The Feeling of Betrayal

I've been feeling betrayed a lot lately. Besides the usual crap like my dad never being there to pick me up or always stopping everywhere on the way home. Or my friends who are complete asses at points to me making "jokes" which are some of the most messed up shit. I mean seriously, this summer Blue's coming over and my basement is a shit dump so I told one I was gonna chill with her in my room. He said I was going to rape her. Or bracelets that I wear to keep myself balanced, they call anal beads. But the one that really put me over the edge is from this girl I call Twerky. She calls me Booby, and we were kinda close. There was that one point where I liked her too. But she's also sleaze. I mean like the epitome of it. Be prepared for a nasty onslaught of trashing on her, which kinda makes me wonder why I liked her. She's one of the most self-centered whores out there that can't be considerate of how other people would feel about things. She's also an emotional wreck and would commit suicide at the first notion of getting upset. I mean seriously, and this is when I liked her which she knew, she told me she wanted to fuck my brother. I say he has a girlfriend, she responds with "I have my ways". She's oblivious to how her actions are gonna affect others. Even more, she wanted to fuck one of my bestfriends and tried to use me to do it. She also wanted me to hook her up with my brother's friends. But what really, really puts me off is this. She's always being a bi-polar shit with me. One day she's like "Oh you should go after Blue, she's your one". The next day " Honestly, I don't know, maybe you should give up". What's next? "Blue doesn't know what she has in you, I actually pity her". Just bullshit after bullshit after bullshit. And now she's Blue's first kiss. It's not the first part that irks me. It's the kiss part. I tell myself it's just a kiss, but well it's still a fucking kiss. Even though I probably have no chance whatsoever with Blue, I'm still going to feel betrayed by Twerky. Especially since the last time she talked to me about Blue she told me how much she pities her and how I should be with her. Some bull along those lines. And I'm not pissed in a "It should have been me" type of sense. When I found out her intentions I told myself right then, don't try to be a bitch about it to Blue. I didn't be a bitch about it to her either, but she should've had enough common sense to know how it'd affect me. I honestly couldn't care who Blue kisses most of the time. But Twerky was close to me, and also knew how intensely I feel for Blue. To make it worse there's that whole rant that is this post about how she is always being a bi-polar shit to me about my situation with Blue. Sadly, one of the songs that I really like, I'm really good at gloving to also, describes her attitude quite perfectly in the chorus. Decisions-Boregore