They took the string and braided a rope

And tied a knot, to take the hope

Around my neck the noose had gone

But I won't be dead for very long

When they took me down I wokeup

I just walked back to my rut

To lay and sleep in despair

You can't take what wasn't there

When already dead the pain's still strong

The shell's still there to right it's wrongs

But while it stands and speaks what's right

People leave and it's alone at night

The sun comes up and I still talk

About all the wrongs that have been wrought

Against me and against others

By myself and by my brother

I'm a horrible person but I hide with a smile

Luckily I still don't have a file

My monsters are large and many

But my leashes are strong and plenty

I wrote this one last night while in depression mode. It's quite blunt with the message if you know me. I'm saying I feel dead already. To make it clear the the "They" in the beginning are my parents, who I honestly blame partially for my insanity. While I've had other things that contributed mostly to my depression and insanity my parents are the ones that boosted it. They act like an amplifier for every problem I have. So because of that I decided not to tell them my problems so that they don't try to solve them. That's led to more trouble but not as much as I'd have if I complained to them. But even though I feel dead inside doesn't mean I have to be a total ass to people around me. Just like how I don't have to mention how fucky I feel to girls that I like when I feel fucky over them. The last two lines are my topper for a reason though. I'm saying that even though I'm an evil and horrible person, I've kept myself under control. Before I made this blog I was a lot more nasty to people. I was still nasty to them while I had this blog but slowly I started to rein in and leash my darker side that I'd let loose too often.