Fights

In this I'm not talking about a verbal fight, you know calling names and shouting at each other, I'm talking about a physical blows flying fight. So, as I've said before, I'm a short fuse and keeping my head is terrorsome for me. If I didn't give a fuck I'd have been expelled from school months ago for fighting and breaking something on a kid. And then people are telling me I can't take this kid at school, let's call him McDonalds. I CAN. I can take the blows he gives me for doing some petty crap that he overacts to. He said that he was pulling blows, you can't manage that when you're mad. And also, I'm pretty sure that if you were pulling blows you wouldn't slam someone's head into a wall. So now, I'm going to provoke him to hit me with some petty shit and drop him. And I'll be calm to. For example, today he was choking me for stealing some crap. I was standing there laughing then I go, "I can still breath well", and punch him in the gut. People are gonna say I'm just being cocky, but I know I can beat the shit out of the kid and give him what he more than rightly deserves. I lift weights not just for fun, because it really benefits me. And I can really take a hit.

Parties

"I just wanna party." That is practically how I feel, although the song by Yelawolf sucks. Personally I've only been to a couple, and only one that was thrown by someone at my school. There was a second one, but apparently I was too much of a pervert to go. But boy were her parties beast. Now I want to throw one, and I could manage it, but I don't know if it would be any good. Like yeah, we could go to the pool, but that's practically all. What to do when you don't have a giant backyard, I don't know. I was planning to have a fire also, but then realized I might not be able to make a big enough fire for 20 people. And I was told, as long as there's food, people will come. But the thing is that my dad will make me pay for all the food. I only got 40$. I'd be totally dependent on the dollar store. But I can do the douchey thing and say, oh it will be very appreciated if you could bring stuff such as food to the party to make it better.

Tacos, Yeah Nothing To Write About

I totally love tacos. Not only are they easy to make at home, but Taco Bell is one of the cheaper, nice fast food restaurants. I do prefer to use turkey though because although there's less taste, there's also less grease. That makes it way easier to cook because you don't need to drain grease, risking dumping your beef you worked hard to cook into the sink. Like today, I made 5 pounds, I almost dumped half of it into the sink. I do love to eat it with all the fixings, shredded cheese, lettuce, sour cream, beans, and so much more. Today I'm planning on trying to replicate the soft taco with potatoes they have at Taco Bell, just watch me fail. I personally love spicy food also, and respect Hispanic culture, along with other cultures. I add in a can of jalapenos to almost everything, taco meat being the easiest. Nachos are actually my personal favorite of Hispanic food though. Then it goes burritos, tacos, chorizo, chicken. My favorite sides go, Pico De Gallo, rice, chips and salsa, fried plantains, and yukka. The rice is just so good, but Taco Bell's is crappy. It's more grease than seasoning.

Poem, Artsy and Bad

This Girl

She has my heart in a knot

I feel the pain as if I'm shot

Through my chest out the end

To her my love I will send

She confuses me with her kind words

Which use to be just like swords

Filled with hate and dislike

Stabbing me and I'm quite

Scared of how I feel for her

Like no one else for her I burn

So yea, I managed to make another poem. This is over my confusion over the way she now treats me. And I am scared, out of my mind, because I've never felt this way before. And now I'm just worried that she's being nice out of pity. But I really need to get over her, I just feel obsessed.

Losing Shit

I have probably the worst luck with managing to keep all of my stuff where it is. For example, today I found out I lost my pool card, something I've only had for 2 days. The worst part is I'm having friends over tomorrow and we're probably going to the pool. When I lose stuff I always do find it though, just not when I'm looking. And I'll look through my pockets 10 times and not find shit. Look everywhere on the ground, nothing. Once I actually lost a brand new camera while at a friend's house and it probably fell out of my pocket while crossing the street, my dad thought my friend who has a 500$ HD camcorder and the camera I lost was 100$. I just hate losing my shit.

Rapping

My rapping skills are starting to suck. I can't improve my speed, I can only go fast. Like I can spit shit super fast but that's when it's off the top of my head which I haven't done in a while, or if I memorized it. Like free styling is beast and I'm pretty good at it. But I'm only good when I'm not happy, when I'm not in a bad mood, when I have a whole bunch of shit on my mind. Negative emotions = fuel for free styling. Like I tried ciphering, but that failed. I need it to come to me as I say it and leave my mind at the exact same time. I wish I had one of those memories which works like a tape recorder and I can just replay stuff in my head, I have somewhat of it but it's very weak. My photographic memory is what's good, but sadly that doesn't help with rapping. I literally need to be pissed off about something to be rapping. Smashing people comes naturally, but throwing it into a rap is different. I need to be able to get into the mood after a good start, makes it so that when I spin something off my tongue it takes less than a second to think up something that has a good flow and rhyme. Lately, I pause for like 5 seconds then begin again which means, my free styling skill is down the drain right now. Well, when you gain something, something else is lost also.

