I'm At The Center Of Myself

So I had one of those deep thoughts and well what is self-centeredness? It's the nasty product when Pride and Greed meet and have nasty looking babies. At the core Pride and Greed have been my two biggest problems when it comes to the Seven Deadly Sins. To list it simply, in order of trouble caused, they're Pride, Greed, Lust, Gluttony, Sloth, Envy, and Rage. Talk to me 5 years ago I would've put Rage first and then Sloth and Greed. Now I don't know. I've tried to ignore my urge to put myself first but it's failed at some points. Somewhere down the line maybe about the third generation of Pride and Greed creating babies Sloth and Envy decided that they'd join in though. When you're self-centered you have a giant ego, something that I have let grow out of control at points, and then you also need to spoil yourself. Those are the two major factors. Aspects of Humanity are just like humans themselves, they don't like to be by themselves. One sin is going to be influenced and influence the other Seven Deadly Sins in some aspects. But the reason that I say Sloth and Envy got involved in this orgy of errors with humanity is because the more self-centered you are the less you're willing to do something unless it benefits you, Sloth, and you'll see other people above you which hurts your pride and you want what they have, Envy. Of course Rage and Lust will get in on it but I don't really think that you see it as much. Really Self-Centeredness is fully described by all 7 sins, but I'm more affected by the four that I said in this aspect. Lust got in on it by making me feel like I need to have who I want regardless of what they say, which led to trouble I wish I didn't bring about. Rage is when I didn't get what I wanted except I wasn't mad at them, as far as I know I still need to examine myself more, but mad at myself. They really should have another set of Deadly Sins that don't outwardly affect people, or appear that way. There'd be Self-Doubt and others that I can't think of at the moment. But I got really self-centered this year and didn't really notice what was going on in other people's lives around me. I got caught up in myself, something that I've hated that happens to me often. I didn't notice Blue was depressed at points in the school year, except one point but I didn't do much about it except try to talk to her about it. She kept talking about how she was apathetic to everything. BUT I DIDN'T NOTICE SHIT! I didn't realize she was depressed and now wish I was there when she was. She doesn't like to talk about her problems but I want to always be there. At the core of every person though they care more about themselves than anything else, and that's never going to change. She's always been there to talk to me, even when I was the most annoying thing in the world, and I wish that I returned the favor. Even though she doesn't come to me like I do to her, I still should have done something. It just shows how unworthy I am to even talk to her. Much less think that she should be with me. I had another friend with a lot of problems and I never really noticed them until he mentioned them to me. Up until that point I never really thought he had any real reason to be sad and honestly thought he was always happy. I still can walk in other people's shoes though, that's never going to change. But, at this point I've even managed to stop doing that.