Do I Look Like Trash?

So as I said earlier I've been playing League of Legends a lot more recently. Well, last night I got into an argument with frankly an asshole who decided to call everyone noobs because we were losing. Then when I responded and told him to shut up he called me the biggest noob even though I was doing the second best on the team. Then he talks to me about teamwork because I'm not focused and sending my guy in solo but he's there sitting and insulting the team. I challenged him to a 1V1 and he didn't dignify it with an answer but decided to call me trash instead. I don't think he was being a troll though, no he was doing the best on the team, but I was a close second. So by the end of the game, and we had a chance to win, we lost because I kept feeding them. It wasn't intentional, noooo, it was because I was more focused on telling the bastard off for being a jackass online. The worst thing he did was he was telling me to uninstall the game. What's wrong with people online these days? That someone would make such a big deal out of losing a game. I mean LoL has ranked play where you can make money but we weren't playing that. No, we were playing blind pick. And what I find funny is that the guy that kept telling me I was a noob was a lower level than me. He also couldn't tank, my character can take on two at a time sometimes.


He used Viktor

LoL, No I'm Not Laughing

So I got into a game that's pretty popular and sure you've all heard of before called League of Legends. I'm a super-noober at the game but I've gotten better. At first I sucked so hard that playing Beginner I'd die all the time and my team would manage to lose, but now I do okay on Beginner. I mostly play Intermediate Dominion, yes I prefer to play against A.I.s. I'm going to try a P.V.P one after I finish this post though. I tried out a couple of champions and at the moment my favorite to use is Udyr. The only reason I'm using him is because he's one of the free champions. Last week the champion I always used was Mordekaiser but I had trouble figuring him out. I didn't realize until Saturday that his abilities used up health which is why I was dying so often. Now here's a really nooby thing, I didn't know that abilities didn't affect structures. I'd be taking down a turret and using abilities on it thinking it was doing something and ended up dying faster. I do own one champion, Annie. I don't know why I bought her, I guess because I liked her Ult, but I sorely regret it. Right now I'm going to work on getting promo codes to get Riot Points so I can buy Udyr. I've figured out a good strategy too. When playing Dominion I cycle points going Bear Stance, Tiger Stance, and Phoenix Stance. After finishing all three I add the rest into Turtle Stance. That's just because Turtle Stance isn't as useful as I'd thought it to be in Dominion because the health and mana steal is weakened. I never really figured out Turtle to begin with though because I'd stay in it when I needed health, then read a strategy guide and it said only stay in it while you have armor from it. But, my strategy is use Bear Stance, which increases movement speed, to get to the Capture Points then when fighting a champion I cycle between Phoenix and Tiger Stance because of the activation effects. That's also my general combat strategy when using Udyr. Because I don't play Classic I have no real strategy but if I had to make one I'd be in Turtle Stance when there's only minions and use my combat strategy when a champion comes by. Then use Bear Stance over and over if I need to chase the champion. And when taking a turret I use Tiger Stance because it increases my attack speed. As far as equipment goes I buy the Trinity Force first, getting Sheen then the Zeal. After that I go for Randuin's Omen buying the Giant's Belt first. After I get Ninja Tabis. Then Wit's End. It's a pretty good strategy for buying. Some other champions I want to get are Malzahar and the champion with the giant boomerang shuriken. Sorry forgot a lot of the names. And of course Master Yi, from the way my brother talked about him he's really useful if you just spam Meditate.

Stupid Cuntwhore

So you would expect me to be complaining about my mom from this title but no, it's not a bitchrant about that dumb cunt but about my brother's whore. So I was a really dark person last year and a habit I had was to constantly mock people without caring about what they did about it or remorse and one of my many victims was the whore. "She" hasn't forgiven me even though I've decided to stop picking on "her"  Basically now I wait for "her" to make a rude comment before I taunt "her" with "her" many flaws. I'm pretty sure that " she" wouldn't act like such hot shit if my brother weren't around. I've decided that if "she's" going to be nasty while I'm nice I'm going to be an ass. When I say ass I really mean ass though. In front of my brother I called "her" a whore that sleeps around. I also commented on "her" ugly face that reminds me of a troll, especially from the side. I honestly think that when "she" was a kid "she" fell on "her" face and then was viciously stomped by a horse "she" abused which gave "her" an ugly nose that from the side scares me. I do have quite a large arsenal of comments to make about "her". Besides "her" being ugly "she's" also really stupid and slightly chubs. I got a wide amount of comments to make but those are just a few off the top of my head. One of my really favorites though is to make fun of "her" by talking about all the blowjobs "she" gives.

Aren't I Magical?

So as I've said I got gloves. Sorry that I haven't posted a video of me gloving yet, it's because I haven't found anyone to record it yet. But I've gloved for my brother before, I'd have him record it but my camera is a piece of shit, and he's said that he thinks I'm better than the guy that was showing me how to glove. I still need to get finger rolls down but I can tut and do a lot of flips with my wrist and use them to transition between different tricks. I decided that if I were to take on a name I'd be Fuckboy or Marvel. Fuckboy because I've already made 2 things that involve flipping the person off and intend to create more. Marvel because I also got a nice spiderman hoody and can wear that, a white mask, and a hat. Of course I'll get other hoodies so I can mix up my gloving. But now I'm practicing because the guy that was showing me how to glove asked for a show because my brother told him his opinion. Only problem is regardless of whether I am better than him or not he'll deny it because he has an ego problem. He's a bit of an ass also but he's still chill.

Oh The Boredom

So I've gotten to a point of boredom I figured would take another week for me to reach without my laptop. But I've gotten into just watching anime on my brother's computer all day and sitting around just sleeping. Right now I'm watching Fairy Tail because I finished watching One Piece and I'm planning to start watching other anime that I haven't in a while. I'm so behind. I think I'm going to watch Bleach also and I know I watched most of Dragonball so the rest I'll have to wait and see to find out.

Well This Is Bad

So it's the usual, 11:30 and I'm about to make my daily blog post because I neglected to post all day. Well this isn't any good because now my mind's just gone blank and I can't think of anything to say. I couldn't think of anything to say to Blue on Facebook either. I've been having a serious case of writer's block recently and have resolved to solve it soon, well in about 100 or so days. I'm going to take a 1 month hiatus from blogging after it's been exactly a year since I made this blog. Right now I'm at about 250 posts so that's 100 more posts until I take a hiatus. Even then you never know and maybe by then I'll have had a more interesting life and not need a hiatus. I'm just guessing and hoping but I suspect to have gotten a girlfriend within the upcoming 100 days. Who knows, maybe my hopes will come true.

Drowning In Boredom

So I'm not exactly the festive type on the holidays. Even with Christmas we're not festive. It's just like any other day for us, we get up, and walk up and down and around the house. Because of that I have nothing at all to do on Facebook because everyone else is off being festive with their families. I have one friend that's Muslim that I could have gone over to hang with, but I already made plans to hang with him tomorrow. Then my laptop not having any internet makes it better. I can still use it for the vast game library I built on it over a year, but it's hard to manage because I need to hook it up to a t.v. or monitor which I'm not used to doing. Even worse is that I have to angle my head upwards and my keyboard would be the laptop base rather than a wireless keyboard which would be easier to manage. Ugh, can't wait for my Staples gift cards to show up so I can order my laptop and be done with it.

