Sunday, June 24, 2012

Facing Your Fears, Yes I Realize The Cheeziness

Everybody is scared of something, no one is without fear, it's just some can hide it better than others. I personally can do it somewhat well because I don't fear physical things as much as I do the emotional shit. Like the dark it's nothing. Now I'll admit that after watching a horror movie I'm not initially scared, I get scared around 3 hours afterwards where it's had time to sink in. And then that will only last a day or two. But plain old darkness can't do it. I have to hear some loud abrupt noise and I won't jump, I'll punch. Once on Halloween I punched a guy right in the chest for scaring me in a Haunted House, and it wasn't intentional my hand just shot out. I would literally let a wolf that I've never seen before walk up to me, and if it snarls I will wrestle it for a while until I get a good chance to hit it in the face with my elbow. And no, that's not me being my cocky, snide self. I tend to not care that much about getting physically hurt, I do the wacky and crazy stunts and pain is more mental than physical. And also I got a good enough muscle mass to beat the shit out of some dumb mutt that's decided it's going to try to eat my face, and I also know some basic techniques to fighting. But the emotional stuff can really get me. Things like people dying no, I mean like talking to the girl I like. I can't just walk up to her, I need to see someone else down there and then I walk up. Of course since school's out I can't do that but oh well. What I'm really scared of right now is either fucking up with her somehow, or asking her out and getting told what I'd expect, no. Now that would be my worst fears come true. God I hate angst.

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