Let's Write a Book

Eyes blazed red not just from the rage
He's still stuck trying to write the next page
But the last chapter's so long and drawn out
It's become everything that the story's about
The readers keep interest but what of the author
His mind is in it but his heart's for another
He hates where he is and wants to get out
But every time he leaves it's on a roundabout
As he rounds the next turn his mind's still a blur
Distorted and twisted by the thoughts of her
The thoughts that he never seems to escape
Even in sleep he feels wide awake
The feelings that seem to haunt everyday
The urges that seem to never go away
Because all he knows is his own pain
He reciprocates actions almost the same
Suffers in silence with his thoughts feeling faint
Can't lift his madness but makes it rain
The author lives everyday deranged
Never to find an ease to his pain

I kinda like these verses I wrote, express a feeling I have. As stated earlier, I got reminded by the most unexpected person well you should be able to guess who it was. Literally just a casual hey which I responded to with a question mark. She even gave me advice on being an Admin, including a message to relay to another one on the page. But I knew whatever I got was temporary, when school starts back up I'm going to continue to avoid her, not look at her, not talk towards her. Not just because I doubt she wants any attention from me, but even though talking to her was like a nice breeze to the face on a hot day, it's more comparable to a heroin needle. I'd enjoy it for then but the pain from not being able to continue enjoying it will be unbearable, is unbearable. I started to feel duller, less wandering thoughts about her, less strikes in the back of my mind everytime anyone talked about her in a conversation I was part of. But her talking to me made me lose that progress. I doubt it'll last long though. I'll be back to how I was before she decided to grace me within a week or two. But hey, even though I hate those feelings it's nice to know they're still there.