What A Nice Christmas Present

So I overly embraced the Christmas spirit and the spirit of giving with what I gave my friends. Not much really but I gave out chocolate to some people. So things were going good last night until my laptop hinge, the one that was left, snaps and my screen falls backward. Then tonight while using my laptop I have a skewer in to support it and what I have the laptop on is nudged so the screen shoots back and a chord rips out. Turns out that chord was needed for internet so I need a new one. I don't have money just laying around to spend but I went to discover and looked up the credit that we have with them and I can get about 300 bucks to spend on a laptop. Added to a check of 150 bucks that I got from my grandfather for my birthday 2 months ago that I've been saving I have 450 to spend. Anything else is covered by my parents because I cleaned up the front and backyards. So, anyways, I'm browsing on Dell for a computer and due to it being the end of the month there's no customizability. I wanted to get a computer with 6GB of RAM and an I5 Processor along with Windows 8 and I can't find anything cheaper than 750 bucks. I look for a Windows 7 one with the same processor and RAM and the only one there is an alienware that's 1000$. If it were the beginning of the month I would have gotten everything that I wanted on it because my fucked up laptop cost me 660$ and had an I5 along with 6GB of RAM. So I went to Staples, where I could get 325$ to spend and found a nice acer that would only cost 580$. Had my specifications and everything, best part of all it has a numpad also. I cannot stress how important a numpad is to me on a laptop. So now I have to backup all of my music and any game save files I want on my external hardrive.

I May Finally Have My Job

So a friend of the family that buys animals every now and then inherited a giant herd of cattle from someone. I was told of this by my dad so I'm a little skeptical about it. But, because they got a giant herd and it's hard to manage they may hire me and my friend to assist on the farm. Currently they're hiring convicts so us asking about a job would be somewhat haven-like for hiring. Only problem is that it'll be on minimum wage which is a little annoying, especially since it'll be at the most 18 hours a week. I was reading up on it as usual and assuming we're being paid in checks and not under the table 18 hours a week is the max. With the minimum wage of $7.25 in VA I'd make about 130 or so dollars a week. I could really use the extra cash especially since my candy sales aren't totally dependable. For example, on paper I make 60 bucks a week when I sell well. Only problem is that some people I give it to on credit, others I give it to for their lunch and such. Then there's thefts, yes I've experienced thefts, about like 4 bucks worth a week. So I make around 40 bucks a week assuming I sell well. I've only had 2 weeks that played out where I started with 4 brand new boxes and ended with none. And now because my friends and I have drained the pool of available money I don't get as many sales. If I wanted to though I could go to school with 2 boxes and that manages to get me a lot of sales because people notice the 2 boxes at lunch. I normally would sell about 20 pieces a day but when I brought 2 to school I sold most of the two, which were brand new. Of course if I were to get a job I would continue selling candy. I need money for a really nice set of rave gloves and for my own petty things.

Ugh, My Dad Needs To Rethink Things

So my idiotic dad doesn't get why I'd get annoyed when at 7:30 he tells me to get in the car to get soda. I don't mind us having soda around but we just blow so much money on it every week and he gets mad when I try and cut corners. We buy about 10 or 20 cases a week and it disappears in the same week. It just shows the descent into unhealthiness which is starting to become bad. He literally told me I had to get strictly soda, I couldn't get anything like a case of lemonade because he won't drink it. Well he's not going to drink about 1/2 of the cases we buy anyways because my brother drinks a lot of soda and has friends over a lot. I'm trying not to drink as much soda so I buy things that aren't carbonated and he gets mad at me. My house is just drowning in unhealthiness and any attempt I make to change that gets met with my dad making things worse. I try to go to the store with my dad when he goes so I can buy fresher foods so we don't order out or eat frozen food as much. Because I was sick last week I didn't go to the store and was proud of myself with my giant basement freezer having been half empty for a couple of weeks. Right when my dad gets back with my brother they fill up the freezer. The problem with us buying frozen food isn't just because it's processed food that's not healthy but we just leave it sitting there and when my mom or I stick our heads in the freezer we order out because we don't think we have food. Now I know we have food in the freezer but it's all snack food, my dad doesn't buy stuff fit for a meal. He's just spoiled. When he was in the hospital he only drank soda. When they didn't allow him to drink soda he wouldn't drink anything at all, even to take pills. It's just sickening for me to watch my dad destroy his health and inadvertently cause my brother's and mine to deteriorate also. My brother and I are and have always been the healthiest in my family where we'd go years and be fine. Now my brother and I keep getting sick. But it makes it hard for me to manage my weight and properly build muscle with the little amount of healthy food available for me to eat.

End Of Ze World

So today was supposedly the end of the world according to the Mayan calendar. I have to say I wasn't scared like some kids were. There were bomb threats and even a shooting hit list associated with my school which just shows the stupidity the world is facing at this moment. If I were to have died today I would only truly regret never growing up and getting married to some girl that I fall in love with. I think the end of the world would be interesting and fun though. Just walking around during an earthquake then the ground opens up and you grab onto the edge and just as you get out you get blown by a blizzard to the other side of the crack and washed into it with a tsunami. I think that would be an interesting way to die and I think that's how I'd prefer to die, enjoying a natural disaster. If there were to be a shooting I wouldn't be scared either though. I'd see it as a chance to become a hero and garner a reputation good enough that if I were to ask out the girl I fell for again she may actually say yes. It sounds kinda selfish because people would have died and I'd just see it as a chance for glory though. But I think I would be able to handle a shooter. Most would expect you to run while they shoot at you so when you run at them they'll be surprised. In a situation like the one I'm describing you depend on the surprise you generate to get the gun away from the shooter and either bring the shooter to the ground or get the gun. Oh well though, we're still alive.

Relating to the Rhythm

If there's one thing that's always managed to amaze me is how easily I can relate to songs that I listen to. Now there's always been the dark days where all I listened to was loud and ear breaking music and not really knowing the meaning but I've reached the point in my mental capacity where I interpret everything I listen to. Songs such as Adam's Song where the writer is talking about how lonely he felt while Blink 182 was touring. I always felt connected and learned the lyrics but never took the time to learn what it was that I was singing. I felt it on some level though because the song emanated loneliness to me. To me if I learn a bulk of the lyrics to the song it means I have a connection to it. Another one I've especially connected to is Nocturnal Rainbows which is just Hopsin saying we don't know what's right and wrong and it's defined by society. I've already talked up Nocturnal Rainbows but I'd like to touch on the the subject portrayed in the song again because of recent events. I had a religious argument with a kid on facebook over the morality applied in gay marriage. The one thing I didn't bother to say to him because I saw it as pointless is that we don't know what's true. When you find the "Word of God" in the bible it's not totally his word. Besides that fact that it happened 100 or 200 years prior to being written there's nothing that confirms the accuracy. How do we know that God's "Prophets" even were talking to him and weren't hearing voices. How do we know that what is said "by god" in the bible is what he said and not something else. I've never been in a situation where I've managed to hate a person after talking to them for 30 minutes. But this kid just annoyed the shit out of me and threw me off the edge when he called homosexuality a mental disease only curable by prayer. Never in the fucking past has it been proven that homosexuality or any real disease was cured by prayer. I personally believe it's a matter of genetics because I don't have much control over what turns me on and am pretty sure no one else does. Then the kid goes on to claim the homosexuality is righteous punishment from God for actions we've taken in our lives. Well if that were so then how come some of the nicest people I know are homosexual. It's also not like someone wakes up one day (let's say it's a guy) and because the day before he beat someone up he starts getting boners when he sees some hot guy walking by and then because he's been a good person later on or goes to confession he starts to like girls again. Just all the BS that's created from religion is the major reason for me to have renounced it so long ago.

School Rather Than Drool

The one thing that I've always hated the most is that when I'm sick I miss school. Besides the fact that I actually enjoy school with its many social interactions I also miss a lot of work. In the two days I was gone I missed 3 tests and got behind in my Geography class. In my Physics class though, I didn't miss any of it, I can't focus on work and we have a lab to work on. I was so dazed on Tuesday when we were working on the lab it took me 20 minutes to figure out how to do it right and set my group back. Then we were making graphs in Excel and I ended up using the wrong data.

