I'm Not Ready To Let Go

So today's been a great start for the summer. Just graaannndddd. Blue told me to go. She's had enough and I can't blame her. I smothered her. By trying to keep her close to me, I ended up pushing her away. She's doing the right thing though. I've needed to move on, but I wanted it differently. I wanted to find someone else to love but still have her as a friend. I guess you could say I wanted the whole cake. Just as much as I hoped that the one girl that I personally hate now, no not Blue, said "Some girls just like to keep things as they are, that's why she said no" was right, I hoped I would stumble upon someone that would make me forget my feelings for Blue. I just officially lost my bestfriend tonight, even though I'd known I lost her for awhile. I guess I tried too hard while she gave up, I can't blame her for giving up. To think, I was thinking of asking out this other girl I know if she went to this party my friend was throwing. I guess tonight showed me I'm not ready to move on.