Happy Halloween

Yes, FINALLY IT'S FUCKING HALLOWEEN! Halloween is one of my favorite days of a year for more than the reason that it's free candy. Especially since I'm too old to go trick or treating now. But I'm never too old to cause havoc and reap mayhem. I was going to go see a horror movie with my friends, but that plan fell apart because of the one of the 2 friends I was going to see it with had to bail. But, things are still good. I wasn't so sure if I wanted to see a movie anyways because I only have about 30 bucks, and when I go to the movies I spend 20. I don't need to spend 20 bucks every year to celebrate a holiday. Back to the mayhem though, I plan to go around scaring little kids. I got a fricking white mask and snapback to cover my face, the mask with add to the scare. That paired with my pleasant sized stash of fireworks and lightup gloves are bound to scare some kids. Like seriously, imagine being a four year-old that all of a sudden sees 5 lights appear, one at a time, and then they show a blank white face. 5 minutes later they see sparks fritzing up and everywhere from where he was. It's PERFECT. I may have said this before, but last year I got the police called on me for lighting bottle rocket fountains in a private neighborhood, at least that's what the guy made it seem like. We ditched like motherfuckers, it was me, the terrorist, and the faggot. For those that don't remember, the faggot is a former friend of mine that screwed up big time with Blue. Anyways, the faggot decided to act like he doesn't know us if we get caught. That right there is the equivalent of maximum douchebaggery to me. What type of person says he's your friend, but then abandons you at the first sign of trouble. Even though I've always been somewhat of a loner, it's still an asshole move.

My Heart It Swoons :3

So I kinda got a girlfriend. It's the girl I've been after for awhile. And the reason I say kinda is because she agreed to pre-date me first. What she defined as pre-dating is for a week we embrace the basics of a relationship. Hugging, talking, holding hands, basically some stuff that would put a giant grin on my face. And then after the week we decide whether to stay together or not. Not to be cocky though, but I'm pretty sure we'll stay together. But the final decision will always be up to her. Seriously though, I'm sweet as fuck. Not playing either. I got her to call me cute a couple of times also. I just can't stop smiling. I've been in total dreamland today and seriously procrastinated ALL DAY. I'm supposed to be working on a project I haven't started that's due on Thursday. I need to lift weights. I still need to go streaking in the rain. I just procrastinate because I'll do anything if it means talking to her. I just got my worries though. What if the reason she suggested pre-dating is because I acted like a sad, sorry, puppy dog. I mean like seriously. I didn't mention it that much, but I did a couple of times. My worries will always plague me though. Right now though I got some serious confidence she won't kick my ass to the curb in a week.

My Facebook Page

So I'm bored today because of us having no school due to the hurricane so I decided to build my facebook page instead. I mean I've worked on it occasionally, but it's a neglected bitch. Blue posted one of the funniest pics I've seen for a while though that's perfect for turning into a meme, in fact I made 2 memes with it. It's a kid in a hulk costume. Anyways, after I made the meme I posted it to the walls of some of my favorite facebook personalities and it paid off, I got a like. Now there's lots of ways to build a page. First off, you post good content whether it's yours or someone else's you put a personal flare on it. If it's not yours then it's what you put in the description. If it's your OC well then you don't have to do shit but make it. The next step is that you post content commonly and regularly to make people notice it and give fans a chance to comment, making your page more visible. The final and most important step is to post to the walls of pages that you yourself like because they're going to have similar senses of humor as you do which results in you gathering fans that like what you post. Or the OC gets shared. Finally, you comment on stuff regularly enough to get people to notice you.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/CaucasianAzn/120640914742373
Memes:

I Feel Sublime

Despite the poem I put up in my last post I've reached a height of happiness created by affection. This is going to sound cheesy but it's cause I got called cute. I mean my friend was blowing shit out of proportion with how much he said the girl that I like was flirting with me. But the only thing I can account for to be flirting was when she called me cute because of my addiction to Cholula Hotsauce. This is the same girl that I asked out over facebook before though which gives me reason to think she wasn't flirting. Why would she turn me down then be like, oh la la I like this guy? But anyways there was some other shizz going on. Like I got sent a pic by her. But one thing that was kinda stupid that my friend pointed out is that she "cares about me". The reason I use the quotes is because she told me she wouldn't want me to get set on fire, because he was lighting me on fire. But I did do some stuff that entertained her, mostly in my past. I sent her videos from youtube that I'd made with one of my friends that were highly comedic. Let's see there was me on a pole, which somehow didn't involve that much stripping. Then there was me in a wheelchair playing the retard. And funniest of all that I put on repeat, me wiping out on a bike while going down a hill. That forever will be my favorite. We eventually started to talk about cooking, something she's been doing for awhile. I feel in love again but don't think it's soon enough to say that. Another thing though that he signaled as "showing she likes you" is how she would trash a girl after I said I liked her, and talked herself up. There was also the fact that we talked for about 5 hours.

The Writer's Block Lifted?

