Nothing Good Ever Lasts Me

I guess one thing does, Blue. A friend I can always count on to be there for me and listen to me. But right now I'm in a slight depression, not a serious one. My biggest problem in this world isn't my weight, it's not hygiene, not my appearance, not grades. Nooooo, my biggest problem is girls. I got told she liked some other guy that asked her out yesterday. I'm chill with it, I mean like seriously, IT WAS PREDATING. I didn't even have a real relationship, just a test. But those 3 days were like a fucking dream for me. I didn't jack off for those days either, 4 days total. I don't need to when I have a girlfriend that I like. It's a horrible trade-off I suffer though. 2 days of happiness bring me a week or two of depression. I guess it's just the way my life works. But today and yesterday haven't been my day anyways. I barely ever have "my day" though. When I do though, it's followed with a giant backlash. I honestly scared myself though. My face doesn't show any emotion when I'm at home unless it's laughing. I don't even laugh aloud. All that happened when I got told was well nothing, I mean after a while my chest started hurting, but my face was blank. I was just like, what the hell just happened but I don't give a fuck anyways. But my biggest problem is girls for a reason. I honestly think I have a good chance with girls, I just have my own standard. It's only one, but it's a serious one. I HAVE TO ACTUALLY LIKE THEM. I'm not one of those guys that could bare to just date a random girl that I think is hot. If a girl tells me she likes me, I won't do anything about it. I won't go out with her. Well I might, but it depends on if I actually like them like that. I hang with guys that will literally go out with a girl just for ass and boobs though. With girls there are 3 paths they can go down after we become "friends". The reason I say friend in "" is because the word friends implies a certain bond while most of the time it's an acquaintance. But after acquaintance it's either close friend, serious love interest, or friend that I occasionally get a minor crush on. It's normally the third one though. Every year I have one serious crush, I'm pretty sure this whole year the only girl I'll think of that makes my heart swoon will be the one I just finished predating. And right now there are 2 girls that are close friends with me. But seriously though, my love life is in shambles. I'll probably stay a girless virgin with no one to like me the way I like them until I'm 40 years old.