Westboro No Homo

So you know about the shooting that happened in Connecticut recently that resulted in over 20 children dying? Well I and many people know it's a tragedy but when you see someone protest the funeral, all I see feel is disgust. I found out about the Westboro Baptist Church today from facebook due to something that I read on Cell's page. Besides protesting the funeral for the shooting they are large protesters of gay marriage. Another horrible thing they do is celebrate the deaths of soldiers and protest the funerals held for said soldiers. Soldiers that fight for the country to live, a country these worthless 40 shits live in and overuse the freedom of speech in. Yea, I said there's 40 of them. It was started in Topeka with it's first religious service being held in 1955. It's made up primarily of the leader and his family. But them picketing the funeral is for one of two possible reasons. They're known publicity whores willing to do whatever they can to get attention and protesting something so drastic would bring them attention. The other one is that it may be because of the recent legalization of gay marriage in Connecticut. This hate group, or rather hate family, has been rejected by both major denominations of Baptism. They decided to claim to be of Calvinist and Primitive Baptist belief. They embrace lots of other misconceptions and stereotypes to be the truth. They talk about the Catholic church horribly describing priests and other clergymen to give blowjobs to little boys. They consider all Christian faiths to be like that. But even worse, a group of stupid, ungrateful, homophobic hicks say that Christians are misinterpreting the bible and if it were interpreted correctly they wouldn't be Christian. I haven't read about something so fascist before except maybe comparable to Hitler. They're saying you have to think like them to know what's right which is a load of shit. I don't go around preaching to all my friends about agnosticism and how my interpretation of the bible made me decide to practically renounce religion. My friends don't preach Islam and Catholicism to me saying I have to read their holy books and interpret it their way and then I'll end up following their faith. FUCK THAT. Their just an elitest shovinistic assy group. Ugh, I'm going to post the Cell pic and be done with it.

4M473UR

So I didn't talk about it earlier but my gloves showed up this week. Still an amateur glover, even though I still have a good variety in my moves. I need to practice hand rolls and another trick that I forgot what it's called but call them pushes. The pushes are where you fuck with your fingers and shit. I can do wrist flips or what my brother's fried called figure eights and I can do revolutions. Due to my inability to do hand rolls I've worked on transitioning between simple movements and wrist flips. I do know some pushes though. But I've had 2 light shows and just got mesmerized and didn't even try to analyse what was happening. I've also adopted ideas from watching videos, especially my favorite one Gluttony [PM] Munch. Munch is my favorite Emazing Lights glover and I've tried to adapt moves from watching him glove on youtube. What I never listed was my pass the light routine. In simplicity I just pass the light between the two index fingers which has proven to be a pretty good trick for me to work on. I got that idea from Munch. But, Munch is a very highly skilled and fast glover so I have trouble following what he's doing. I can follow videos like the Blue Dream glove set with Snuggles because he/she gloves slow enough at certain points for me to follow the movements. I would have had a video of me gloving but due to being sick I couldn't have friends over to videotape it. 3 sets at the moment: a glow set where it's my glow gloves with white strobes, green diffusers in the indexes and rainbows on the ringfingers; Crayon set; and Child's Play. My strobes in my glow set are from Crayon and Child's Play though. I also prefer not to use thumbs, they make it harder for me to do my flick tricks with the index fingers.

Favors

I'm probably one of the most generous person when it comes to doing favors for people. As long as I'm in not in a lazy haze and it doesn't cost me money I'll try to do it if I can. Even if it involves biking a couple of miles to go to their house or it may be risky. I don't really care. I don't care when it involves money sometimes though. If it's a favor for a Blue or certain friends and girls I'll do it for them. With guy friends I'll just be like pay me back later, and I say that to some girls too. But there's others like Blue where I'll voluntarily spend 10 or 15 bucks for them. It's just because I'm like a loyal puppy. I'm not going to turn away unless you mistreat me. Being a jack of all trades I'm also quite good at doing favors. I'll do stuff that can cost a couple hundred dollars from a professional that I know how to handle. Stuff like virus cleaning a computer or just fixing it in general. Or fixing up a bike. The bike was partially because I wrecked it but I borrowed it before because I wanted to try to fix the brakes up. Coincidentally it was his bike that I rode down a hill on a camera. Then of course there's girls. Once because I girl was sad I videochatted her and set my nipple on fire on camera. That just shows how I'm a bit manwhorey when it comes to favors for girls. I don't really appreciate getting used by girls for cheap entertainment or so that they can be a little lazier but I don't mind it happening either. But I'll do stuff for friends when I'm sick. I'll do it when I'm in pain. It doesn't irk me. I'm one of the stronger types. Unless I'm really sick.

Still Sick So Excuse The Lateness

Yea, so I'm still sick so please excuse the tardiness on my posts. I've been so busy sleeping I don't really know what time it is during the day. Yesterday I didn't realize it was night until I looked out my window. But I don't have much to say mostly because I still can't focus long enough to share what I'm thinking. I have a different word for it that I think begins with a "C" but I don't remember what it is.

Sickness

I'm sorry that I haven't been posting well and faithfully in the past 2 days. It's because sadly I'm sick and can't concentrate or think of things clearly. My head hurts and I got a bitching cold. I can't even eat stuff, it just hurts and makes me feel weird. I honestly want to puke though, but I can't force myself to eat things. And I had a field trip at school today, it was horrible. I'm the guy that always pushes around my friend that has muscular dystrophy. I almost passed out. Just walking was hard. I was sick enough that I decided to take a giant jug of Tropicana Orange Juice because I needed the vitamin C. I didn't care that it made me look stupid, I just sat at lunch chugging it. But then I'm constipated too, not like it matters. I haven't eaten anything that I can shit out.

-.-

Again, nothing to say. This is really sad and bad.

Nothing to say

Sorry but I have nothing to say to you people today except for this sentence. From being too neglected and forgotten the post was not built.

Viva La Revolution

So I forgot to mention this but I started watching Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution ever since my health class. We were learning about nutrition and watched his T.V. show because they're an exposition of how unhealthy and cheap the school lunches are and how some of the food they give us was originally going to be used for dog food. Jamie Oliver revolutionized school lunches in England. There was some really interesting things and when I watched it all I was thinking was it's anything but white. Hispanic and African Americans have practiced the use of every part of the animal as food so as not to waste. Jews have practiced being the cheapest asswipes they can be. So when I found out that they spin fatty, germ infested beef to get the red meat out of it, then soak it in ammonia to kill germs so we can eat it I was about to puke. They use what's intended to be dog food and feed it to us. Now it's not a 100% deal though. They can only make the ground beef up of at the most 30% ammonia treated meat. But there's a worse side, the ammonia treatment is considered a process so they don't have to list it as an ingredient. Chicken nuggets are worse, I knew that there isn't enough meat on a chicken to use the breasts, wings, thighs, and legs to make nuggets and other ground meat based chicken products so they'd probably use the hunk of 40% bone that's left to make the ground meat. But, I didn't expect it to also include chicken skin and a whole lot of powders. The powder is just so that it'll look and taste like chicken. Yes, I said it correctly. They need to flavor chicken to taste like chicken. It didn't surprise me in most things but when I found out these things I hated it. Then Huntington, West Virginia needs to learn how to diet. I hope that fucked up town has changed and accepted Jamie. This kind of ties in with me though because recently I haven't cooked as much as most of the food we eat is pre-made, ordered, or processed. I've been wanting to get back into cooking but never got around to it so after watching Food Revolution I consider it a waking call to fix up our diets.

The Excitement, So Much To Wait For

So this week is kinda excitement for me. Not much really so I don't understand my title but I have two things I've been waiting for that are coming tomorrow. Well one of them may come on Wednesday. First off, I'm out of Health for the rest of the quarter and have P.E. again. For those of you who don't understand how momentous this is for me I've been behind in my cardio so when I match my 2 or 3 times a week cardio minimum with P.E. I get back into slimming down at the rate I was. Recently I haven't been putting on weight, which I shouldn't be but I shouldn't be losing any, but my stomach's gotten bigger by a little bit because I've been behind on daily exercise. I haven't been behind on my weight lifting, that's really hard to get behind on. The other thing I have to look forward to is that I finally get a legit pair of rave gloves like I've wanted for awhile. I ordered the Child's Play set and the Crayons set from EmazingLights along with a pair of glow gloves and cube diffusers. I got to mess with a legit pair earlier so I learned somethings I didn't know earlier, fixing a couple of misconceptions I had. They should arrive at the latest on Thursday and when I get them I'm just going to lock myself in my bathroom and start gloving. The reason I ordered two sets is because I can do experiments with the diffusers and strobes along with try something I'd been thinking of doing before which was a double glove set. That means 20 lights in the set because there's two to each finger. When I get good enough I'm definitely uploading a video. Give me a couple of weeks to get comfortable with them and I'll have one.