I feel so alone; with no one to own

No new friends to make; live all my mistakes

I wish for a girl; that lives as I do

That likes what I like; Her feelings be true

But I never had that; not even once

My love life in pieces; I just feel done

My heart reaches out; for a kindred spirit

But touches nothings; No one to merit

I've been born into being forever alone

Just me by myself, unending I roam

Written: 10/25/12

So this is a poem about how I feel alone. Now I actually make new friends every now and then, but couldn't think of anything to fit it. I just embraced the idea of being alone, and felt as if the extremity was what I was living with. Even though my earlier rap was horribly put together and I realized the stupidity in it, it shows my mind's revival. Anyways all of the other night I just talked to one of my friends about how I wish a girl I asked out had said yes, and how I am emotionally alone when it comes to love and those bordering it. I realized that every year this one girl that I start liking and it builds up. 7th grade was the worst because I got a giant crush on a girl just because she was beautiful as fuck. I mean I was probably the stupidest that year though, to fall for a girl cause of her looks. I mean seriously, I didn't even know what her voice sounded like. But then last year I was the personal bitch of some other girl that I developed a crush on at the end of the year. She didn't exactly like it and kinda acted like a total overall cunt to me but was occasionally nice. Now this year it's the same situation. She eventually got guilt tripped by one of my friends, who didn't do it intentionally, and starting trying to be nice towards me if I tried to talk to her. All that really did, when I found it out, was make me dislike pity even more because if there's one thing I hate it's pity. I stopped talking to a girl I liked after I asked her because I knew all I'd do is talk about her denying me and try to convince her to change her mind and realized if I kept trying she may say yes just because I'm looking desperate and pitiful. And if a girl were to only talk to me all politely and nicely and treat me like a human being was probably just because her conscience was plagued is about the same thing. I mean I would just love if there was a girl that I met in person that I like that likes me back. That has never happened for me, whatsoever, as far as I know. For the girls that I've told I've been answered with a no. If I really wanted a girlfriend I probably could get one though, as I've said before. There are 2 girls I'm confident that like me and one girl I got a good feeling that she does. But I like them more as friends, the one I'm sure I've known for 2 years. One of the girls I'm confident I've know for about a half school year or one school year. The other one I met this school year, but just because of how it seems.

FUCK CANADA

My magical mystical mojo is gone
So that's why I started to rap this song
So while you momma's busy with my dong
Noah you're gonna realize that you're wrong
No one gives a fuck about Canada
We got everything they got nada
You bitches got geese, moose, and beavers too
While we have Mexicans, Asians, and Jews
You loyalist sluts live it up with the queen
While we fought for the American dream
Screw all that Canadian pride
It surprises me you niggas haven't died
Why don't you take your poser ass home
Canada took an American loan
They dubbed a province the North Hollywood
Put out shit like Twilight, that was no good
Screw that free healthcare too
Where's the independence, what the fucks new?
You just sit there in your North corner
Kissing Britain's ass but looking like a loaner
That's a pretty red Maple Leaf
But it's shit compared to an eagles wings
And in the money, we're knees deep
Of my hate for you, I would sing
And Noah you better be listening too
Learn in a fight that I know that you'll lose
Your poser ass can't back shit
And I bet you can't spit a lick
Stop walking round like you're all cool
I bet you think you make the bitches drool
But all they do is probably laugh
Now excuse me while I go take a nap

This rap is basically me being a patriotic asshole. Even though I'm not proud of this country, I honestly couldn't give to shits about Canada. In my English class there's a faggot that I'm stuck sitting next to that blazes his "Canadian Pride" that I like to mock him for. His name is Noah, I forgot his last name and wouldn't care to remember it either. But all he is is a really, really bad hater and I honestly doubt anyone likes him, he's an annoying poser. He just sits there acting like he's all cool and shit which just irks me. And he won't accept that no one gives a fuck about Canada except Canadians. And after learning stuff in class I can easily enough dish out burns for him being a Canadian Faggot.

What To Do...

Tomorrow I get to stay home from school due to my ankle being sprained. Now it's gotten better, but I still can't run on it and stairs are a bitch to go up. It's not a total cunt for me though. All I can think is I got shit to do when I'm home. I'll probably just sleep in a little, go to my basement and play videogames, watch stuff on my T.V. But that shit gets old after a while. I think I may look for G Eazy songs full of figurative language and sound devices to suggest to my teacher. She said she's very open to music and has a sheet for suggestions. Some of the suggestions she also used for examples in figurative language and sound devices. She used Kid Cudi, 2 Chains, and Chief Keef. She decided Chief Keef wasn't that smart because of the way he talked and had barely anything poetic in his raps the way rappers normally do, intentional or unintentional. This is one of the reasons I want to work on rapping more but can't because of my writer's block. If I didn't have writer's block maybe I could write a rap that actually lasts 3 minutes and is loaded with metaphors and similes. The most I do is use personification and heavy hyperbole.

My Skills Down The Drain

I used to be quite the CoD player. In fact I still kinda am but lately I've been sucking major ass when I play. Simply said it's dependent on my mood and the day's mojo. But I normally atleast get a little more kills than deaths a game but now I barely break even. It's not from Mass Effect 3, I haven't played that game in a while. In fact I probably should in case my CoD playing is going to fuck up my ability in Mass Effect 3. I was good, I'll tell you that. I pissed people off because I'd run around stealing kills most of the game to fuck with people. I guess I just had a good potential. I tried playing as a soldier rather than a vanguard once and it played out fine. I wasn't top in the game but I didn't get downed a whole bunch. I just had to play like 3 games to get a feel for the new moves that the soldier had. I don't really know why I care that much about sucking at CoD though, I mean I play fine. I have fun also, I did some real dickshit stuff on CoD. One of my favorite trolls was when I was playing Dropzone and stole 5 of the best packages cause no one was coming after me.