Reaction Distraction

So pretty much I got a reaction from the girl that I like that I somewhat expected, but expected something worse. In short, I scared her, I expected her to be afraid to approach me, but she's even talking to me like any other person. And I know that I told my friend that I wouldn't write about it here but it keeps distracting me. I'm honestly totally confused, even though I expect that what happened is that she decided just to act nice. But now rather than thinking at night about how I fucked up with her, I keep thinking just about her and how she'll treat me normally now. She is just confusing me. I don't know what to make of it, at all. What made her change, cause the day after she responded to the message she treated me like she normally did. But every day form there on( P.S. it's only been like 2 day ) she's treated me like a normal, respectable person. Worst of all, I can only hope that she decided to genuinely act nice and forget about the shit that my friends have said, not that she's playing nice because she thinks I'm some emotionally fragile shell.

Insanity, can't live without it

You know that saying YOLO (You Only Live Once). Well I don't exactly live with it as my motto but I do take that thing to the extreme. Cause if you're gonna live life you might as well enjoy it. Like seriously do you really want to just sit around at some boring job desperate to make ends meet, I don't. I am one of those guys that loves to take risks just for the sake of it, and my body is proof of it. Just look at my legs, I have scars everywhere. I guess it's the adrenaline that I purposely act insane for. The feeling that nothing can stop you, that you're omnipotent, that you're on top of the world. Who wants to be sensible about everything. If I really wanted to I would never do anything stupid, which would be boring. It's just me, taking risks is what defines me, what is me. I will always take a risk with things, and never pass up opportunities when they come along.

This is a Hostage Situation

So recently I've been enjoying myself, and no I don't mean masturbating. I decided I'd steal some of my friends shit to screw with him. I told him I won't give it to him until he starts acting nice, A.K.A. a hostage situation. I even went so far as to take pictures such as it with a "bag" over it's head and a help me sign taped to it. The thing that I stole was his pencil box. Not that special, but he acts like it costs a million bucks. His pencil box probably cost him about 1$, subtract all the damages it's probably worth about 25 cents. Add in the value of the stuff he has in it it's probably worth about 5$. So ohhh, it's obviously worth something. But the most fun part was when he thought that it's being passed around from person to person, which worries him cause of the shit on it. But it is fun to screw with him. And most of all, he thinks I'll just give it back. I told him he better hope I don't switch schools cause if I do Imma beat him up on the last day of school. He acts tough, smhh.

SOOOOO, HIGHHHHH

Honestly I really wonder what it would be like to get high. Like seriously I decided I'd wait til' college where I can use it to relieve stress, but I don't know. Honestly the stuff I heard about what it's like to be high really interests me. For example, today I was acting like I was on shrooms, literally going around all day saying I saw a pretty unicorn that was sucking itself off. Even going so far as to start petting my friends saying "pretty unicoorrrnnn" now that was fun. And even then there is so many to try, in so many ways. Not to mention the many varieties of marijuana, there's stuff like cocaine, methamphetamines (crystal meth), heroin, opium, acid, ecstasy, steroids, shrooms, epipens, painkillers as far as the eye can see, etc. Just think of all the possibilities. The one thing I wouldn't be able to do is needles. Now I have no fear of them, it's the initial pain of sticking it in, then the injection of the liquid. Also the chance that you'll miss the vein. But the one I think I'd be fine with is using an epipen, because it's pure adrenaline. But steroids in any from I'd stay away from. Really I'd prefer to stick to dope and shrooms if I were ever to get high because they aren't as harmful to the body and they aren't totally addictive. Think about it, marijuana tea. Shroom soup. I could make a pretty nice stew with some shrooms, maybe some crack, some marijuana, and of course onions and some chicken bones. Yum.

