My Fucking Depression, I'm Happy Right Now

So recently I've been feeling highly depressed and total hate-my-life like. Especially since happy things are happening around me. Three of my friends recently got into relationships, my brother's shit ended well, and so much more. I'm still happy, in fact I've been improving but people still keep acting like douchebags with just piss me off. For example there's this one fatass that acts all strong and when someone suggested to just fight it out now he's like, "No I don't feel like killing someone" of cause really he's just pussying out. He is the last person I'd expect to be able to walk, except maybe like 1 or 2 other people. And he gets mad at me for picking on him when he calls me a faggot, going back to an earlier post, I see it as an insult but don't get why it's used so much as one. And no he's not my friend, I don't pick on friends. But also, again in an earlier article, the love of my life (to young to be saying this shit) hates me, MAJOR PART OF MY DEPRESSION. But I'm improving, I've always had a high self-esteem even though I'm not some arrogant ass and never let my friends get me down. What we do is rip on each other, it's just the douchebags that aren't my friends that I don't like to take shit from. For example another one of my friends (phoneinformer) needs to keep his house clean, if he didn't need to and especially if he didn't have carpets I would have dropped that fucker, not phoneinformer, and let his blood pool around him. Well now I feel bored so I'm just going to list symptoms of depression I suffer from.

• Small loss of self-esteem
• Loss of need to preserve myself
• Loss of importance in life
• Disassociation with others
• Thoughts of suicide
• Etc.