Nigger Ops

So as I've said about 10 posts earlier I got Black Ops II. It's a good game but I have some problems with it. I started playing the campaign and got confused as fuck because not a lot of the guns from the futuristic part of the campaign are used in zombies or I've heard of before. I can always just look at the stats but it's easier for me to already know what the gun's like such as how it reloads, the clip size, the mag size. You know, stuff that's not listed on the stat list. If they had it designed like that I'd wouldn't have that much of a problem with it. Then online play is fucky for me also because I don't know the guns. I know my favorite pistol is the B32R even though there's the Executioner and Python. The other two guns are good but I prefer the B32R because it's a burst type and easier for me to aim and reload. For light machine guns I fancy the Hamr. I don't know much about the other guns though because I haven't had a chance to fuck with them. I wish they had more guns available. I play Tranzit but always die too early.

I Hate My Confusion

So I've been confused as fuck lately. I know she doesn't like me. I honestly know that she doesn't. But all my head ever says is that she likes you. And I keep thinking about her. She's all I can think about now. Shit happened and I now I can't stop thinking of her. Then I have my friend comeover and he plays thinking about you by Frank Ocean and now that song is stuck in my head because I sympathize with that song. Even though I strongly dislike it I do. Only problem is I don't wonder if she thinks about me, I know she doesn't. Then there's another song that I listen to that makes me think of her which is Acting Up by G Eazy. Simply because I keep telling her I'm going to stop doing something but I haven't. That's also part of why I can't stop thinking, I delivered a promise to stop until the end of the school year, a promise I hope to keep. I guess you can call it a pledge. But this time I am going to change and I need to grow up. Another reason why I keep thinking of her when I listen to Acting Up is because I act immature too often. Way more often than I should. If anything she's probably disappointed in me. But she starts making these status updates after I made my promise that confuse the fuck out of me. Like I said, I know that they're not about me but my head keeps saying they are. And yea, I know it's an hour late. I fell asleep and woke up around 12:30. No I didn't forget about the blog.

I Got Nothing

Sadly I have nothing to talk about today and am just making this short, shitty post to keep up with the daily complaint I've kept going for over 200 days.

Is It Depression Or Just Melancholy?

So right now I currently don't know how to deal with my emotions. I don't know if it's depression, or if I'm just stuck in a melancholic trance.  Right now though I can't stop thinking of a certain girl, you all know who it is. I know she doesn't think of me though. But when I think of her I become melancholy. When I'm not thinking of her I'm sad. I'm sad just because well she's not my girlfriend, no matter what happens she'll never be my girlfriend or anything more than a friend for me. Thinking of her just makes me sigh and moan. All I can ever do is moan about her to my friends when I have nothing else better to do. And right now isn't a good time to be in this condition with my dad's return to the hospital. Despite his being a useless sack of shit I still care for him on some level. But this girl, she's going to be in my head forever on. I won't forget her, it's impossible. I'm just well in love. Pure and simple, I'm in love. Something as simple as contact with her brightens up my day. I'm in a better mental position than I was when I started this blog also. When this blog was started I was so deeply depressed over her hating me for my friend's antics. Now I'm in a better state that's deteriorating except this time it's out of loneliness. It's starting to kill me. I have many friends, yes I do. But, I don't have a girlfriend that I love and cherish. Don't think I will find one either, except in her. Oh well, I still prefer to live life day to day.

Alchemy

She took the gun, I looked in strife

She pressed to bone, I wept my wife

The trigger pulled, I grab a knife

But that's not even my sorry life

Yea, so my momma left and daddy's dead

It changed my heart from gold to lead

Saddest thing, they still here

Sitting there to build up fear

One day they will be gone

But to me that's already done

With that large void in my heart

I know I'll always do my part

It's alchemy in the purest sense

Slather emotion it gets more dense

Add on love to even it out

Now hate isn't what you're about

CAUSE IT'S alchemy, alchemy

Grow to love your enemy

learn to lose what you never had

Get something worse or better instead

So there was another change of heart

My parents never played a part

I owe my change to Blue and more

And now my friends I'm totally for

But Blue's been there for awhile

She's not just another piece of the pile

She kicked my heart from lead to gold

And I'll love her even when I'm old

I owe her a life debt I say

Unrepayable even at death I lay

Without her I'd haven't have survived this far

I'd probably be dead with my brain in a jar

It's alchemy in the purest sense

Slather emotion it gets more dense

Add on love to even it out

Now hate isn't what you're about

CAUSE IT'S alchemy, alchemy

Grow to love your enemy

Learn to lose what you never had

Get something worse or better instead

There is one other to attribute my change

With what initially started with pain

Now she is a pleasant friend

But I'll love her to the end

She and I will never be more

But still for her I'm always for

Id give her my life, or take one too

If you're seeing this I'd do anything for you

My love projects an endless bound

But never will it be found

By and but you or Blue

Because for you two my love is true

So this piece of what I fancy to be art I wrote in the car while my dad was doing errands. The first four lines are meant to be an intro because it's intended to be the lyrics to a song. Of course I don't have anything recorded, and even if I were to there'd be no piano, guitar, drums, nothing. It'd just me fucking up 4 or 5 times using a horrible recorder. My life debt is too large of an amount to Blue too. Just doing anything for her would still not be enough. And my one other, hopefully you are reading this, what I said is true. I'd do anything and everything for you. Not to get some favor but because my feelings for you are strong. I may sound like some 2nd grader that thinks he's in love but I'm quite mature for my age. I can attribute that to you and to my troubles within my family. 

Is My Life Falling Apart?

So my brother didn't manage to go to school today. He's had a truancy problem, but it's been fine for the past few weeks. Today, he just couldn't get up, he was ready for school but just couldn't get out the bed. My mom decided to overreact about it and flip out. Now she's threatening to leave, so I'm stuck with my brother and useless dad. Now my brother could manage to help, but even then my dad wouldn't get a job. My mom is what I need for money and so that I don't live as a poor little fucker that has even more to complain about. So now, my brother and I are staying up to clean the house so she can calm down a little bit and quit her bitching. It's honestly starting to piss me off. She freaking says she doesn't want to screw me over or watch me get screwed over because it's not too late for me. I don't think it's too late for my brother, it's definitely too late for my dad. But she says that, and that she doesn't want me to get influenced and screwed up because of anyone in my family, I'm the best set for a good future. But then she threatens to leave, even though she hasn't thought of it she should realize how much that's going to fuck me. I'm going to have to put up with my lazy ass dad who's going to be even cheaper and then my health will deteriorate. I'm not going to be able to get all my cavities filled, still have 4. Doing weightlifting may have to stop because I won't have room for a benchpress in the apartment I'd end up moving into. My social life will get fucked even worse. To think I can't get a girlfriend now, think of what'll happen when I sweet talk one and then when I take her back to me "house" she finds out my room is one I share with my brother and my basement I call a chill pad and kind of brag about when I'm in the mood is nonexistent. It will make me look like shit.