Jackassery

I literally belong on Tosh.O. I do some of the stupidest shit ever, and if it got put online would only make it better. When I grow up if I ever get the money I'm going to get a show like Jackass or Tosh.O. I literally troll on chat roulette, people have pissed me off but I've managed to make a lot of people laugh on it too. But that website scares me so I needed someone to troll with, ugh too many dicks. So anyways, yesterday I decided to do two very stupid stunts. The smarter one of the two, by not much, I did first and boy was it fun, and funny. I went about a quarter mile down a very steep slope in 10 seconds. I really wiped out cause at the end the front wheel wobbled too much and I hit a stump in the ground, causing me to fall over and slide for about five yards. Omg, I'd post the video but I'd prefer for you guys not to see my face, SORRY. It was very funny though. So to avoid my parents I decided to go to Dairy Queen, clean up, and get something cold for my leg. I literally scraped up my whole entire right forearm, and now my knee hurts to bend it. But boy was that adrenaline a rush.

This is literally the bike I was riding, except it was probably shorter and it was red.

Emotional Unrest

In case you haven't noticed most of my posts lately(last 3 including this one) have been about my stupid feelings for a girl I know. Well it's cause lately I've been talking to her more, and re realizing my feelings for her.

So right now I can't go a week, much less a day, without thinking of her. Without unconsciously forcing myself into mental pain, into a deep depression, and sorrow beyond belief. And she gets mad at me for saying stuff about her, and even then it's unconfirmed. Did she ever think that maybe having feelings for her are making me depressed and cause too much pain for me. That I can't get over her. The only out I saw was convincing myself that what I only could wish I had with her isn't much to have. That she is the heartless, slutty bitch that my friends seem to think she is. That she means so much to me, yet I don't mean more to her than an ant. I was stupid to think I was over her just because for once I wanted to slap her. Because for a full week I could go without her in my head and clouding up my thoughts. When I realized I was just being delusional I was still fine, even happy maybe. But now she hears I've been saying crap about her and we talked. She shouted at me over facebook and told me off for things that I more than deserved. And now I can't go ten minutes without thinking of her. Of probably the most beautiful, self-respecting, opinionated, woman I'll ever meet. Causing me to be thrown into what will probably be my worst stage of depression. And worst of all, I've actually started crying, something I haven't done in years, something I thought I'd never do in correlation with emotions. I don't think I'll ever get better.

I actually sent the middle paragraph to her, now I'm scared of what she'll say.

Rumors, Fun and Painful

So rumors are one of the few things that I find very fun and interesting. But, of course like everything else in my life if I find them fun they like to bite me in the ass. For example, the whole entire reason the girl I like totally hates me is cause she believed a rumor she heard from my friend. When I tried to explain myself, I fucked it up big time. They're always fun though, who hasn't decided to believe or spread a rumor before. I personally spread a couple about one friend saying he jacked off every hour on the hour. In reality that was a little bit off being every other hour. But so many crap gets spread about my supposed friend cause they decided that it was me that started picking on them. The little shit decided to start telling me I'm gay, when I started making jokes about him he got mad. Who the hell needs hypocrites! So he spreads shit, and cause people think I'm a horrible person, people willingly believe anything that they hear about me. It pisses me off.

And to make it clear here is the definition of a rumor:

ru·mor/ˈro͞omər/

Noun:	A currently circulating story or report of uncertain or doubtful truth: "they were investigating rumors of a massacre".
Verb:	Be circulated as an unverified account: "it's rumored that he lives on a houseboat"; "she is rumored to have gone into hiding".

Sorry Blue for stealing this.

My Head Is Starting To Hurt

So like this really, REALLY relates to many of my earlier posts. It's about the girl I like. I thought I was in love, then thought I was over her. I'm wrong, I'm not over her. I was for a week though. But I guess I'm just drawn to her, no matter how much shit I get from her. My feelings for her make me confused and conflicted. No matter how hard I try to move on it's practically impossible for me. If I even somehow got a girlfriend it would be impossible. At least I'm not totally engrossed in my depression though, she hasn't been a total bitch to me lately. But when I heard my one friend slapped her, I was more mad that I didn't get to see it than that he slapped her. It made me mad at myself but at the same time gave me a sense of accomplishment. Like I said, I'm really confused and conflicted. My emotions could be comparable to when you leave a bag of gummy worms in the sun, they fuse together and are practically impossible to separate. They're knotted up creating the noose that hung my conscience years ago. Obviously rather than killing it off along with all my positive emotions they somehow survived and started surfacing again.

