My Love Life In Shambles

So... yea it's another one of these dreary posts about me liking girls and stuff. I've done them so much I need to think about the title to make sure I didn't already use it. But like it's not exactly in shambles, but screwed up for me. Let's see I love 2 girls, well three but one is more like a sister to me, and I like 2 girls. Of 2 girls I love one could be dead and even if she were it wouldn't matter cause she lives in California. The other one hated me for 3 months and then starts talking to me all nice and normal, I talked to her a lot over the summer, then she doesn't go to the same school as I do anymore cause she felt like it was making her dumber. I won't give clues about to who the 2 girls I like are even though some people, most of the people I know read this blog often enough, do know. But back to love. The one that changed to a different school really has an effect on me. I compare looking at one of her pictures to being nigh or drunk. For those of you that don't know me when I saw nigh it means nice and high. I mean I see her, even a small pic on facebook, I just can't help but smile and feel a weird tingling in my face. I mean it feels weird for me to grin, I don't do it in the same type of way I do with her. And because I have her beauty permanently etched into my memory I see her whenever I close my eyes. And when I see her from memory I start to smile. I just feel nice when I look at her. And I've decided there's a good chance I'm going to ask her out to homecoming at my high school cause I have encouragement from two people to do so. I've only asked her out once and got shot down, but I'm not one of those ballsy retards that asks a girl out 6 times. Then again that was a month ago. And I know how to do it also. I mean I can be romantic and sweet, but I don't do a lot of that. But I decided I'll make a portrait of her, something that will take a lot of effort to make a good one cause I suck at portraits, and send it to her asking her out to homecoming. And homecoming is supposed to be a month away so I need to practice. And maybe, when she sees how much effort I put into it, she'll say yes. I mean like I have an eye for detail, but portraits are some of the hardest pieces of art to make. Especially with undeveloped talent for making them like mine.