The Lazy Strikes Again

So recently I've returned to a  lazy slump in my life. I sleep a lot during the day. I skip days on lifting weights and pile them up on other days. I don't cook. I stopped running. It's just not good for me. The running I'm going to re initiate soon and only stopped because I never had my basement to myself, so I decided I'd start running a block or two everyday outside rather than running in my basement doing miniature suicides. Piling up weights though is bad, especially on those days I miss out on my cardio workout also. I can go 2 or 3 times a week without cardio but the full week isn't good. My guts started to grow slightly and I gained 2 pounds. But I also don't do my situps either to strengthen my abs. Right now I'm planning on changing around my exercise habits so that I can work my abs a lot better and build up a 6-pack by April. I was watching from videos and they said doing pullups with your legs lifted helps with that. I would but I'm still bad at doing pullups and can only do about 3 or 4 at the most. But this slump is going to end, and should end by the end of the week. Right now though I'm going to sleep because I haven't had any afternoon naps for the past few days because I've had to work on a project for school.

I Require Some GTA

So I've been playing Sleeping Dogs a lot ever since I got it for the XBox with my brother. And I've always loved open world games. When I got Skyrim I played that thing for 2 or 3 hours everyday.  But Sleeping Dogs gives you so much more opportunity in my opinion. I enjoy playing the game. So now I want to build a collection of open world games that are similar to GTA including GTA. I want all of the True Crime, GTA, Saints Row, games and any other's like them. It's just so fun. Right now I haven't focused much on ranks except cop rank in Sleeping Dogs. All I care about is getting money. Currently my cop level is I believe 8 while my face level is 4 and my triad level is 3. I only even worked on my face level so I can buy all the cars and clothes that I want. I spend most of the time on the game stealing cars and doing drug busts so it worked well. At one point I had close to 2 million to spend. But then I went and bought 6 cars along with all the clothes from 5 different stores. It was kinda interesting. Like seriously though, I only do jobs for Tran. No jobs for Raymond, mostly cause they pay shit, and barely any other jobs in general. I did all the drug busts because I wanted to get the cop move that lets you take guns out of the backs of the cars, imagine how disappointed I was when I found out that I can only get shotguns. They're nice and all but not my forte. Then I got most of my face level from the drug busts I did. Right now I have 2 A class motorcycles and a whole bunch of B class vehicles. What I did was rack up a whole bunch of cash then go to dealerships and buy everything, worked out pretty well.

Ahahaha Van Wilder

I'm a giant and dedicated fan of National Lampoon. I'm also a fan of American Pie. It's simple really, it's because they're all movies about Sex, Drugs, and Alcohol and funny as shit. So anyways, I'm wandering around in the vast library of Netflix and see Van Wilder: Freshman Year. Now I've seen this thing about 20 or 30 times already, it's one of my favorite movies, but I haven't seen it for a couple of months. I just rediscovered my love for these movies. I'm going to watch the rest of National Lampoon movies on Netflix and then rewatch all of American Pie from the first one to Reunion. It's going to be a great exploration of interest. And I think I know what to do. Have my friends Chentos_98 over and McDonalds, yes I realize I'm still using the stupidest nicknames ever, and watch all of them through the night. Be loaded up on monsters and enjoying the night. It'll be perfect I tell you. Perfect.

Ugh, Motherfucking Projects

So I'm working on a project with my friends. And we have a delicate system, we goof off for 6 hours then work on the project for one in the morning. And today was a bad time to. We have the project due next week and it's a big part of my grade, what the fuck are we going to do? We're going to be fucked. We spent half the time looking for a tri-board rather than working on the project, then went to Taco Bell. Just funny, who needs to do the work? But oh well, this wasn't intended to be a long post, just couldn't think of anything else to write.

Jokerring Around

So I was messing around on my computer and listening to the "Ill Mind of Hopsin V" and started listening to the parodies, remixes, and responses. Just to say now, the new Youtube is a piece of shit and I'd like to know a way to revert it back to the previous layout. But after listening to the "Real Mind of Mysonne" I clicked on the "Kill Mind of Hopsin" by Ludi Mofo. On the related links for that video was a diss by this horrible rapper, in my opinion, named The Jokerr. And he is HORRIBLE. I can say he's great at making videos on a low budget, but his music is stupid. He's the biggest hater rapper I've seen so far. And despite his greatness Hopsin is a pretty big hater. The only difference between the two is Hopsin releases singles and doesn't make them all about hating on people except "Kill Her" while all that I've seen by Jokerr are him hating. He just starts beefs, like what the fuck? He has no reason to hate on SwizZz (it was the diss video I was watching) and doesn't even express hate, he tells him that SwizZz lives in Hopsin's shadow. Well guess what Jokerr? SwizZz is signed to a label and better know than your dumbass. He's a much better rapper also. I'll give Jokerr props for his Funk Volume rip, but some of the stuff I heard in it I'm pretty sure was BS. He's just a horrible rapper and makes himself look stupid by dressing up like a wannabe juggalo and then ripping on them. Then there's a beef with Tech N9ne he tried to start, that failed. Tech N9ne isn't the best rapper in my opinion but he's not a bad rapper. Tech N9ne is really good.

Why The No Loverboy?

So my "avid readers" you're probably wondering why I haven't posted recently about some lovesickness I'm suffering or some girl I dream about now. Well one, I decided talking about girls on this wasn't really the best idea. I decided to try something different and just not mention her on here, not talk to her so as not to get into being good enough friends that dating is out of the question. So I decided I'd evaluate me and some of my better friends and how we are in our love lives. For me I'm the lovedrunk fool, or as one of my friends says, the manwhore. I jump from liking one girl to another faster than a drug dealer and clients. Every couple of weeks it's some new girl to be head over heels for. Well there's always one girl to be there for, but I'm not going to turn this post into a babble about her. Then my other friend is the loverboy. He doesn't think of other girls, he just likes one. He doesn't really talk about other girls either. He's loyal, like a dog. Then my other friend I'll mention is the slut. He doesn't care what it is that he's with as long as he's getting some and it's not a relationship. He's had a relationship before, and after it all he could think is WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE WANT A RELATIONSHIP. And before anyone suggests it, no Blue isn't one of them. I'm talking about my guy friends and she's somewhere in-between. The reason why I call her my brister, or my sother.

Hahaha, My "Wicked Ways"

So one of my more popular posts, Adalia Rose and Her Retarded Progeria, got a comment yesterday. I didn't notice because when I check for comments I don't go to a comments tab, I go to the overview and that post is a couple months old. But to summarize it, I talk about the situation Adalia Rose is in and then complain about the people that are beating up on Cell, my favorite facebook personality. She tells me that I'm apparently full of hate and have wicked ways. Well I can tell Bailey Strobel she can suck my fucking dick. Even if that were accurate my post doesn't reflect that. I don't mock Adalia Rose. The only hate in the post was me mocking the people making fun of Cell. And then apparently it's mean? How the fuck? It's saying her mom needs to be reviewed by Child Services because Adalia was being exploited. Then she tells me she hopes I find happiness, fuck that. Besides the fact that I'm quite happy and was rounding near to being happy during Summer, it's not all that great. I found happiness, and I have it plenty, so she can go fuck herself. Then my "wicked ways?" Screw that. I've never been that sadistic, I have the potential but I ignore it mostly. I do follow the destructive path of my brother and his friends though. My friends and I've done such retarded and crazy things in the past year I can't remember them all. My sadism has been repressed but it was in bounty last year, key word is was. Then she tells me I should be ashamed because I said a girl needed help. This chick needs to watch what she says, because in my opinion she gave her support to the exploitation of children with fatal diseases. Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for exploitation of others, but to exploit a diseased little girl is a lot different. Doing something such as that is just plain wrong and if I were to stoop so low I would have no reason to live.