Defective, People Tell Me I'm But This Isn't What I'm Talking About

So I bet the everyone at one point in their life will probably have returned something once in their life. From it turning out that it's defective to buying the wrong thing. Well what I hate is when that happens, and trust me that's happened to me, and it's defective they don't do shit about it. Yea they'll exchange it but they won't do anything for compensation. Like at restaurants finding shit in your food is different though cause they normally give you the meal for free, but that's different. For example about last year I got a bullet blender. I got ti with it already burnt out and not turning on. So when I return it they don't give me some coupon they decided they'd just let me exchange it. Where's the fucking apology, you do realize that it's a bitch to have to buy something and then it won't work. Like yea I realize they're doing something by exchanging it, but some people actually have shit to do. I used those types of blenders everyday for breakfast, one day can make a difference. But then there's stuff like returning stuff just cause it's the wrong thing. Some stores won't let people do that. For example, you buy a crappy album for the sake of my ramblings let's say Drake. You realize he's a piece of shit but you can't return it because they're going to think you already downloaded the music. They actually do that with prom dresses. Oh well, this is probably one of my more crappy posts, but I'm going for a daily post.

Views

So I'm almost at 250 page views, woot. But, even though I doubt that it means anything, the page views for my last 3 posts are still at zero. The other thing is that my traffic sources when I go to see them Google Chrome says that it's a dangerous malware ridden site. Also I am getting view from Germany and Russia, so interesting. So for my foreign viewers; Russian: Спасибо за чтение моего разглагольствования.; German: Vielen Dank für das Lesen meiner Gefasel.; and of course English:Thank you for reading my ranting.


Pretty much I don't care all too much about my page views, they're just some way to create competition. I don't like that because it is just the way people have of saying they're better than others.  Like seriously, who the hell needs that. Somehow I have managed to keep people viewing though, so that's a major accomplishment for me, that somehow I'm interesting. Again, it could just be random ones from malware ridden and nonexistant sites. Oh well.

Sleeping, my favorite thing to do

I can never get enough sleep. It's probably cause when I'm sleeping I'm away from the crappy and fucked up world I've been forced to live in. But sometimes it's really screwing me over. For example I drank 2 amps a couple days ago at 10:00 P.M. I was up til' 2 that night and then whenever I get home from school I can't stay up. Just fall asleep and wake up at 6:00. Now some might not see a problem with that but it makes it so I end up staying up to late when I'm trying to sleep. I only get 6 hours at night, horrible. I have to stay hopped up on caffeine all day just to make it through my classes awake. Maybe it will sort itself out over the weekends, but that I doubt. I'm probably fucked for at least 2 more weeks before my body adjusts and puts me back to normal.

Strangers

You know how as a kid your parents would say, now remember so and so never talk to strangers. I was one of those kids that ignored what I was told and just started talking to them. It was so fun, especially when my parents got scared. And now there's all these sights that are for talking to strangers; Chat Roulette, Omegle; but  what's the point of them. Especially since on video chat 25% of them are guys jacking it, no joke I know from experience. My one friend was telling me about a guy she got jacking in the tub on Omegle, what the fuck is wrong with the world. What's the point of it? And these sites are probably perfect for identity thieves to use to get idiots to give them social security and personal information, it's scary what the internet gets used for now. But now you can also find some interesting people and make new friends, it actually surprised me. But then again I'm paranoid and think that the person I met may be a 40 year old pedo. But I doubt she is. Then there's the whole entire part where people will sext on it, which is pretty stupid. Especially when there's a chance that they aren't talking to who they think they are when it's just text chat. But it's still fun, and something I've found to do when I'm bored out of my mind.

http://omegle.com/
http://chatroulette.com/

Gluttony, it ended up fucking me over

Just to say this ahead of time, this is not a bitch post.

I have a high respect for good food, and almost always pig out. This is affected by my friends though because I noticeably eat more when I have them over than by myself. Heck the only time I'm not eating a lot is on Saturdays because I don't lift weights on that day. Like I don't know when it started but from what my parents said I've had a giant appetite ever since I was five. You know what I did then, I ate a whole lobster in 10 minutes. Like when I was ten I was coming home from a dentist appointment and we stopped by McDonalds, I got a double quarter pounder with cheese and finished it in literally one minute, my parents hadn't even taken a bite by the time I finished. Like I use to always be active but then around fourth grade my friends started to move away and I stopped spending so much time outside, my appetite stayed with me though and caused me to get fat by sixth grade. But now it doesn't matter about my appetite as long as I don't act like Eric Cartman and just eat the skin off of the chicken and not the chicken because I'm active daily.

So my appetite is really affected because I can cook. My dad getting sick when I was in second grade and my mom and dad getting lazy I learned to cook early on. And my friends that have come over will all agree, I really know how to cook. Like I have to do the shopping for my house cause I cook all the meals. I can make great chicken, and Reubens. You'd be surprised how diverse the food I can cook is.

