So pretty much the girl happen to so thoroughly love hates me and I feel obsessed with her. I think I could be compared to a fucking Belieber fangirl at this point, thinking of her every night and day. This of course is bad for me and my healing process with the fact that it makes it hard to get over her and forget why I liked her. It also makes it harder for me to sleep, I just can't take life. Lately I've purposely been letting my delusions get ahead of me so I don't feel as sad, but I do. I feel miserable inside and don't think even time can heal it. At school I act normal though, there's no reason for my friends to suffer me, but obviously you readers should. Back to the delusions though, what really fought it well was when I got it in my head that a girl liked me. Well first off, I thought on it to long and then tried to push it to the back of my mind because I scared myself, secondly I was told that I was wrong, what a minuscule surprise. I got other delusions though, like my friends actually are willing to hear this shit. So many I can't even name them, I can just say it's never been good. For example, I started thinking my image in people's mind was starting to improve. Well I fucked that over when I screwed with my friends Facebook. Honestly there are other girls that I like though, just not as passionately as I do for the one the only the *****. They would be more of I might ask out later, but not now and probably not for the rest of the school year. Another delusion that helped somewhat, I originally made as a joke, was that we might be friends cause of something she said on facebook, well I already knew I was purposely reading it wrong and it would probably decades before she thought of me as a friend. Well like I feel so obsessed just any interaction with her cheers me up, no matter how mean she acts to me. I just hate this fucking life I've been forced to live.
No picture today, couldn't think of one that went along with it.
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