The Headaches I Get

My dad is the biggest irritant in the world. If I were to grow up and develop some type of irritant for chemical warfare I'd call it "Papa T Scratch Gas" because of how annoying my dad is. He just irritates me. Annoys me to an uncountable extent. For example, today at the store. It's on the way home and my brother's with us and he walks home from the store while I stay back to go in. I thought I was going in by myself because my dad was telling me where stuff is (even though I know where it is he's just a prick) but then he's going in with me. Then when I ask if he still needs me he's like, yes. I asked him for what, he just goes I need you. And he decided to go in with me because he doesn't trust me for no reason. He tells me I have to spend my own money on stuff that's personally mine. Well when I use his money, wait not his money my mom's money cause he's unemployed, to buy stuff that's personally mine it's cause it's for lunch. He gets mad at me for getting energy drinks, well I'd get a 4 pack of monsters a week and share it with my brother for when I need that boost. I use it for school, so he's saying I have to pay to do well in school. He's the one who puts a giant value on grades, well maybe if he let me get the monsters I would be more attentive in class. Atleast my math class, the other ones I'm fine in. Most of the time when we go to the store though he buys a shitload of snacks that only he eats. Or other people eat them but he won't share. He literally gets mad at people for eating it. There's other shit also. I'm selling candy at school and make a profit from it. But I leave the opened box I'm using in my living room on a recliner with the rest of my stuff for school. He ate some of my candy, well aware that it was mine and that I'm selling it, and when I asked him to pay for it he said no. I paid for it already, and he says no. On Halloween he wanted me to give candy from my box to the neighbor girl and refused to pay for it then also. The worst part is, he got mad when I said I wouldn't give it to him. It's cause of him that I lost 5 bucks. He's just an assholey prick. He feels entitled to spend other people's money but won't let people spend other people's money. He needs to get smacked. He's just a little kid that's been spoiled because technically he's an adult. But I'd like to see him living in an apartment by himself without any financial support from my mom and support his lifestyle. And no, my parents aren't divorced although it seems that way in this post. My dad get's disability checks because he's too lazy to get a job. He prefers to sleep all day. We had to write a persuasive essay in class where it's why a family member should be awarded with something. I awarded my dad with "Laziest Sack of Crap". And the things I used to support it seemed like I was exaggerating, but no I wasn't. I left out stuff also. He's just a waste of space. Spends all his time awake on facebook spouting crap no one cares about and considers it work. But when he has to do actual work, like take a car in to get serviced or schedule appointments he's too busy. He uses facebook as a crutch.

Wub Wub Wub

I've gotten into a dubstep phase. It started with my brother's friend showing me gloving, and when I watch the gloving videos I started listening to the music also.  Right now I can't stop listening to Datsik and need to add it to my phone. He's a pretty nice mixer, and my favorite so far is the Barrron Remix of Firepower. Then there's ones like "Too Late to Say No" that I can't get out of my head. It's helping me with my creative ability also. I just start thinking of stuff I can spit to some of the beats that I start to listen to. A song that's not by Datsik that I like is Knife Party's "Fire Hive". The music just pulls me in. It gives me a want to try to mix my own like I've done before.

I Ain't Got No Balls

I ain't got no balls

Yea I ain't got no balls

Bad bitches make me fall

While I sit an spit at yall

I actually got some balls

But they ain't the ones I want

So until further notice niggas I ain't got no balls

Yo! I ain't got balls

But nigga I'm a boss

Standing proud and tall

But missing my two balls

I can't ask a bitch out

But I can scream and shout

I'll fight you to the death

But bitch forget the rest

Cause I ain't got no balls

Bitch you got two balls

The biggest of them all

Just cause you got no girl

 Cuz dem bitches make you hurl

Don't mean you got no balls

You stubborn as fuck

Got that bastard luck

Now go bust a nut

And shut the fuck up

Homie I ain't got no balls

Cause ladies are my fall

Everything else is badass 

Muthafucka fuck em all

The ladies took my balls

Had them many days

So all I do is sit here 

and then I say

I ain't got no balls

Yea I ain't got no balls

Bad bitches make me fall

While I sit an spit at yall

I actually got some balls

But they ain't the ones I want

So until further notice niggas I ain't got no balls

At least you would run drugs

And hang out with the thugs

Don't need no bitch for tugs

See I ain't got that all

Cause I ain't got those balls

Nigga you got those balls

Now sit down shut up and enjoy the song

See you got them balls bitch

So stop whining nigtits

Just ask out that bitch

And then be done with it

If she says no

Then she's a hoe

But for the time being nigga just sit back, take a hit, and blow

Bitch I got the balls

The baddest of them all

Hoes come to my call

Cause they all know I'm raw

Niggas fuck you all

You always sayin naw

But until further notice niggas I GOT DEM BALLS

I started this thing in the shower, a place of many wonders, and ended it 5 minutes later out of it. Obviously the last part is bullshit, I don't get bait, atleast bait I want. But a lot of it is pretty accurate. I'm ballsy enough to do a lot of things but when it involves a girl I'd be better off not thinking about it. I just don't have the courage to ask a girl out, even over facebook. Well I can over facebook but that's after I get pushed to it or I just think, what the fuck why the hell not. And even then facebook doesn't count as asking a girl out. It's not face to face and it's a pussy move. Plus there's a better chance if it's face to face because she gives you credit for the fact that it's face to face. Not over facebook or through a text.

I Enjoyed Black Friday

So I really enjoyed Black Friday, not just because it allowed me to embrace my inner Jew. We went to the mall by my house, along with HHGreg. HHGreg was interesting, we didn't get anything there but we sure did looking. We were there for an Android Tablet that cost 50 bucks, when we found out where it was (Matress Center) it was out of stock. My brother and I had originally planned to be line hoppers but when we saw people getting shunned we went to the back, about a quarter mile from the store. I just sat there suggesting things to do, like tackle a guy that walked out of the store carrying a 40 inch or something in his arms by himself. There was some serious entertainment though, watching people argue over who got in the store first. It really opened my eyes to how materialistic people are. There was a girl that looked about 9th grade that I thought was going to cry because she might not get a giant T.V. At first I thought the people were arguing over exercise equipment though because both groups were fatasses. The mall was more interesting, I had been walking around airing out my shoulder (meaning I had a sleeveless on) and in shorts. I got stares for it. There was a group of faggots, 2 Asians and a scrawny white guy, laughing at me for it. I was about to turn around, flip them off, and call them pussies. And we had an interesting adventure. I went to Walmart because I'd intended to watch the chaos of employees walking out and provide chaos by shoving people into stands and aisles, but instead I bought a watch. Then my brother and I decided we'd go to Hot Topic, got a Mac Miller shirt. Then we went to Gamestop, it was going to be crowded because the line was so long it was intersecting another line for Victoria's Secret. I was surprised at how much we spent. Got 8 games total. Black Ops II, I play mostly party games; Oblivion; Bioshock; Crysis 2; Sleeping Dogs; Fallout: New Vegas; The Witcher II; and Dishonored. We ended up meeting up with my brother's girlfriend, who I've decided to be nicer to, and went to Spencer's. I love that fucking place, it surprised me when I found a stand dedicated to dildos though. I got a new Wiz Khalifa wallet while my brother got a rasta one. It was a pretty interesting night. There was more shopping, but for me that part was dull. Really, really dull. But my brother got me a sleek fox hat from Pacsun.

BLAH BLAH BLAH

So happy Thanksgiving BLAH BLAH BLAH, all that shit. I honestly don't get the point of even celebrating Thanksgiving. Not a lot of people see it for the idea of saying thanks, especially with this generation of rude assholes, but as the time of year you eat a turkey and go out at 12:00 in the morning for sales. And I don't have shit to be thankful for, I hate Thanksgiving. Maybe I can be thankful for Blue and my friends along with my current happiness. But weighed against all the crap I've suffered it's still not enough. It's like comparing a cow to a whale. And a lot of people don't have much to be thankful for. No I'm not talking about those whiny kids that when they don't get what they want they cry but are spoiled any other way. I'm talking about those people that go off to war and lose a limb and only have a medal to say thank you for the sacrifice. To the families that lose people to the war and all they have to commemorate it is a medal from the government that sent the mother or father to his or her death. Or the people that live on the streets. What are they going to be thankful for? Living in a shit hole country that only pays attention to the rich. Who treats soldiers under a certain rank like cannon fodder. But I still am quite thankful to have Blue in my life and always having her there for me. Same with a lot of my friends. And most of all my brother who's been there for me when I need help, who teaches me to fight, who pushes me to my limits. My parents can go fuck themselves though. My dad is a useless sack of shit and my mom is a stupid bitch. And also I see Thanksgiving as a holiday that celebrates when we began kicking the Native Americans off of their own land. Screw America.