Sometimes I Wish I Was Spoiled, But Then I Realize I'd Hate Myself

So pretty much kids that get spoiled too much end up pissing me off. Cause they're so used to getting what they want that when they don't they act like a whiny little bitch about it. You don't exactly go to someone's house and act in charge, that's reserved for them. And complaining about not getting shit it's just pointless. Like my parents used to think they were spoiling me when I had an allowance. Then I explained to them that if I didn't that would mean they would have to buy everything for me and I wouldn't be ready for when I move out. Having your own money is a good lesson, and it helps people develop for when they cut the chord to their parents. Do you really want to be some 40 year old that has to call his mommy for a 2500 dollar check every month cause you don't want to work for the rent? I know I don't. But, anyways there's also the fact that the spoiled kid, even when they aren't rich, is naturally arrogant which can really get to me. Cause then they end up letting shit get to their head, like seriously if any of you guys watch South Park, my favorite T.V. show, then you know what I'm talking about. Just look at Cartman, a fatass that takes the excuse "I'm Big Boned" to the extreme. He thinks he's smart and rich and shit when really it's just cause he listens to all the crap his mom says to him. He is the #1 person that I'd imagine to be a 40 year old that lives in his mom's basement always with his hand glued to his dick with to much skeet. And every 10 minutes he has to ask his mom to fix him a microwave burrito or a hot pocket. That is what I would call a nightmare.

Keeping My Head

So pretty much I get picked on a whole lot by some of the stupidest pricks at school. Like honestly I'm not that fat, my gut goes out a little but I don't even have to flex all the way and it's fine. Without flexing it it's still not that big. But then there's those dumbasses that tell me I'm gay, that I have no dick, that mine is small. Well if they had any brain they'd know that their voicing their insecurities, and no I'm not saying that to feel better, I'm saying that because it's a psychological thing. But then there's those people that criticize everything. For example today one of my friends almost pushed me into hitting him. Seriously I'm on my edge and about to let loose. Previously I just voiced my anger right away and loved to just hit shit, cause I'm a short fuse. But now I just let it all out when lifting whites. At this point all the bottled up negative feelings that have accumulated for about a year now. And most of the crap I take is from people that call themselves my friends; and really it started off as just us ripping on each other but recently it's gotten a whole lot nastier, and really pointless. For example today we ended up spending 2 classes talking about whether I had man boobs or pecs. I kept saying they were pecs cause I can flex them and it shows through my shirt. Everyone else was saying their boobs, I decided I'd show them by having one of them punch me. No one wanted to. Then one kid decided, oh I know I'll start asking strangers. Well guess fucking what, the benchpress builds the pecs and I use one a lot. So now I really am having trouble keeping my head with these douchebags giving me the stupidest shit ever, especially the stupid criticism. I think it's stupid how people need to feel better about themselves by picking on others. Most of all, the people that always have to sound better. And chentos, no I'm not talking about you.

I Think I'm Better, But I'm Still Feeling Depressed

So pretty much I'm over the girl that I like. Obviously I was wrong thinking that I loved her and that I'd never stop liking her. Pretty much I'm fed up with taking shit from her whenever we talk, for example today I made a racial comment and she told me off for it. What the fuck, she's always hanging around some kid that acts like a Fuckin' Redneck Hick. She tells me off for making dirty jokes, he does the same thing. Honestly I can't take this retarded abuse, I'm pissed at her. I've ignored the shit she gave me for a while, and I don't know why. As far as I'm concerned now she can go suck a dick, something she probably does. Why should I feel bad about saying that though, she acts like a bitch way too much, especially to me. Love makes people do the stupidest stuff, and I can't believe I let a delusion put me in love. And it's really stupid that I fell in love. But, who the hell cares about me anyways.

My Rap,Which Sucks

So pretty much I was bored and my friend was screwing with my blog, that's actually how I got the first line. So I worked on this for about a week and it starts to really suck as towards the end.