Me And My Ankle Pains

I happen to have some of the weakest ankles you'll ever see. But today I screwed them up big time. Normally about once every so many months I land on it wrong and it hurts like a motherfucker.  It was in gym and we were playing basketball and when I block I like to mess around and crouch low with my legs spread out and jump up and down up and down over and over again and at them. It's a fail block but it's funny. And then I tried to jump over my friend or something and fell over and landed and bent it horribly. It was that or I jumped to block a pass he got from someone else and tripped. All I know is it's sprained and when I got to the nurse it was puffy as fuck. I'm not playing, it was puffed out like a half inch. And I'd been walking around on it for 4 hours without much complaint. After I got to the doctor they said I had to stay off of it for a while and try not to walk around as much. What sucks ass though is that when I walk around after staying still a while my ankle just shoots up. I can hop around fast well though, but when I hold my foot up while hopping I forget and snap the ankle down which hurts like a bitch. I can hold it up though, without any pain. If I really wanted to I could walk around on crutches, I'm good on those from messing with my brother's as a kid. But if I go to school it'll be annoying to go around with. There is one up to it though, I got my doctor to write me a note that tells my teachers to let me put my feet up in class. And one teacher, that I happen to dislike, hates for people to put their feet on chairs or asses on desks. But what annoys me the most is that I have to be careful. I can't run for a week, or participate in gym. I'm going to gain some weight cause I can't move around a lot either or act super wild. I'm going to have a break time without having asked for it. And then when I want to shower I need to take a bandage wrap off and rewrap it later, something that I happen to be bad at doing.

Ode To Blue

That's right Blue it's an ode to you

Cause of all the shit that you helped me through

If anyone denies that it's true

They must be one real big fool

You're like a lil sis, and I'm the big brotha

If someone picks on you they go through hell like no other

I'll find where they live and call them out

Then cries of pain will be what they whine about

Cause you were there for me when I needed you the most

And I'm sorry but I need to boast

You're the best friend anyone could have

People say I'm wrong, I'll just laugh

Our emotions they flux, going up and down

When you're mood is bad then I play the clown

When I'm the mad one you're giddy with glee

That's why I say you were there for me

I'm a little sad so I talk to you

You're a little sad so I try to help you too

I'll be here forever as long as you need me

And no worries, there's no fee

It surprised me when you took my advice

Cause I'm always the one that needs insight

And the flux it'll end sooner or later

And when it does we'll be the greater

So because I need to end this sorry rap

Imma finish up so I can take a nap

Let me end on a positive note

I just need to say I'M ON A BOAT

Yep, a rap, no surprise there. I mean I haven't written one in a while. I'm also pretty sure that I've started reusing rhymes in my raps. But I'm at best amateur because I never move up from the AABB rhyme scheme. Earlier in a English class we were going over sound devices and figurative language and how a lot of rappers use them in their music and I realized again how horrible my stuff is. I wanted to finish the last four lines with happiness, but instead decided to fit with a flow and so I'M ON A BOAT also. I'M ON A BOAT is totally irrelevant to the rap. Like seriously, there's no secret meaning to those four words whatsoever. I plan to start going through and trying to write a series of lines that I can call an actual rap. I'm talking lots of metaphor, simile, connotation, annotation, alliteration, consonance, assonance, etc. etc. And I really want to use imagery. Looking over this one the only one I can name off the top of my head is me referring to Blue as my little sister and me being her big brother which is a metaphor. I guess I also used a little hyperbole when I talk about the flux in our emotions also. There's also the threats that I used. In the first four lines though there's some internal rhyme though.

Happy Birthday Gramps

So my grandfather's birthday was a couple of days. Before you guys think it, no he doesn't know I have a blog and I don't intend to inform him that I do. And he and I share a couple of things. We both like to work, while I don't have a job he still works and turned 80 this month. I really want a job though, but high chances are I have to wait to be 16 to get one so I have to do other things for money. Another thing shared is our first name. Another big thing is, I believe, we were both born on the 13th. So he forgets to send birthday money a lot because he remembers it as his birthday and not mine. And his party was AWESOME. I went to an Italian restaurant that my aunt's friend helps to run. I experienced such new foods or ways to eat it that I hadn't had before. For example, I had mussels. Mussels are one of my favorite types of seafood but I never ate them the way I did at the restaurant. We didn't order the mussels for the mussels, but for the sauce. I ate it with bread and was stuffed about 4 times that day. The next thing that I tried was polenta. It was like grits but I'd never had it before. I didn't get stuffed on it though. I stuffed myself with Mahi, a fish I've had before, and spinach. But then the chicken picatta was just SOOO GOOD! I tried this thing called brocollini also. It's like baby broccoli. Then there was a penne pasta that I ate that was mixed with a lot of sausage. My three favorite things to eat there were the Mahi, the Brocollini, and the Mussel juice. I literally took home a container of just mussel juice.

