Who Is God Here?

So I've always been a minimalist, an optimist, and someone that was always for living in the moment. Those three things always made is so I could be happy with nothing and when there was a chance to get something I always took it because even if I fail, things will always turn up. But then I have one of those moments (two so far) where I've just sat in the dark for 2 hours trying to sleep but instead having "Philosophical Breakthroughs".  I've always had this on my mind but I never really elaborated on it. Like think about this, why is it that people are always self-centered and can we really blame them? It goes back to the title, "Who's God Here?" because honestly who is. I'm looking out of my eyes and I see other people, when I call one person selfish it also means another person is either a victim or is self-less. Honestly, anything with consciousness is required to be self-centered, one way or another it is going to be. Likes take this, just me sitting in my basement and watching a movie with my brother. How do I know that I'm not really asleep or in a coma and all of this is a dream? How do I know that the world that I've known for 15 years is actually just some other person's toybox or someone's dream? How do I know that it's not anything to do with me, and in reality it's my brother's world. Right now my brother is the only real thing that is also conscious in my basement and that I'm just a figment of his imagination. We don't know, the theory on universes is just the same with realities. There are an infinite number of them and they keep remaking and recreating and destroying themselves for infitnitum and never will stop. The theory on life is there is no theory. What defines life here? What even defines reality? But most of all, why is it that we live. You ask people they're going to give you reasons but you're never going to know. Now I'm not contemplating stabbing myself in the throat to find out what it means to die and see if I become a god. To test the borders of reality one would truly have to die. Just as much as they'd have to test the borders of life. Just to simply find out the meaning of life you'd have to be without it first, then you'd truly know why it is that you wanted to live in the first place. And I feel like I'm going in circles, just like my brother is right now as I listen to him. And also you should watch John Dies in the End because it helps to elaborate on reality and the flow of things.