Sunday, November 4, 2012

Do You Hate Him Too?

So yesterday I was at the store with my friend and I was messing around and making fun of my retarded dad.  Then it hit me, I could actually become a comedian with him as my act. Being a comedian has been a nice dream of mine that I never pursued much because of what it brings along. Friends of comedians HATE THEM. It's because they get made fun of by the comedian on stage and it gets embarrassing. I personally wouldn't mind because I enjoy a nice laugh at myself, but most people have ego problems. But then it got me to thinking because we were talking about how our futures would play out and I said I'd probably be too used to a relaxed lifestyle when I enter college and have budgeting problems and need to do other stuff for money besides have a job. Then I realized, I could be a late night comedian while I worked my way through college. Then, hopefully, I get picked up by Comedy Central or something and they give me a program or a comedy special. I, like lots of comedians, would spend most of my specials talking about my past. The first special would be called "Do You Hate Him Too?" to mock my dad, something I have a talent for. My next special would be "I Need To Be A Bitch" talking about my girl problems and how I literally become the bitch of the girl I like, so far none have tried to take advantage of it. Then I thought of another one I could do, and it hit me, the jewel of it, the funniest one I could think of, "Snapbacks and Swagfags". It'd be where I talk about my self-discovery and this blog, and how I'm a white rapper and shit. A.K.A. stuff that makes people actually lose their asses when they laugh. I mean, I look like a poser the way I dress right now. But trust me, I'm anything but, and I don't care whether people in real life believe it or not. And I'd do tours for the military also, with a small fee. Just like you pay for me to fly out, I'll even ship out with the troops, and I get some walk around money for every venue based off of weekly. I'd stay at the base and everything. I'd be doing the, "Do You Hate Him Too?" routine to remind the troops they have fathers that were actually good parents and worth fighting for. But then, what would I actually do as an adult? Well I'd be either a comedian, some type of engineer or inventor, or have a military career. My "rapping" isn't going anywhere, I know that much. But it would be chill as fuck if I could be all three plus an underground rapper.

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