Well Guess What Today Was

Today was homecoming. I didn't originally plan to go, and didn't either. Right now me and my friend are trolling his sister who's at homecoming. I mean it wouldn't have been fun to go anyways, all it is is grinding. But I still wouldn't mind if I had a date. Speaking of which the girl I asked out said she didn't want to ruin a friendship. She told me other stuff too, and I'm pretty sure that she's just trying to lighten the blow. She said she's never been in a relationship before either. All I did was keep trying to convince her to go out with me. It honestly made me feel like a dick cause I don't know how it was affecting her but I'm pretty sure it wasn't positively. But yea, anyways. Today was homecoming which I didn't plan to go to. I didn't go to homecoming, and I started to go on tangent. I hope my writer's block ends soon. I can't rap either, even when it's ripping on people I loathe. Everything is off.

Closure

Talked to the girl I asked out and blamed it on my brother. Said I left my laptop in my basement and he went trolling. She went lol and such and basically said she was relieved. I was relieved that I got to talk to her. I did say though that I would love to date her but just not ask her out the way "my brother" did. This is going to be a short post cause I can't think of anything else to say. Sorry readers that I don't have, my blog is officially half way to it's death, how nice.

Self-Esteem All Time Low

I happen to have such a fucked up self-esteem. I have a fine one when it comes to everything except my standing with girls. I mean, I'm funny, just most of the time when I make people laugh it's normally related to me acting retarded. But you know you have such a bad self-esteem when what you expect to happen after you ask a girl out is what you get, a no. I happen to mock myself daily though, making stuff ranging from fat jokes to ugly jokes. The thing is, I'm not that fat or ugly. What I do that's embarrassing is making faces and acting clumsy with everything. And of course I act stupid. In my English class we had to make a sensory poem comparing something to something else. I decided to write about a toilet. It was actually a well thought out poem, I made it in a minute.

A Toilet

A Porcelain Goddess

You sit, feel the coldness

Standing or sitting

Plopping and dropping

I later made a poem about a river because, although the one about a toilet fit the parameters it was inappropriate. But back to an explanation for this depression. I asked her out, yes I did. I obviously did it on Facebook because I don't have the personal confidence to ask her out in front of people. But then this morning my friend who rides her bus said it was a no and she felt bad about it. He said she's going to tell me to my face to help keep the blow light. When she does I'm just going to say it was my brother trolling, something I do whenever someone on my facebook gets trolled. Well him or my other friend that I use as a patsy for everything. But whatever happens happens, and either way it'll be awkward for a while.

Gimme Yo Money

So lots of people owe me money. While selling candy I've gotten worried about whether I'm actually making money from it, then tried counting up debts owed to me. Turns out I am, it's just hard to manage because I let people borrow money from me too much. In total I'm due around 70 or 80 bucks from people. In one class I'm owed about 30. Then there's another kid, that I've dubbed "The Terrorist", who owes me 25. My worries have fleeted though, I just need to work on collecting. There's multiple reasons that I do sell candy though. First off, it's about 120 bucks a month because I buy 4 boxes every other week and theoretically make about 15 off of each box. Second off, I want the money in case I don't get a job. Third and final, I NEED the money for when I get a girlfriend so I have money for dates. But my memory is going to shit for keeping track of all my debts owed to me. I just counted up what I remembered was owed to me. But when I look at someone, I always know if they owe me money, and how much. I don't normally get played, but sometimes trusting people fucks me over. For example, there's a girl that owes me 15 bucks. She's owed it to me for a month. She keeps saying her friends going to pay her, which I doubt, but hopefully she pays me soon. I only got 80 on me and want 20 for SSX and 30 in case I grow big enough balls to ask a girl out to homecoming. The other 30 plus profits I make is for what to do before homecoming with her. I really need to man up. But I could not spend 30 on homecoming if I ask her out and just take her on a date instead, of course my treat.


On another note I've reached 1500 views, so proud I've managed to last that long. That's about 8 views per post, so on average 8 views a day. It's skewed though because recently Blogger has been fucking up with the views and not recording them all. Or they would but when there was a glitch that set it to zero and when it was fixed the recorded views while it was reset weren't added to the actual ones.

Skipping

So on almost any day of school I will go without having to think about it. But when I don't feel like going to school I just skip by faking a headache. I also skip when I have a reduced delay to start or end a break. But now that I'm in highschool I think I'd prefer to even go to school, just because I don't want to get caught up in makeup work. Also I have a semi-provocative way to make money there so I can't skip if I want to keep making money. Especially since I didn't get my job at Best Buy, I'm going to apply at a pizza eatery also that I've heard hires 15 year olds, but I gotta wait on that. At the rate I am going though I make about 60 bucks every two weeks because I sell every other week so as not to wear it out cause people buy from me everyday. The breaks also make it easier to carry stuff around school so that I don't get lazy and start carrying it in my backpack like I did before, which ended in it getting crushed in my backpack. But I also have friends there, and tomorrow there's a 3 hour delay that I could skip on if I wanted. I will honestly go to school just to collect money, hang with friends, and see a girl rather than learn. As I've always said, learning is carefree for me. Until I start to be failing, lower than an "A" cause I'm Asian, I don't need to be serious at all in school and can focus on other things to pursue.

