Good Things Will Come

So, despite my serious depression from it, it's better that I just wait for good things to happen. I found that when I act on something it doesn't really end how I wanted when it was something that could majorly affect me. Only problem is when I want to do something, I eventually do it the question is how long I can hold myself back. But, waiting is in my nature. Despite my impulsiveness at points, waiting is in my nature. I do get tired of being patient and letting things work themselves out. But if something's meant to happen, it will. Even if it's not what I asked for it's better that I sit there and take it rather than fight what I know won't stop. This is different from giving up, it's being more passive in the matter. I chose this topic because lately I have been acting. By lately, I mean a couple of months or so, you know it led to her leaving and me being a bipolar shit for the past two months. Let me correct that, a hyper bipolar, I was already quite bipolar prior to the event. But a few days ago I decided I'd use her borrowing Skyrim from me as an excuse to talk to her. Unlike what I did with the "Hey..." I flipped a coin like I used to, mostly because it just came to me. You see, flipping a coin may seem retarded seeing as it's always a fifty fifty chance, but that leaves things up to true luck. Nothing is more defined by luck than a fifty fifty situation. Anyways, what I do is I flip it three times and if it's mostly heads then whatever I'm deciding to do is a yes, if it's mostly tails, well you know, it's a no. I got a yes, and used my excuse to message her. She talked to me, which was really nice, despite she was straightforward focused on how to get me Skyrim back. She did correct my French, but me making retarded half assed jokes got no response from her. She went so far as to offer to send me a package with it, which I thought was a joke and led to me thinking she was giving me a chance to fix things again. Of course, I'm wouldn't have pursued her past friend. I'll always want more but anything is better than nothing. Plus, I found out the same day she's dating someone, no surprise there. Back to topic though, the next day (yesterday) I flipped another coin for whether I should send her another message. She missed out on fighting with the pig-headed religious homophobe last time, to what I think was her displeasure, so I figured she'd want to give him a nice word other people could see. I flipped a coin and got tails, I ignored it and sent a message anyways and she ignored mine. No surprise there. So I think I'm just going to stick to sitting and waiting for things to play out and hope it's in my favor, the way I used to. I have three years for things to change, so the only thing to make me anxious is loneliness.