Blanks

I'm lost in thought but my mind flashes blanks
Fires in the dark but I'm stuck insane
The flare from the blast is nothing to see
It's all in my head I'm crazy but free
Free from this world but not from my mind
Running too fast so I can't tell the time
I only stand still just for a moment
And in those few seconds everything's morbid
Everything's dark, scary, and big
I tend to sit and think about what I did
But those thoughts trail off and I'm back to the start
My mind's flashing blanks, so I never travel far

My mind's just a road, a track with no end
Most people run but I'll walk til' I'm dead
No light at the end but a flare from a gun
I'd stare right at it cause I know that I'm done
I get lost in thought and shot back to life
I get stuck thinking if what I did was right
With my habit of running my mouth
I couldn't really tell when things went south

So my mind's flashing blanks but I can still see
I may be blinded but it's clear to me
Clear what to do even though I don't do it
Cause I'll say my words but not follow through it
The blanks paint a picture even though they're not there
The light that was left is leftover fear
The pain and disgust that I feel today
Is just from the blank that I fired away

Now as I said, on my bucket list is to record and make a mix tape. There's two problems with that, my "raps" are more of constant rambling with no repeated verse and sometimes they don't even tie together in the verse they're in. I could probably make a good set of songs though, somehow, only problem is I don't have any music to spit it to, much less proper equipment to record it. I could, no I should, talk to some people about getting my hands on that. Have someone mix a track or two for me. But eh, I'm still nervous as to what people I know may think, people that don't read this.