I Miss You

I cry myself to sleep as I lay alone in bed

So many words but nothing gets said

My head feels heavy but my heart feels worse

All I ever do is wish I said no words

If I kept to myself my life wouldn't be wrong

But now I can only sing my song

I should've just waited for the feelings to pass

They'd still be there but I'd be less of an ass

And now all I miss is the fun that we had

But I find my annoying you is quite bad

I'll leave you be til' the month meets end

Cause then it will be a time since then

It'll be about about a year since I made that choice

To open up to you and let you hear my voice

I let you in my life we were best of friends

But in the maze of life I took us to a dead end

This burning bridge is mine but yet you've gone off

I'm trapped in the center no way but down

Now without a rope to climb back up

I start over again as the fuckup

All I wish to be is worthy of you

Yes I mean friends my dear Blue

So this poem expresses a side of the depression I face. All that I could ever wish is to be able to just talk to Blue again and not have to leave her be. But if I talk to her all I manage to do is annoy her. Amazing, we had a friendship for 10 months and I tore it apart like it was a piece of paper. But, it was around the beginning of March that I decided to open up to her by telling her who I like, so I'm just going to leave her be til' then. At the beginning of March I'll try to start over again. Hopefully the emotional despair will pay off for me. But until then no need to think about it, I'll probably be the most unhappy I'll ever be.