The tension exceeds me as nothing can please me
My value on life degrades
A life on my own's not a life all alone
But boring as fuck I say
As thoughts outrun bullets my outlook gets duller
The holes in my head disappear
But the mind on it's own can be very prone
To make some new holes appear

Out of these holes pour juices of ages
The wine that the gods sip upon
But this wine has gone sour
As has my mood
As I look at all I've done wrong

I'm conscious of conscience
But not willing to listen
Why would I for it is a joke
My conscience isn't conscious
Of the burden I bear
A burden I bear all alone

A right for the wrong but no wrong is undone
Nor neither the rights will be judged
For rewards are spare as are my fucks
The time for those thoughts is long gone

Now listen young guppy
Don't listen to me
For I shout the thoughts of the mad
Just watch my mistakes
And learn and take
Because I've been a boy very bad

I feel proud of this lyric. Yes I properly used the term lyric to not refer to words intended for a song. Of course when I was walking in school and thought the first line I did intend to write something a lot more different from it. But back to my mad rant. And um, despite my positive tone in this piece of writing I have been in a shitty mood lately so don't mistake me to be positive. My favorite unit every year in English class is Poetry. Not because I can show off the depth of my being, something I prefer to keep private to myself, I only at least try to display it here because anyone that I know that I know reads this already has that type of understanding of me in that way, I think. I don't think any of my peeps actually still read it because it's been a shitstain scrap for so long. Anyways, I can share it with you guys cause you don't know me, if I even still have readers, which allows me to reveal my inner and deeper thoughts. Back to poetry though. I enjoy it because surprisingly I don't enjoy that level of deep thought when it's associated with me. I'm normally lost in it which irks me uncontrollably. But when I think and interpret other people's work I can't help but enjoy it. It gives me insight into my own problems that helps me sort them out, as well as provides me with something to think about that won't negatively affect me, most of the time. A lot of the music I listen to, which I see as poetry with music which allows you to add more emotion and effect to it, tends to be more centered around my moods and unconsciously dictated by more inner thoughts. But poetry class allows me simple expression as well. It focuses my word vomit which I find interesting. In an assignment I write what I think and it naturally has a rhythm and flow to it that I don't really pick out. Shit like typing it up is different where I spend time thinking on it. Well even when I think on it the word choice I normally use it just bizzare. The biggest problem is that I don't really know what I'm writing and I look back at it and explain it to myself. I find it's my way of talking to myself the only true way I know how. The lyric above me though? I truly love it just because of the riddlistic flow that I used where it makes me feel like there's some old man, yoda like person talking to me rather than, well, me. And as I said, my writing is normally word vomit, which surprises me because of it being put together as it is. And what I am happy about a lot is what I used in the third stanza, an epanodo. That's where you take a phrase, "I'm conscious of my conscience" and repeat it back but reversed, "My conscience isn't conscious". It's used in raps occasionally and another example is in "Smells Like Teen Spirit" where Kurt Cobain says "I found it hard, it was hard to find". I even added in a yoda line, the last line.