I'm Sorry

So as I near 5000 views I'd like to apologize to any daily or relatively usual viewers for the past month or so and how my posts have been mostly made up of depressive moaning about her. I pretty much paraphrased the same feel over and over again. I've been trying to end that though. Possibly incorporate more comedy into it like I used to. Sometimes it's just hard to be funny though, I just don't feel like it sometimes. I want to turn it back to being entertaining in the laugh my ass off cause it's funny sense, but not the it's so pitiful it's funny. I still remember though, I originally made this blog to moan about things that piss me off. It was called "The Coping Mechanism A.K.A. My Bitch" for so long for a reason. She was why I made it too, or at least gave me the idea. I copied her a lot back then. You should read her blog, it's at the bottom of my page and it just shows a scratch of the girl I fell for. The last two don't really do that though, not to be a dick to her. After reading her last one though, which she put up a few days ago, I'm really tempted to just try to talk to her. After reading it my hope started to flare. I ended up thinking, maybe she does miss me a little. I still have to stick by my word though. I told her I'd leave her alone two weeks ago after a bi-daily message to her that got ignored she responded and she and I got into I don't know what to call it, just not a conversation. It ended with me saying I'll try to make the message I was sending my last. But, I really don't want to have it where the next time I see her I can't hold myself together. I want to fix things before the end of summer, but I also want to wait for her to break the silence. I don't know if her blog update counts as that. I remember before she said that I was the only one that still read her blog, which is why I got so refilled with hope, thought maybe the update was directed at me. But I'd have to say I've felt happier the past two weeks than I have for awhile. It's because I don't have to live in fear of the day she gets done with me, because that day came and passed. If she did decide to rekindle our friendship, which I hope she eventually does, I feel like I'd have to make her promise never to kick me to the side again and just tell me when she's had enough. Tell me when she's had enough and I leave her alone for a week. I already know I'm going to run into her next year. Maybe at lunch, maybe in French, maybe in English, maybe in Human Geography. I don't know what grade of Geo she's in though, I'd expect her to be the type to take AP. There's also gym. I have the highest chance of ending up in French with her. There's supposed to be only one Honors French II teacher next year, and two or three classes at that. But, even though the past two weeks have been better than most, I've ended up letting myself go. Despite me feeling happier, that's only most of the time. At night, when I normally get work done like lifting weights, I've been too down to push myself to. I started eating more junk food also. My stomach is slowly returning and I need to get back into weights to work it away.