I Hate The One Time I'm A Pussy

If there's one thing that I don't do often is pussy out on things. But when it comes to girls it's all I can do. I never have the ability to just walk up to them and be like, oh hey, yea you, you wanna go out with me? It's a confidence issue and I just don't wanna pressure her into it or something by asking in front of other people. But then there's when people ask others out of facebook, the pussy way, my way. I end up doing that. I'm pretty sure it ends up insulting the girl saying they're not good enough to be asked out face-to-face. I would love to. But now it's too late cause I was going to ask her out before homecoming and if we're a couple by then then go to it. But I don't see her for the rest of the week and homecoming is this weekend. So I have no alternative but to ask her out over facebook. I wish that just for one day I could ignore such petty fears as the ones I face when it comes to girls and ask them out face-to-face. But I had one of my friends one day at lunch say that I should go out with the girl I pussied out on and I couldn't tell if he was serious or not when he said it. I just was like what the fuck are you talking about? He of course didn't know I liked her though. The only thing that may tip it off is when I give her food but no one else, but that's not that common. But with this girl I've reached the point of thinking of her before I fall asleep and as I drift off into sublimity.

*SIGH*

Well I'm lovedrunk, pretty much skimmed down the girls that I like to two. And guess what, I have a thing for Latino chicks. But I have honestly fallen for two girls in a legit, not a for the moment way. One is the one I always do, but the other one I really like. I started talking to her on facebook yesterday and I'm pretty sure we connected. I'm going to ask her out, not to homecoming though. If I do ask her out to homecoming she'll probably think that it's as friends, but I'm going to ask her out later. My friends decided to tell me that homecoming doesn't mean shit, and I believe it. Why the fuck not? It's not going to mean anything because it's homecoming. A dance where people are know to just grind at. But I have stuff in common with her, I really wish I knew her earlier. Because I could've asked her to Uproar cause, wait for it, SHE'S A ROCKER CHICK! Just omg, she likes rock and metal. I think it would've been nice to have asked her to Uproar. Well anyways, posts are gradually getting shorter and shorter and barely making a paragraph, where in the beginning I could make a post 2 pages long without trying. So when I hit a full year I'm going to think about it and see if I should take a break from posting and change it to once or twice a week. It's because I've been talking on this for so long and suffering some serious writer's block. But now that I'm in a state of almost euphoria, just a little kick which will be asking out the rocker chick and hopefully she says yes, and my posts will be all about me having a girlfriend.

This Is A Day To Remember

This is a special day to remember because I'm confident I'm going to grow up and change the world. Now that's more probable to be something like me being a rich entrepreneur that creates a whole bunch of foundations and such. What I would prefer is to be the person that brought Armageddon  or conquered the world or something, that would be really interesting. Then every Oct 13 will be a grand holiday for the master dictator of the world. Of course I'll be loved, I'm not stupid enough to be one such as Hitler or Stalin. But this year I actually have something to look forward to for my birthday. I've made many friends that'll be getting me stuff, not like they need to. But I got one friend that promised me a 20 dollar speaker, and another that's probably going to get me a 35 dollar gift card or something like he does for people every year. Then there's a post I found on facebook calling today "No Bra Day" and my school has a Powderpuff game coming up. And, of course, today's the day I apply for a job at the Best Buy near my house. Hopefully, even though I've only turned 15, I'll get it also. I mean I got a good enough work ethic, get straight A's/B's, my progress report was supposed to be straight A's but the teacher I named the Holey Moley and Creature Face didn't plug in some grades he was supposed to. And I would just be working the time I normally spend sleeping at home. It's a perfect setup.

-.- I Want My Basement

So if there's one thing that I've sank a good amount of money into but barely ever use it's my basement. I mean out of my major presents I keep two of the two I got in my basement. I've spent about 200 bucks or so on stuff for my T.V. and XBox also. During the summer I got it to my self until five in the afternoon because my brother had a job, but now when he's at home he hogs the T.V. He plays stuff on his computer all day and I honestly don't feel like going off and asking to use the T.V. cause I'm not like that. Then, cause I can loiter down there when it's just him, he also has his girlfriend over 4 times a week. It gets annoying, I don't get to do anything in the basement, and don't really wanna mention it to my brother either. If I asked him he'd probably just finish up whatever he was doing, including his girlfriend, and then give it to me though. But there's some stuff that I prefer to do in privacy, like when I run/backpedal in my basement. All that I do in my basement is lift weights, practice boxing, and play videogames. It may not seem much but in the long run boxing is 30 minutes, weights is 30 minutes, and videogames lasts about 3 hours at the least when I'm in the mood. Due to this I tend to hesitate before buying a new videogame or something that I'd keep in my basement with the worry that I won't use it. This is why I can't wait to get a job. After I spend 300 bucks on a fancy smancy pair of headphones; not Beats, I'm getting Bose; I'm getting a nice T.V. for my room and a PS3. Well that or buying a T.V. and moving my XBox up to my room when my brother isn't use it. I hope I get a job, I really do, I'm applying at the BestBuy by my house tomorrow cause they said they've hired 15 year olds before. If I do, at the assumption I get paid at 10 bucks an hour and work 18 hours a week I'll get a clean 200 bucks a week after tax. That goes to about 1200 bucks every payday. For those that don't know you get paid every other week. And my assumption is high hopes cause the VA minimum wage is $7.25.