FEEL THE BURN!!

So my brother started coaching me in more than just boxing and wrestling. Speaking of that I haven't practiced knocking the wind out of someone but I do practice punching to that if I were to get in a fight I don't destroy my knuckles. But he made me embody the words "Feel the burn". When I stopped it wasn't because I wanted to, it's cause I had to. My shoulder was about to tear and I could feel the fibers pulling apart with a sharp pain in it. He started me off on 100, where I pushed half way up before he had to spot. His version of spotting is really different from the usual. Rather than pulling it up all the way like most people would he uses 2 fingers on each hand and pushes lightly so that it still benefits me. On 90 I did 1 unassisted and 1 assisted. With 80 I managed 5 before I needed help, 2 helped ones. 70 I got to 9. 60 I did around 12 or 13. 60 is where it got to being easy and I did about 17. Then until I reached 30 I did 20 each. Pretty good workout, my arms are still wobbly and I have a problem with holding a cup. I know that by the end of winter break my arms are going to have doubled in size. And hopefully by then I'll have a six pack to accompany it, I just need to increase the amount of cardio I do.

The Nocturnal Rainbow

So I've been listening to Hopsin, well I always do but at a higher rate than I normally do, and one of my favorite songs started to leave a mark on me. Nocturnal Rainbows. It's because it embodies my supreme reason for skepticism. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S REAL. I never do. Especially on days like today where everything's been up and down. My whole day has been in shambles. Right now I don't know whether I'm supposed to be expecting something either. For ups, SSX showed up along with other things. For downs, I'm pretty sure the girl I currently like is into some guy I despise. I just have so much shit to be down on, but just as much shit to be up on. I'm definitely going to be playing SSX all night though. By all night I mean I'm taking a nap after I finish this post and when I get up I get in my basement with a case of soda and hopefully enough snack food until I feel tired again. And then I'll have my laptop down there too. Hooked up with my super speaker that I got for 20 bucks. It's my iHome speaker with killer bass. I call it super speaker because it's really powerful for a 20 dollar speaker. But as I said earlier. I never know what's real or not. Especially since I've been BSed by so many people recently. A girl I formerly liked. A couple of my friends. And some other person I won't name because he/she may be reading this. No, it's not Blue. And even worse, I don't know what I think is really what I think. I'm so unsure of myself right now I could become a cultist like that. That says something because I'm not stupid enough to even let a cult talk to me.

The Mail Is A Bastard

So I bought stuff on Amazon, something I do every couple of months, but this time it's different. I bought a panda hat for Blue and SSX, a beast as fuck snowboarding game, for me. Now the panda hat showed up, it showed up on Saturday, but SSX still hasn't. They were supposed to ship together and everything, but still hasn't shown up. Hopefully it shows up tomorrow because I'm really psyched to play it. I've been waiting to play it for awhile. With just the demo I played it for 6 hours straight trying to get gold on it. Then it was played for 6 hours straight the next 2 weeks daily. Then I got tired of only coming up silver. I was just a couple seconds off of gold 2 times. TWO TIMES. Just watch, SSX got lost in the mail. It'd be the first time that's happened to me.

I've Had An Epiphany

I've happened upon a serious epiphany in the shower tonight. I realized what was in common between all the girls that I like besides them being Hispanic. THEY ARE THE "GOOD GIRL" ARCHETYPE. I happen to like to corrupt people. Not intentionally, I just realized it. I honestly don't know whether to feel good or bad about it though. But my best friend, male one, and a couple of my other guy friends. They've all been corrupted by me and prior to getting to be friends with them they had been somewhat good people. Or atleast behaved better. I just need to corrupt I guess. And I can exert influence when I want to. I'm pretty sure my need to corrupt is shared with my brother also. He has a high level of influence with his friends and has really corrupted his current girlfriend. I can't say I've corrupted Blue though. When I initially met her she appeared to be such a good and innocent little girl. Then when I started to talk to her more I realized that she had her own seed of evil sown in her. Basically I didn't need to corrupt her to my way of thinking, she already has one.

I Love The Night

If there's one thing I love is the night. Not just being in my room late at night and to myself but because of what I can do outside at night. I LOVE THE NIGHTLIFE. Of course I don't go out and pound shit and party, besides the fact that I don't know where to find those I wouldn't want to go because of what might happen. But just wandering around at night. I go out at 9:00 when I have friends over and just walk around for an hour. I'm fooling around at night of course. Last night I was going around with my white mask and brother's fedora on and would randomly start gangnam styling. And I mean serious messing around. I went around in a shopping center dancing around in the middle of the street and getting looks. I had a reason to wear the mask. Then in April I get a field trip to Virginia Beach and it'll be even better. We're going to analyze waves and stuff at the beach so we'll probably be staying on the Boardwalk, which has one of the best nightlifes nearby. I'd try to sneak out of the hotel we're staying at around 9:00 and go on rides and such. They have some pretty sweet rides. There's also bait to get, not just whores at night but bitches on the beach. If there's one thing that gets chicks is where you're wearing a fedora, sandals, khaki shorts, and a tank top or beach shirt while you're ripped. I'm close to being ripped well enough. Just another couple of months and I got a six pack. What adds to it more is smoking cigarettes and just sitting on the beach. I honestly don't like the idea of smoking to look cool, but on the beach I might as well. Who knows? Maybe I'll get a couple of numbers and hook up with some chick over facebook. A chick that lives near me. Then I've gotten a girlfriend that doesn't go to the same school as me. I only say this because I'm going on the trip connected to a program at my school that's available to students at other schools.

GAMING TO THE MAX

I got my friend Chentos over, "chentos_98" if you want to find him on PS3, and he brought Black Ops II. We planned to have 6 hours straight of gaming and then work on a project, and so far all I've seen is Zombies Transit. I really wish that I bought the game now, even though I didn't have all the money to spare for it. I still need to try Nuketown 2025, but if it's as good as Transit I can't wait.  And yes, this is going to be a short post. All it's about is the little of Black Ops II that I've played so far.

My Bad Luck Aura Knows No Bounds

So if there's one thing I have an effect on everything I own eventually breaks. My relatively new speaker already has a broken piece and my laptop that's only about a year old now has a broken hinge. When I went to fix the hinge it disconnected my screen from my laptop. So I ended up spending 2 hours trying to reattach the screen. Then I screwed over the casing also. It's all loose and floppy, more than it was before. And I'm worried I may have scratched something on the inside because I had to use a knife to pry open the casing. My biggest problem though was getting out the screws rather than attaching the screen. But now my laptop is screwy as fuck. And I could always go to get it repaired, but for 70 bucks. And it would be pointless because the hinge is the only thing I need to fix and it'll just detach again later.

Come On Bitch FIGHT!

