I Can't Help But Feel Sad

I hear people saying that they have such horrible love lifes, all I can do is laugh at their self-pity. I have a horrible love life. I chase after a girl that despised me for 3 months. My first and only girlfriend is over the internet and may be dead. I'm into girls that don't return the feelings. And I'm pretty sure that any girl that is into me I'm not going to be into. But why can't I help but feel sad? Cause I did the stupidest thing and told a girl that I love her and now she won't talk to me. It was foolish and I don't want to go into. I mean it's somewhat good because I have a close to none appetite, but it's very bad also. I'm not in the mood for anything. I'm lazy and just don't want to do crap. Like shit, my stuff from Emazing Lights came and I was messing around with the L.E.D. shirt that I got. I can have temporary euphoria, but nothing lasts me more than a couple of minutes. I got my punching bag also. It doesn't help. I just feel dead inside and nothing picks me up from it long enough to last. I mope. All I can ever do is mope and wallow in my self-pity. I just wish she could at least talk to me. Tell me to leave her alone. She won't even do that. And I had high hopes. I got friends telling me she does like me and just won't say it. I mean she tells me someone asked her out and that she hasn't told him an answer yet. That's like saying, please say something to me to give me a reason to turn him down and be with you. And I appreciate her looks. I could care less if she didn't wear makeup unlike some guys. And yes, a girl's complexion can get screwed up enough that she feels the need for a thin layer of makeup. But it's love for me. Love makes you ignore any problems with who you love that's set out before you. Just like how love can make you happy from seeing them and sad when they've only been gone for a second. Obviously she doesn't feel the same, but I'm going to keep pursuing her. And if there's anything it's that when I keep listening to the same songs over and over again it's because I identify with them. I let music that's already been made express me when I don't feel like I can. In particular right now I have Acting Up by G Eazy Ft. Devon Baldwin; Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus; and Take Care by Drake Ft. Rihanna stuck in my head. Acting up expresses how I'd act immature which she'd look down on at points. Teenage Dirtbag is self explanatory, cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag that isn't worthy of her. That's not just my thoughts, I'm pretty sure those are hers. And Take Care is to stimulate the idea in my head that maybe she does like me, but is just too afraid that I'll end up hurting her in the end so is unwilling to be anything more.