You can't fathom how much this makes me feel. I'm not going to be a narcissist and say that I'm some hero, but I'm not the weakest person around. With all the emotional troubles I've had over the years, I'm not afraid to cry, and when I do it's not going to last long.
This pretty much explains my decision to pursue Blue. I wasn't afraid of her hurting me, because life was more painful without her being more than a friend. Oh One Piece.
I can't tell you how much me dwelling in the past caused problems. Same with me always being home dreaming of what I doubt would ever happen. I kept wanting things to be back how they used to be. But I also wanted things to be more than what they used to be.
I honestly follow these rules pretty well. I CAN RESPECT THE SIMPLE LIFE. But I'm probably one of the most cynical and doubtful persons of the world. I have anxiety problems.
No doubt about that, it goes back to what I said earlier. I don't dwell on things that often anymore. Even though it was really painful for me when she cut things off, and I hope she misses me even a fraction of how much I miss her, I've lost an ability to dwell on it. I can move on from pain, yes definitely, but not from feelings of love and joy.
Definition of my humbleness. Except that I do have the confidence to know that some girls have a crush on me. Part of the fact that there's always going to be someone that likes you, you just have to look for them. I thought back on the past, I really did. I think that I had a chance with Blue at one point where if I were to ask her out, she would've given yes not out of why not but because she wanted it to. I highly doubt that my thought is true though. But that was before I realized my feelings for her anyways.
Love is poison. Nothing more, nothing less.
This all happened to me, except the memories haven't faded. I don't want my memories of Blue to become distant and disappear. I don't want to forget her. I don't know if I can say she's the person that I knew, but I just don't know her all too well anymore.
I don't know why I picked this picture. But it makes me feel. I don't feel like trying to describe it though.
I would always question why I'm here. I will never know my purpose. But I can only guess as to what it is. I decided early on I'd try to help people. But that's impossible when I'm in a constant state of depression.
I can't say I know. I don't know if she's going to comeback and start talking to me again. When she said goodbye, it had for the rest of your high school career and the rest of your life in it. But I still have one of those feelings that say to me she will comeback. Even though, when I begged her not to go, she talked like she just wanted me to go, and didn't care what I did after that.
Approving of a wreck like me is pretty hard you know.
You don't know how much I reached out to Blue for this support. She used to give it to. But as she faded into that I don't give a fuck mood, the deeper I fell into my depression.
I'd say that person is Blue. She did change my life. But, now I don't know. I know that when I saw this meme, it voiced my aspirations as well as my feelings. But, she's gone now.
I did cherish Blue. I love Blue. But...she gave up on making things work as friends. It's probably mostly my fault. I didn't want to tell her how I felt because once that happens, I have more trouble with talking. Maybe if I'd waited. But now I can't cherish someone when they're gone.
Too bad I didn't follow this. I used to. I used to always say I love you when she or I left. I said I love you when she said goodbye too. But, even though it may have irked her, I wish I said it more.
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