prefer to smile, it creates a good air about you. My smile is telling others to be happy. Just because I'm not doesn't mean other people shouldn't too. I would honestly give up my own happiness if it meant that someone dear to me was happy. And the last part. Oh the last part. I AM DAMAGED. At the age of fucking 15 I have gone through a lot of shit and my minds already matured a lot by now. I know when it is that I'm in love. It's not just what I've described here but it's innate. I can't stop but feel for the person. When happy they're on my mind. When sad they're on my mind. When fapping they creep on my mind. At night I see them in my arms. When I say love I mean romanticly, not friends. I love quite a few of my friends. But my romantic love is fueled by a strong passion that pains me too. I feel that talking to them taunts me. It gives me a sight of the happiness I seek and yet I know it won't be mine with that person. And then my feelings end up getting redirected and I can't stand it. I can't stand to hurt those around me that did me no wrong. Yet now I feel like asking a girl out and my final decision will be tomorrow. The only thing stopping me is because I don't know why I want to ask her out. I've known her since the beginning of the school year. But recently, especially just the past week, my depressions been thrown deeply down because of how much I fucked up with Blue. All I've managed to do now is serve as an annoyance. I try to joke with her but I can't anymore. I ended up asking her out 5 times in the same week. I asked her out 5 times because I was deeply sad from something that happened with my brother. It amplified the longing I felt for her but also the sadness made me feel like she was the only way out. In my life there's only two girls I've found that give me true happiness. I wasn't going to beg Blue for it though, when she said no the first time I should have given up but I just KEPT GOING. The other girl was no option. She's the same girl that caused me to feel depressed last year. She hates me, or so it seems at points. And when she talks to me it's bi-polary. One time it's nice and delicate but the next time she's like WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT YOU FUCKING WHORE. But oh well, at this point I've probably managed to bore you with my babbling so I'll stop now. Enjoy the anime memes as a reward for braving this post. Also there's the meme that started the conversation with Blue.