My Power Shake

So recently I decided to start making shakes for my breakfast cause I'm never up to make a legit one in time. Basically I piled a whole bunch of fruits together that were rich in certain vitamins and minerals. But, because protein didn't strike me as easy to find in fruits, I added in a protein powder also. To counteract the sleeping that comes with protein I also put in an energy shot, that was the mistake. Before I had everything I'd wanted I just put in whatever vanilla based ice cream I could find, strawberries, orange juice, frozen lemonade mix, and coffee. Yes coffee. You may not know this but coffee is rich in antioxidants. So the stuff that I'd added also, with a full knowledge that it won't ruin the flavor, was bananas for potassium and iron along with avocado because they are good for skin health, I've gotten a high amount of acne compared to my usual, and  iron. There's also this thing called a sex drive which gets boosted due to avocado being an aphrodisiac. The protein powder was put in also, something that I needed to help build muscle mass. It would've been fine if I hadn't decided on the ingenious idea to add in that energy shot. So now I've wasted about 5 bucks worth of stuff trying to figure out a shake. My original shake tasted really good though.

Can I Ask You A Question?

So if there's one thing that highly annoys me is how there's those people that just blindly follow their idols and don't question anything. In particular there was a guy on Youtube, MrCalfornierGuy or something, and he just annoyed me with the way he idolized Nicki Minaj. His form of support was just so biased and he ignored what people said to him about it. For example, someone mentioned that Minaj had gotten fired for throwing food at a customer from her job as a waitress. He decided to mention all that she faced growing up and then goes oh and she was mistreated there. He doesn't pay attention to the fact that she'd been fired from multiple jobs for being an obnoxious cunt, so it wasn't cause of how she was being treated. I called him dull and how Nicki Minaj obviously doesn't care that much about her past because most of her songs, and almost all of her singles, are about her being famous and having a big ass that gets fucked every night. I mention that to him and how she rubs her sexual life and commercial success in our faces and his response is that I'm immature and that she never rubs our faces in her "greatness." I mean listen to any of her singles, two of which were diss tracks, and you see that except for maybe Moment 4 Life, even though there is still a lot of rubbing in but it mentions a little bit her trip to fame, you just see her talking about money and sex. I'd be just as annoyed as someone that blindly supported Hopsin or The Game. Most of the time their die hard fans don't actually pay attention to what they release though. Like one kid in my class, that at least claims to be a heavy smoker of marijuana, says that he agrees with everything that Hopsin says and then mentions Ill Mind of Hopsin V. There's the fact that Ill Mind of Hopsin V includes Hopsin smashing on stoners showing that he doesn't support marijuana. Like I love Hopsin, he's a great rapper, but he's a hater. Just as much as Nicki Minaj is a slut and Drake is a braggart. I just need to say, it's not good to not question things. Of course it's bad to question everything, I know that from experience, but blindly following people is worse in my opinion.

Are You In Love?

So recently a couple of friends have expressed confusion to me over their love life. That or asking for advice on crap to do with it. Or just plainly telling me who they like. When I say recently I mean over the past 2 or 3 months. I personally have my own way to tell how I feel about someone, and right now am highly confused over my love life and who it is that I like. But if you have to pick, see what your body tells you. I'm not saying see which of them gets you horny. No I mean literally listen to your heart. When you think of them do you smile? When you talk to them do you smile? Can just a message from them on facebook brighten up your shittiest day? I'm asking serious questions here. But most of all, when you think of them do you feel your heart beating? For lack of a better word, do you experience a high and feel sublime when you think of them? This stuff that I'm listing isn't just made up bullshit, it's legitly what I pay attention to. And I've experienced it all in one girl. But then I get these retarded feelings for other ones that get me all jumbled up and shit. Right now I'm at the point of unending emotional confusion. I like this girl, but I like this one also, etc etc. It's just getting to me. But, I have miniature crushes that come and go in 2 weeks, then ones that last for a while. I'm just annoyed by my feelings right now because they're leading in so many directions just pissing me off.

I Hate The Cold

I mean I love it, a lot, but I prefer it in doses of an hour outside then back inside, then back out, etc. Today it was sickening because I biked for about an hour and a half along with walking an hour going from friend's houses and school. I mean like seriously, it started raining during the first half hour and by the time I reached my friends house my legs felt like they were burning cause of the cold outside and my crotch felt frozen to my leg. I eventually decided to go to a 7-11 for hot chocolate because my face felt frozen also. But what I hated the most was what it did to my muscles. My leg cramped up after standing for 2 minutes. And I stretched something in my foot so it'll randomly start to hurt a lot for a couple of seconds. And then going inside after being out in the cold for so long just hurts. Cause at that point your arms are paler and cold so you get blasted and immersed in heat to fast. I mean I honestly love the cold, but as everything does it has a down side to it. But something to really hate is one of my friends is literally making me go ice skating, I dislike skating and when I do it's on rollerblades.