Yo Bitches Line Up It'sTime For Cherry Poppin'
Now get on your knees and start the head boppin'
And if you think that Imma stop talkin'
You don't know who the hell it is you fuckin'

That's the life that I wish I lived
But all I do is give and give
I never got to just take a cherry
I just sat at home eatin' some berries

I'm fat, I suck, my friends hate me
And all the girls refuse to date me
So I pump iron and got real buff
Now I'm fuckin' super tough

But all the fools they still deny
That I'm better so prepare to die
Just one, two, three straight to the face
There's one less person to the whole human race

I should punch a nigga when he pisses me off
While all the girls think that I jack off
That my hands just glued straight below my waist
All this oppression I've been forced to face

I ain't that bad and keep my calm
Or else your face would know my palm
My knuckles, my elbow, my forehead
I'd keep hittin' you til' you're dead

So lets see the first person I'd fight
This little short nigga isn't that light
He's a fuckin short little bitch
And could only wish he had a dick

He reuses jokes and steals others
And other guys dicks he probably smothers
He's a faggot and he wonders why
I think he should curl up and die

He thinks I think of him as a friend
But going down that it's just a dead end
He pisses me off with his recycled jokes
He should just go back to his brown folks

Peace!!!

Art

So pretty much I love art and have a high respect for it. I always loved to draw and when I'm at school I always look forward to art class. I personally suck at anything that isn't drawing though. And P.S. in case it wasn't clear when I mean art I don't mean the fine arts, although I'm a percussionist that hasn't played in 2 years. But back to what I was saying, my school recently had an art show and a couple of my pieces were nominated. Only one of them made it though, a character I created and dubbed Snort Boy that I made a sculpture of. But the girl that I like had a couple in the show and they just made me like her more. She made a beautiful charcoal portrait of herself, and I didn't think it was possible but she looked more beautiful. It also looked like an older version of her. She had another one that I don't remember what type it was but I'm pretty sure it was abstract. And it was creative with hair made from grass to a strip of police tape saying something along the lines of parental zone don't cross.  It was just so creative and it was a great way of her to express herself. It's one of the many things that I admire in her, that she can express herself easily, and that she can do it without worrying about what others may think. I can't, I used to be able to easily do it but recently I actually started to care. But that's why I love art, because everything has some hidden message or meaning and it can inspire you for better things.

My Theory On The World And God

So lately I have been talking about stuff that isn't totally to do with why I originally got a blog. This post is though. Pretty much I'm agnostic, which means that I don't acknowledge whether there is a god or not, partially because of the fucked up shit I had to suffer at an early age, partially because I can explain lots of the major things in the religion with science, and finally because if there truly were a god why is there disease, war and other crap that's wrong with the world. Like seriously think about it, why is it  that there is so much prejudice, especially with the "Hicks" in the south that supposedly are religious but discriminate against others of color. Because honestly we're supposed to be born in the image of god, so why does that make someone else better than the other. Think about it why do religions need leaders when we should all be able to lead ourselves because we should all be perfectly capable of leading ourselves. Now to the scientific part. You see like think about it, why do you think the church would always oppress and hold back scientific advances purely because they were afraid of being proved wrong and lose their power. For example Jesus, yes there had been proof that there actually was a Jesus of Galilee, but there's no proof of what's been claimed that he's done. I personally have a theory about Earth, that the Earth has had multiple humanoid races and that we aren't directly related to the Eqyptians, the Romans, and other great civilizations. According to the law of superposition what has happened on Earth always will, meaning that a humanoid civilization could've gotten advanced and destroyed the Ozone Layer, by the time the sun killed them they didn't have the technology to settle other planets. This ties into my God theory saying that Jesus, if he actually did perform "miracles", was actually a remnant of a previous civilization that had existed and ceased. Also Jesus may have been a drug dealer with his own drug empire and a bastard. His followers were just dealers and addicts that would confirm his "miracles" because they weren't right in the head at the time. When he came to challenge the Roman leaders and started being called the King of the Jews he was hung for treason or for his criminal deeds. This of course would be considered blasphemy and if I told it to a priest I would get punched right to the face. That's all for now.

Videogames

So pretty much videogames are my life. I have a life outside of it but I spend almost all my time playing videogames when I'm not lifting weights or at school or doing weights. I of course don't spend more than half of my day playing them but I am the super gamer, and have a reputation on a couple. Because I can remain anonymous online with people knowing my usernames here are a couple. Xbox Live is ZenNAcid and Halo Combat Evolved(PC) is ABRapist. But back to what I was saying, it normally takes me from an hour to a day to get adept at the game that I play. Right now I'm practically addicted to playing Mass Effect 3 all the time, but I also play Realm Of The Mad God. I use to just play Maplestory and other games by Nexon, but they ended up getting boring and I got an Xbox. I just love videogames, there's nothing better to waste your time doing. Who doesn't agree. I do know better than to just spend my time on games all day though, I already have shitty vision, I don't need it to get worse. But which game is the best. A couple months ago I would have debated that Maplestory, Combat Arms, and Vindictus (all by Nexon) because that's all that'd I'd play, but right now I'd say Mass Effect 3 online is the best. It is way better than most of the other shooters that are out there like CoD and Battlefield, but the people that just play those games would say the same about theirs. My friends say that Mass Effect 3 sucks compared to CoD, but that's cause they suck at it. I just spam biotic shock cause I'm a vanguard, and RAGE 24/7. Realm of the Mad God is a free online flash game on PC. My brother introduced it to me, and now I can't stop playing it. If I'm not playing Mass Effect it's Realm of the Mad God. I just love this game, almost as much as Mass Effect 3, just cause of the ease of playing and simpleness of it. What happened was I couldn't sleep and thinking of playing Runescape, god that game use to be all that I'd play, and then when I got a new account I realized that Jagex fucked it over. So I was talking to my brother and he's like well you should try this and you can play it with me and (insert name here). Well that's my post of the day, hope you 3 readers enjoyed it.