So today I enjoyed myself by provoking an asshole in my French class. There was no fight, but there was definitely some threatening that I got. Basically he likes to act like a little kid and boasts of being "the best in the class". One day I said in my normal voice that all he's saying is that he thinks he's stupid and needs to reassure himself he's smart by repeating it. Which is what he was doing, connection made by basic psychology. He didn't hear me, but if he did he'd try to start shit. I know for a fact that he atleast acts like he's tough shit, I'm pretty sure he thinks that also. But then today I enjoyed myself even more because we had a sub for a second time. He was playing his music without headphones loudly all class and then would complain about hearing someone else's music even a little. I'm sitting on the other side of the classroom listening to my phone at it's lowest with my friends, and all he could do was complain and tell me to stop because he doesn't like my music. Now I didn't say anything, not one of those guys, but I eventually got annoyed. He later said that the next time he hears someone else's music he's going to hit them or something along the lines. Sadly that was right before the teacher told us we had to use headphones now. Then people were telling me to turn up my music. Now I would've, but I don't need to get in trouble with the teacher. I just said naaa. Then he said that he thinks I'm annoying, and I'm like "Me?". After he said, yea you I said yay. I like pissing you off. Then he goes I'd like to see what you say about that after school. So I respond by mocking him, I literally press my cheeks together with my hands and in a little girl voice I go "I'm so scared". It made some laughs, I enjoyed it. Now the words that were traded aren't exact for me, I didn't pay attention up until the point that I mocked him. But when I got home I asked my brother about fighting, and he showed me wrestling moves. He also showed me Muay Thai moves such as how to easily dodge a hit and knock the air out of the person. Basically, if the guy throws a punch I get up knock the air out walk back and poke them. Then as they fall I wave and smile. But I learned two methods for wrestling, I also need to practice judo throws. I don't have anyone to teach me them but basically I grab their arm after I duck a swing at my head, turn, and yank. Then when he's on the floor after I smacked him onto it I get on top of him and hit him in the face a couple of times. Or I just stomp his stomach, either way would work. And they're all simple techniques that aren't that hard to get the hang of, you just have to know them. There's also that if those 4 choices fail I can just beat the shit out of him. No hits to the face but to the gut so there's no marks. Practicing boxing and knowing technique to it will eventually pay off.

Video Addiction

Of everything I've been allowed to experience in my relatively short life I have a serious addiction to videogames. I drink about 2 energy drinks a week along with about 5 cups of coffee a week, but no caffeine addiction. I do so much stupid stuff when I'm bored, which is a lot, and it puts my life at risk, yet no, I'm not an adrenaline junky. I do call myself one though, but I can go without almost getting hit by cars for a couple of weeks and not care. But with videogames, I can't stop playing them. Not on a console, but on my computer. I have an Xbox and it's good and all but I prefer a computer because I've only had an Xbox for a year. Even though I like shooters and have a lot of them, I prefer tactitionary and semi-comedic games. Right now I've been playing XCom non stop, so alien fighting game. It sounds like a shooter, but you do squad warfare and disperse them out with factors like cover and hit chance clearly visible to you. It's also turn based. Then there's Dungeons of Dredmor. It's a jokey, turn based, rpg. And I mean really jokey, there's stuff like diggles, werediggles, pirate stats, etc. As for flashgames I've gotten into business ones like Swords & Potions and Jacksmith. Swords & Potions is really simplistic, you're a merchant and own a store. You tell people what to craft and it's a time-based game. There's the purchasable upgrades available to you that you use real cash for, no I don't do stuff like spend my money to improve in a game I may forget about. Jacksmith is crafting. Simple as that.

Originality, I See You But Can't Touch You

So as you know, I'm a sucky amateur glover. And I've been thinking about how to revamp my costume. I honestly should be getting a pair of gloves, currently looking at the pre-made "Gluttony" set by EmazingLights. But I started looking at pictures of one of my brother's glover friends and realized how unoriginal my costume is. Like, it fits together, but most glovers make their own. All I did was buy stuff online and put it on, played out. What I did notice though is that they all have something seen in every getup, that's accompanied by other stuff. There's one guy named Max Hatter that wears a giant hat in every pic, then the one I personally know wears a giant Cat Head all the time. They have an Alice In Wonderland theme going on. But I'd be "The Mask" because I'd have masks that I wear accompanied by hats. Then came the ingenious and original idea. Buy a sock monkey hat and a panda hat(Blue wanted one so it was in my head) and cut them in half and sew the halves together. Only problem is that they're wool so it'd be pretty complicated to do. But my white mask goes well with a fedora, and I can always wear a fedora with it and a panda hat. I still need to work on the originality aspect. The white masks cost me 5 dollars each and I can paint them. Blue gave me that idea. So either way I'm buying hats and acrylic paint to decorate my costumes. Then for the shirt I can wear my LED, accompanied by a whole bunch of EL wire or something. Or a tank top with EmazingLights on it. I could also go for "Pandaized" and build a custom glove set for it. (Blue gave me the panda theme altogether) Basically I get the mask and paint the black marks on it and wear the panda mask. Then my gloves will be black and white lights, yes there are black lights, and I'd practice tricks that utilize the coloring. I could have a mask to go with each hat, but I still don't know. Right now I only have two masks to use, both of which are white. If I go fedora I'd paint stuff on the mask still though to fit the fedora. Go for a mobster look.

The Block Strikes Back

So I obviously jinxed myself when I had the post, "Writer's Block Lifted". I keep forgetting to write, or can't think of shit to write about. I've had stuff to write about also, but haven't done it. It's because I've just bitch bitch bitched about it too much in the past so my fire's dwindled out and died. Prepare for 11:30 posts that are going to be barely a paragraph. Prepare for a shitload of pictures to makeup for me not having as much content in my posts. Prepare for random babbles that you have to wait a month for and wade through the incoherent boringness the rest of the month.

All The Fucking Frustration

So today I got into an argument over how well I know people in general and whether I really do know what I think I know about human nature. It was frustrating the fuck out of me because I was talking to a girl I like. I just didn't want to argue. But I just need to say this. I DO KNOW HUMAN NATURE. I got an ability to see what people think, just not when it concerns me. She goes, it only applies to people that you know well enough, girls do that with their friends all the time. I guessed who a guy liked without knowing him that well just from 2 notions. I notice things with how people smile around them, and how they act differently. I was so frustrated I didn't mention it to her, but I can just look at people and know. I got a high level of spiritualism, and it applies to this. The spiritualism boosts my intuitive abilities, something I didn't mention to her. But she was just fighting with me over it. It wore me out soooo, sooo fucking much.

Well I'm Sorry

I would like to formally apologize to anyone I may have insulted or offended through my blog. Only apologizing because the girl that I am the practical bitch of ended up reading my blog. Downside is it's cause she was bored. But she didn't like that I said she ain't got no ass, even though I shouldn't have been writing about her butt in the first place. She also didn't like my "rap" about marijuana. I actually understand why she didn't like them though, seriously the chorus used "Pussy Pussy Marijuana" for the first line. But it got me to thinking, I've probably offended or insulted a lot of people. Now to most people I probably intentionally insulted you, but with her I didn't. So let me rephrase it, I would like to formally apologize to anyone I UNINTENTIONALLY may have insulted or offended. Because those that were unintentionally done harm are not the ones I planned to target through my blog. I don't care if I pissed off some asshole that's overly patriotic about Canada but cares about American politics too. He can go fuck himself. Just like how I don't care that I insulted my brown friend that I refer to by so many degrading names it stopped being funny. But the viewers that I actually care to keep, or care for on a level of endearment, I would hate to have scared you away. Now the girl I like obviously only read my blog out of sheer boredom, but I would like to keep my viewers and know that I have an audience that's paying attention. This blog has helped me express my feelings and relieve stress, along with work on my creative/artistic side with stuff like writing raps, poetry, or songs. But I honestly hoped that maybe someone that is at the same point in life as me would read my blog and realize they aren't the only ones. That they probably have/ had it better off than me. The reason I say had is because my life has slowly improved, which has led to less content in these posts. These posts could use some serious improvements now that I think about it. Besides that I've stopped putting in pictures as much I run out of topics so I babble about random, unimportant shit too much. For christ's sake I made a rap about screwing a girl while smoking a whole bunch of marijuana. So just for shits and giggles I'm going to put a whole bunch of random pics of marijuana because I've said the word marijuana about 6 or 7 times in this post. That's because the word marijuana is going to be up and coming soon now that Obama was been elected for a second term. I heard that on the night of the election, once it was decided, three states legalized marijuana for any use, not just the medical use of marijuana. See that? I just made the word marijuana used more around 12 or 13 times.