I haven't been home for a while,
I'm sure everything's the same:
Mom and Dad both in denial,
an only child to take the blame.
Sorry Mom but I don't miss you,
Father's no name you deserve.
I'm just a kid with no ambitions,
wouldn't come home for the world.
So if you watch the video it's a little robot walking around everywhere. He's saying he's run away from home, or doesn't have anywhere to call home because his house isn't what it used to be anymore. I'd go with the former though because the second line confirms it. Then he goes on to say that his parents can't be at fault for anything but he can always be the one responsible. Obviously Deryck had a bad home life that he disowns his father and practically tells his mom to fuck herself. Again, referring to the video, it's a LITTLE robot. This is symbolic in the sense that it's size is to represent the age and it doesn't plan to go anywhere, just wander. The final line supports my explanation of the first when he says he's not coming home. Now for any new readers, I have a horrible home life. With both my parents being lazy, self-serving sacks of shit there's no surprise that I relate to his song. I've had those moments that I renounce my dad too. But I don't think I could leave, before I used to be able to in fact I "ran-away" 3 times, but now I've gotten comfortable here. If I could though, I would burn this house down with everything in it just so I'd never have to see it again. Now as to his ambitions. That could be my motto. My ambition comes from my parents. I don't really care much to become an engineer or a scientist working in pharmaceuticals. Yea I want to change the world, but hell no not through there. It's not the hard work, it's that I don't think whatever change I make would last. The world has a balance to maintain. I'd more enjoy being a psychologist, how funny I hate them, or a chef or even just a bartender. Someone who I know is going to make a change everyday and it can't be thrown back in their face.
{You'll} never know what I've become,
the king of all that's said and done.
The forgotten son?
This city's buried in defeat,
I walk along these no name streets,
Wave goodbye to all,
as I fall...
Ever seen "That's My Boy"? Well the main character's son leaves once he turns 18 and goes so far as to change his name so that his dad never finds him. The kid becomes a successful business man too. He's saying about the same thing. They're not going to know who he is but he's going to go on and be great. They'll forget him though. He's going to leave the city and go somewhere else where he doesn't even know the streets. But he thinks it's bringing him down. I can't count how many times I've thought this. The whole entire, when I'm 18 I'm out of this hellhole because my house is a dead end attitude. But I can't do that, it'd be leaving too much. Not leaving my parents, but my friend definitely. It's this type of stuff that makes me wonder about college. Normally when I talk about college with friends I talk about them going to the same one as I do. But what if that doesn't happen? But I can't just leave everything behind. It'd be the end of me mentally and financially.
At the dead end I begin
to burn the bridge of innocence.
Satisfaction guaranteed,
a pill away catastrophe.
On a mission, nowhere bound,
inhibitions underground,
A shallow grave I
have dug all by myself.
He's saying he's picking himself up and he isn't the naive, ignorant, innocent kid he used to be. Cause he's starting from the bottom of course he's going to be happy with whatever he gets, but he's also got a drug problem. Atleast he has no plans, his ambition is dead. He's just going to wander like the robot in the video. By saying "inhibitions underground" he's either saying that his mentality is holding him back or he doesn't have anything to stop him. He can't blame anyone for this though because it's his actions that led to this. Yea....this is serious deep shit these lines. I don't think I'm starting from the bottom. But I haven't been innocent since second grade to what's wrong with society. I've had those thoughts about abusing drugs. Again, I have no real plans for the future. I just want to let myself lead me wherever I go and not complain where I end up.
And now I've been gone for so long
I can't remember who was wrong.
All innocence is long gone.
I pledge allegiance to a world of disbelief where I belong.
Now he's not talking about not being home, he's saying drugs. He hasn't been living in reality for awhile because he's been too fucked up on shit to even know where he is. At this point he doesn't know what's going on just that the world is a fucked up place. Now everyone, cause they're human, belong in a place such as described above. The world is a cleverly strung web of lies that when unstrung isn't truly unstrung but split into smaller and smaller strands of silk. Now my usual self hasn't been here recently, I've been too deluded to preserve happiness. I do know who was wrong in why I've been so deluded, it was me. And just to say, I pledge allegiance to the death of the United States of America. And to anarchy where law doesn't stand. No nations are truly good, evil, or virtuous. Yea it's a crappy rendition of the Pledge of Allegiance. I actually got asked why I don't say it before and when I said I can't pledge allegiance to a country I hate it got quite the negative response. But it's America's own form of subliminal messaging. It's slowly instilling in our minds at a young age, when it matters, a sense of patriotism. They do it in North Korea too, and we were watching a video in class that included it and kids were blabbing about how stupid North Koreans were. They need to look at themselves first.
A walking disaster,
the son of all bastards.
You regret you made me,
it's too late to save me.
(You regret you made me,
it's too late to save me.)
Now here's the hook, so late in the song. NO DIP YOU'RE A WALKING DISASTER. The reason why it's so late in the song is because he has to tell the story of his descent into homeless wandering. The next part practically says he's an asshole etc etc. Now society will never be able to admit to it's responsibility in the forming of a homeless person or a vagrant in general. Nor will they admit to drug users being about. But at the point that they can regret you're existence, it's because you finally did something that grabs their attention. In here he blames society for his own descent, which I would do too. Not going to blab about how I relate to this part, it's quite obvious. I have so many blabbing about what's wrong with the world, with me, and my parents here.
(And he said)
Far as I can tell,
it's just voices in my head.
Am I talking to myself?
'Cause I don't know what I just said.
I honestly think everyone's a schizophrenic. Besides the existence of a conscious and ability to think to yourself you're always going to think that what you're thinking isn't actually a product of you. Now people do tend to have most ideas instilled in their head by others though. I've had these feelings. I even made a saying. I have a split personality and their all named *INSERT NAME*. And I have heard voices in my head, but when I realized it was just my mind wandering I ignored it. But the last line, there are the points where I don't know if I said something aloud or in my head. I have the same suspicions with others. Sometimes I feel like I'm hearing them in my head more than in my ears.
(And she said)
Far is where I fell,
maybe I'm better off dead.
Am I at the end of nowhere?
Is this as good as it gets?
Someone that made it to the end. He characterizes guys as born to fail and girls as successful. But many business men commit suicide, not just the unsuccessful ones. No need to elaborate here. Haven't reached the point of success yet. At least not in the business world.
I will be home in a while,
you don't have to say a word.
I can't wait to see you smile,
wouldn't miss it for the world.
Now he's talking to a loved one. Probably not his parents. If I were to leave I'd be talking to Blue when I came back. Blue, then Chentos, then Twerky, then probably Whilo. Oh how I love that I have so many nicknames for my friends. But he's talking to a girlfriend here. One he ended up leaving behind. I know that I'd never be able to leave behind Blue, but there's always the chance that I wouldn't be leaving her because my feelings would be gone and we'd be on bad terms. But I prefer not to think of the negative what-ifs. But if I were to leave, even if Blue weren't my special someone and just a special friend, I would run through a minefield to see her smile. Her smile that would brighten up my day.
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