A Goodbye

Lately I've had to make decisions that I didn't want to. Besides paying for a lawyer with someone else's money, I asked Blue to block me. It was wrong of me to ever say she's bad for me, however I react to her, it's not her fault or intention. I did it slightly out of guilt as well. The only time I ever try to talk to her is when I'm lonely or want advice, not because I'm interested in anything to do with her. Well, I am, but that's not the intention when I hit her up. It's not fair to her, whether she has something better to do or not. Fuck, I keep calling g him her. He's a homosexual boy in a girl's body. Can be confusing, I know. I also asked her to block me because I felt myself returning to a shell that I used to hide in. Wanting to bother her just to talk to her. Because when I talk to her I don't feel alone. That's how my mind works, it's reaction based and while I've turned off some I've never been able to turn that one off. And the thing is, say he doesn't respond for 5 minutes, I feel devastated. But, his problems aren't mine and I have no right to make them his. He probably has enough already. Goodbye Robin, I hope one day I'll have calmed down enough that we can be friends like we used to, but until then I don't want to go into the hole that I clawed my way out of, or try to drag you into it with me. And thank you for blocking me, things ended on a good note this time.