The Disappointment I Face

So my plan's kept failing yesterday. Everything that got planned to do didn't happen. The camping trip? It got canceled cause the people hosting canceled because they found they were too old for it. I planned to do other things also, like go to a fair that one of my friends was volunteering at so I could get in for free. They were gone when we got there and what I wanted to go to closed down. I mean I wanted to go to the fucking shooting range that was setup by the NRA, but NOOOOOO when I get there it's closed. So my dad decides to go to a different campground, we get there 3 hours late so we can't register and it's too dark to setup camp. We go home to have a fire out in the woods, I'm taking a piss and my friend pushes me so I get piss all over my hands. I wipe it off on him and he pours Dr. Pepper on me. So my brother leaves saying you guys are being gay. And I don't wanna be out in the woods at night by my house cause a body showed up on a gang trail nearby in the woods. And I didn't do crap, we start the fire, I go back to get a jug of water, take a piss, then we leave cause I got drenched in Dr. Pepper. Last night was just total bummer. I mean my brother has his girlfriend over and my friend and I get the basement at 1 in the morning to play videogames. We go down and are too tired to play and fall asleep around 2. Just bummer, that was the theme of the day. I mean we still had some fun. I looked for Slenderman in the woods behind my house using my ghetto rave gloves, ghetto cause of the way I made them, as a light. It was real scary though cause there were possums, raccoons  and squirrels running around pissing and shitting everywhere.So every now and then I hear some dripping, and then I see a shit fall down.

Outdoor Antics

This weekend I'm going camping with my dad, my brother, his girlfriend, and one of my friends. The plan is, we don't sleep and go looking for Slenderman at 2 in the morning along with blowing up lighters and axe cans. The campground I'm going to is one where I had an incident though. They have a zipline that I fell out of. And it was a really ghetto one, it's not a harness but a plank and the stop is like a story or half a story up but right over a really soft patch of dirt. I mean I'm going to be doing stupider stuff this year, the last time I went was about 6 years ago. I'm going to go hanging by my legs, hanging on the bottom, maybe do it laying down somehow. I'm much more wild than I was 6 years ago, especially around certain friends. There's other stuff to do also though. There's a huge river, one that I almost drowned in. It's full of deep and hard to see pits that you can fall into, I fell into 2, and there's holes in the side of the river with snakes and beavers in them. It's actually quite scary but fun. And of course there's the whole aspect of exploring the woods and setting stuff on fire with the lighters my dad's buying for me to mess with. I asked for them, and he goes but you have zippos. The zippos suck ass, atleast mine, when you use them outdoors because the flame is barely blue.

What The Hell's The Point Of Fight Clubs?

So today someone on my facebook posted a video of a fight. What it seemed like was just them fighting for the heck of it and I'm wondering, what's the point? Like I'd get if there were bets being placed but it was freshmen. And I get it proves muscle and gives you a reputation, but like without a reason? The fight was amateur though, I mean there was only one punch, that flowed into being a headlock, the became to faggots wrestling on the ground. In the end it looked like they were cuddling after sex. I just can't fathom the inspiration behind it. Fight clubs are different, but they're the closest thing I could think of to compare what happened in the video today. I mean I'd fight, and I could win, but if I had a reason. I'd just get in close and pound on the bitch til' they pass out and someone has to pick me up off of them. If I get in a headlock it's worse though because I can easily elbow them and hit them with my head, which as far as I know hurts a lot. But it was only the second one I've seen posted to facebook, and I have to say it was just retarded. They follow the kid for 30 seconds, then lose him, then when they find him he turns around and puts his fists up wrong. Then I saw him go off and punch, but it failed. I mean people are just dumbfucks that think they can fight sometimes. When they go up against someone that actually practices they're gonna get their asses handed to them.

Leaving The Dating Scene To My Friends

One of my friends loves to fuck with my facebook, and one thing he does is hit on girls for me. I mean he starts it with asking them out, then when it fails blames it on one of my other friends. And I mean he did something even more though, he friended a girl so he can message her. I mean just what the hell. It didn't fail, but it wasn't a great idea either. He does other stuff for me also, mostly bothering people as me, A.K.A. trolling. He does a good job of it too, I mean I've creeped out three girls saying my friend likes them and then coming in, gut-punching my "friend" and saying I was taking a long time in the bathroom. At the beginning of the summer my friend also asked out three girls for me, all of which proceeded to say no, not to my surprise. I can also trust in him to fuck with people and ask them out for me. And I figure that they'll eventually work. If they don't, well I don't care, but I know by the end of the semester I'll have a girlfriend. And hopefully, it'll because I mustered a courage to ask them out. But who the hell would wanna date me. I mean I'm funny. There's a rule you either don't know me, love me, or hate me, but I annoy the shit out of everyone as much as I make them laugh. And I'm highly annoying, if you get what I'm leading on to. But the "funny" stuff I do could scare a girl away, even though it's intentional, rather than attract her. For example, I like to go in the middle of the street and start dancing, or do Gangnam Style across the street. I fuck around like a total retard for my own and normally at least one of my friends amusements  The only other funny stuff I do is normally perve jokes or picking on my patsy, who gets picked on a little too much more than he usually does. But I can't wait til' this weekend, I'm going camping and all the stupid stuff and badass themed stunts I do will get recorded by one of my friends, or my brother.