My Dad Has Really Pushed His Luck

First off something irrelevant, HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO, that's just cause I respect other cultures.

So pretty much my dad has really been pushing his luck with the shit he does. He talks to me about responsibility, he talks to me about laziness, he says shit about my friends. What the hell kind of father does that!!! And yes, I'm sorry for bitching to you strangers.

So pretty much he woke me up from sleeping, a little stupid because he always gets mad at me for waking him up, even if it's to take his meicine. And he has me get in the car and I'm like so, why do you need me, you couldn't just take brother(NO NAMING PEOPLE) I'm tired, you know what he called me, A LAZY SHIT!!!! So I got mad and told him to shut the fuck up and that he shoudn't be the one calling me lazy of all people. I do all the shit around my house and he just sits around doing nothing. You know why he was bringing me, so I could go into the stores for him, the irony in that. I walk everywhere, I keep my room clean, I do most of the shoping, I do all the cooking, I lift weights, while he spends all day just sitting on his ass, he is the lazy one here. He says he does what he can, driving me places, and paying bills, FIRST OFF I HAVE TO WALK EVERYWHERE CAUSE HE'S TO LAZY TO EVEN GET IN A CAR, and second off he forgot to pay about half the bills this month. That also ties into responsiblity, I do almost everything that I have to, he doesn't. He told me, have you seen the house, wtf is he talking about I have a clean room and my basement used to always be clean but my brother's become more of a slob, the place where he practically lives is covered in trash, and he has a trashcan right by him. He's to lazy to walk the 10 fucking feet in my living room to get on a computer. He is so lazy that when he checks if the dishwasher is finished he looks at the light, he never fucking thinks to open the thing!! So pretty much I ditched him because we were still close to home, heck if we weren't I still would've. When he got home he was mad at me, HIM MAD AT ME!!! he should be begging for my forgiveness. So now I'm going to spite him, because he decided that I'm a lazy shit I'm not going to do shit for him, for the rest of the month, just to show him lazy. When I cook it'll only be for me, my brother, and my mom; when I shop it'll only be enough for me, my brother, and my mom. My dad needs to learn his place, and in case you guys didn't already know, he is currently unemployed and gets disability checks. That's another thing, I actually want a job, and I'm not even 16 yet, he hasn't tried to get one.

The Obsession Depression, It's Been Fought By My Delusion Confusion

So pretty much the girl happen to so thoroughly love hates me and I feel obsessed with her. I think I could be compared to a fucking Belieber fangirl at this point, thinking of her every night and day. This of course is bad for me and my healing process with the fact that it makes it hard to get over her and forget why I liked her. It also makes it harder for me to sleep, I just can't take life. Lately I've purposely been letting my delusions get ahead of me so I don't feel as sad, but I do. I feel miserable inside and don't think even time can heal it. At school I act normal though, there's no reason for my friends to suffer me, but obviously you readers should. Back to the delusions though, what really fought it well was when I got it in my head that a girl liked me. Well first off, I thought on it to long and then tried to push it to the back of my mind because I scared myself, secondly I was told that I was wrong, what a minuscule surprise. I got other delusions though, like my friends actually are willing to hear this shit. So many I can't even name them, I can just say it's never been good. For example, I started thinking my image in people's mind was starting to improve. Well I fucked that over when I screwed with my friends Facebook. Honestly there are other girls that I like though, just not as passionately as I do for the one the only the *****. They would be more of I might ask out later, but not now and probably not for the rest of the school year. Another delusion that helped somewhat, I originally made as a joke, was that we might be friends cause of something she said on facebook, well I already knew I was purposely reading it wrong and it would probably decades before she thought of me as a friend. Well like I feel so obsessed just any interaction with her cheers me up, no matter how mean she acts to me. I just hate this fucking life I've been forced to live.

