It's Been Three Long Weeks

It's been three weeks since that shit night happened, and two weeks since I last talked to her. Even though I want to talk to her more than anything, I'm still going to restrain myself. What's a man that can't stick by his word. I still hope that when school starts she's going to be in one of my classes and we manage to rekindle the friendship, somehow. But it'd have to be her that does that. In real life I wouldn't be able to look at her without a tear forming in my eyes. Yesterday I had a long road trip into Pennsylvania to get fireworks, even though I had my friend with me it got pretty quiet after awhile. I had that whole entire road trip to think about things, but all I did was think of her. When it wasn't a fully formed thought it was just her name. I drifted off to sleep a lot during that trip. And when I got home I slept. I had a long day, fixed my sleep schedule slightly so I stopped going to sleep at seven or eight in the morning. Then last night I had a dream. It's not all clear, but I believe I did have some points of lucidity in them. What I do remember though is that she was in it. It was some party thing held by the school. Seemed like a graduation party. We were all in senior gowns and I just remember that I smiled at her without feeling that tightness I'm so familiar with that grows up in my chest. It was like we were friends again, and it made me wakeup with a smile. Most of all, last night I didn't fall asleep with a tear in my eye. I was happy last night.