My Writer's Block

Ok, I mean this is honestly really weird. I'm not apathetic, fuck no I'm always slightly above or under apathy. But I have had writer's block for a while. If anything I figured that after school started I'd have so much shit to bitch and moan about on here cause it's freshman year of highschool but well I got shit. I mean even with the stuff that annoys me, that I could normally write books about if I had a week and I can't write crap. It's not just because I've written about these topics over and over on here to the point where my "avid readers" would be as annoyed with them as I am just because it's what I'm talking about half the time. I mean right now I'm in a slight depression that's going to reach depths unbearable, I mean my appetite's shrunk like it always does. But I can't write about it like I normally would. My brain's just reached a dead point I guess. I mean I can learn in class, but creativity has reached an all time low for me. I just come home and curl up in a ball to sleep, everyday, it's become a cycle. But it's affecting everything. My creativity's death has made it close to impossible for me to think of what to cook. It just isn't healthy. I think I've just reached a point in my life where I don't see anything to make me happy, and I just feel dead. I guess the up side is that my grades might do better, but I could care less about them. If I can't do what I enjoy, which has become rapping to myself when I'm bored and writing about problems on here. Well that paired with me drawing and cooking what people wouldn't expect, well I don't care about the rest of everything in the world that affects me, except maybe Blue and her emotional standing.

Bye Bye Happiness

So I explained to you the fluxes in my happiness in relation to Blue's, and well I knew it was coming. But I didn't think it'd come this fast. Like what happened I was expecting, for a while, but when I saw it I just broke. Today had been going well though, right after school my brother's girlfriend took me and him out for smoothies at some place that not so many people know about. I decided to stop calling her names and a slut, that's semi-bad though. But then when I got home I did my usual stalkery thing and checked the facebooks of the girls I happen to be crushing hard on at the moment, 2. Then right there I saw it, what I knew would happened but was wishfully thinking she'd change her mind. She had said yes to this guy for homecoming, they were official. I mean I talk to her on a weekly basis so I knew it'd happen, but when I saw it I just went upstairs quietly and then curled up and teared up. Like she told me she was going to say yes to him, but seeing that giant post on her Facebook just broke me. I know there's a depression period coming up. It has it's small benefit of me being pseudo anorexic, but everything else fails. Like no joke, last year during one of my depression periods, only had 2, I really fucked up in class. There's one other girl that I could ask out and her saying yes may pull me out of it, but there's like a 1 to 10000000 chance, no exaggeration, of her saying yes. This is just because she doesn't like in-class relationships, and I'm ugly as shit. I mean I got the confidence to talk to a girl, that's not hard for me to muster. But sometimes I lose stuff to talk about and need to well do something stupid that overall removes my reputational standing with them and makes me look stupid. I'm highly reliant on being a funny, charismatic asshole like I always am. I just hope maybe once I won't get shot down like I normally do. I mean I haven't even talked to her as much as I did last year, but maybe that'll change. On a lighter note, but because my emotions are so fragile right now, my brand new and beast ass iHome speaker I bought is already broken. I'm pretty sure I blew it out with the bass.

I Think I've Been Played

So today I was at Radioshack looking at stereo headphones and decided to splurge and spend 70 bucks on a pair of Skullcandy Skullcrushers. I think they're pretty quality, right now I'm listening to a review. They are great for subwoofers, for those of you that don't know they're speakers designed to handle bass at higher levels. I mean the subs are proving to be semi-quality but I'm annoyed at this point. The guy at Radioshack told me that they were really powerful headphones, like as powerful as Beats by Dre. They're styled, I'll say that much. I mean they're something I can walk around with and act like I have "swag" when I wear them. But compared to Beats, which I've used before, I think I may have gotten a shit pair. I mean they nice, easily stow able  and semi powerful. But my 15 dollar pair of Skullcandy earplugs is more powerful, and cancels the sound so I can't hear my bitch of a mom. I'm planning to go to Radioshack tomorrow to exchange them for a different pair in case I just got a shitty pair, and it's not the model. On another note I got an iHome mini speaker for twenty bucks also. That was the original reason I was at Radioshack. I didn't ask the guy about them because all I wanted was a nice, small, and cheap one. And even though Apple normally releases overpriced stuff the speaker is really quality. I mean the bass just shakes my table to the point where my speaker fell of the table. Back to the Skullcrushers, I'm pretty sure I paid mostly for the name Skullcandy. I've seen reviews of the headphones saying that Beats and Skulcandies are normally just overpriced and for about half the price you can get a pair that's of 2x the quality and power. I was looking at the Auvios but I'm pretty sure the guy was focused on making me buy the more expensive pair. He claimed that he had his own pair for about one and a half years though and that they worked well, which is why I think it may be the pair. When I go by tomorrow I'm going to ask the guy if his sounded the same as mine though, but he may have been bullshitting me cause they were released in 2011.