No picture today, couldn't think of one that went along with it.

Marvel V.S. DC

This topic has been brought into mind by one of my friends that posed a question on facebook. In return she got over 300 comments. The question was Batman V.S. Spiderman. I think that it isn't a good comparison because they're from two different comic lines which is why I'm asking my question. Marvel V.S. DC. Honestly I happen to love both.They also seem to mirror each other in characters.

So lets start with Marvel. Their main superhero group is called the Avengers, way cooler sounding than the Justice League or Justice Society. Other smaller teams are the Fantastic Four, heroes imbued with powers from cosmic rays; X-Men, team of mutants that are not only learning to use their powers but for good; and S.H.I.E.L.D., not necessarily a superhero group but a worldwide anti-terrorist group. They thought of all the cool names for stuff, Avengers, X-men, S.H.I.E.L.D., H.A.M.M.E.R., Skrulls, Krells, Hydra, etc. They use the idea of the multiverse to explain all the multiple variation  of characters and them fighting each other. It's just plain FUCKING AWESOME!!! They also provide comedic relief in many of their comics and T.V. shows, and happen to draw the boobs bigger.

D.C. older, but not necessarily better. Rather than using the Multiverse idea they had Golden Age and Silver Age; Earth-1, Earth-2, they eventually fused to become New Earth. They also had their own superheroes during WWII (Golden Age) called the Justice Society of America and the Creature Corps.(Not totally sure what it was called) They also jumbled many things up such as the Spectre turning out to be the embodiment of hope, and the original green lantern only using powers from the spectrum through magic, leaving him no prior connection to the Green Lantern Corps. Don't get me wrong, I totally love D.C. especially the part with the emergence of the Black Lantern and White Lantern Corps. but I can't say it's the best. For example, the names aren't that catchy. Justice League, Justice Society, Teen Titans, ... BORING. And they're way to serious for me. The one part that will always beat Marvel though is the superhero families, there's the Batman Family, the Arrow Family, the Flash Family, and more. You don't get that with Marvel.

Well I could go on and on for hours of reading but I prefer to stop here where hopefully you're still interested.

My Dad is a Retarded Dumbass

Okay, so I'm just about fed up with dealing with my dad. I don't even like going to the store with him, especially at the doctor. For example take today, I was at the doctor and they asked me how I was doing and I say I'm fine, then he says, "he's doing horrible because Obama's still president". Of course I told him off for that shit and he didn't get it. Just like how I was talking about a school that I might end up having to go to not being part of a program. He said it's fucked up, I don't see how. See every school decides whether to participate or not in it based off of the budget. The school is new and farther from other schools participating in the program. Also, it costs that school a substantial amount of money to hold seats in that program. When I explained that to him and how it makes sense he called me a democrat. First off, how the fuck is that related, second off how is that an insult. He's started thinking I'm a democrat because I don't think the way he does. WHAT THE FUCK, HE ACTS LIKE HE THINKS LIKE EVERY OTHER RIGHT WING REPUBLICAN. Well I'd like to show him the fact that most right wind Republicans would probably agree with me because the school is new and farther way, A.K.A. a potential way to waste money. There was another time he decided to call Mormonism a cult because they claim to be a Christian religion, but don't view Christ as the savior. He decided to also say that he did research on them while in college, that was over 20 years ago, and he was probably lying about it anyways. They believe that Christ already came a second time, the first was in the Roman times, the second was to the Native Americans. I told him this and he still calls it a fucking cult. Now I'm not in the mood to cite some sources but if I did, I bet my dad would be so fucking wrong.

I'm a Happy Perverted Boy

So this is related to my previous post, especially what I was doing. One of the things I did while on my friends facebook was talking to the girl I like, even though early on she knew it wasn't him. By the end she actually acted nice and didn't seem mad at me for using his facebook to talk to her, she even in the end said your nice and all but I have other friends to talk to. Of course then my delusional mind took hold and got me thinking, she thinks of me as a friend. Of course I can't go asking her about it, but I enjoyed it. I'm getting ever closer to getting over her and going back to my regular self. In fact there's a song that could somehow relate to some of the way I feel, and no it's not rap it's by AWOLNATION which is an alternative rock band. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wcIEsf1ITA&ob=av3n , Not your fault. I honestly love this band including another song called sail. Happy Happy AZN. Bye for now cause I have nothing else to say.