I Feel Played

I feel like an idiot. I feel like such an idiot. Like seriously, I get a girlfriend online. And I believe that it's not some person screwing with me. Well I don't think I'm going to do something like that again. Cause from what's recently happened I feel like I was some girl's plaything for a week. Nothing more. After we broke up she told me she still loved me. I believed her. Then I got worried and paranoid because I started to think about what people were saying to me. I ended up openly accusing her and 2 other "people" of toying with me. She got pissed off and I felt like shit about it. I kept apologizing but she wouldn't forgive me. And when we were in the chat room I said something and she decided to say I just want people to feel sorry for me. I said I wasn't, I hate pity, and it's something I've had on me for a while. And then she starts talking about her new "boyfriend" that I doubt exists. I got annoyed and we started fighting because she said other things because I was just not talking to her. I eventually threatened to post a skimpy picture I had of her online plastered across 4chan with a 16 and pregnant joke. I wasn't going to do it, I never would. But that set her off and apparently she decided to take a whole bunch of pills. Then she slit her wrists. And I felt like shit. But I have reason to doubt that any of this actually happened because I'd done a lot of thinking last night. And I read stuff on her "sister's" facebook and just found out her sister is a faker. The facebook was made using pictures of a model. Now there were only 300 friends which made it look fake but I now have no reason to believe a word I hear from them. And I'm going to be careful and avoid assholes like that that do things like what I've been forced to experience. Just my fucking luck, my first relationship was with a girl that wanted to toy with me.