Who Needs Society

So I can accurately say that I have become a semi-hermit. With all the shit that's gone down and made me feel down, I rarely leave my house. Not being in the mood for much, are you surprised? That means no going out to do grocery shopping, no runs to 7-11 at six in the morning, and no going to friend's houses. No occasionally I broke my hermitry, but it pretty much became I'd leave my house once a week. Literally, I went to a friend's house on Sunday, biked for the first time in weeks by the way so I had to walk a lot of the way home, when I got there he said I looked pale as fuck. I believed him too, I haven't spent as much time in the sun as I intended to. Between Dota, moping, and sleeping there wasn't much time to leave my house. I even started putting on bellyfat again, so I need to cut back the eating and renew the bodybuilding. My tan's faded also. My arms used to be a dark orange brownish tint but they're more of a light orange brown tint in the top parts and forearms are fading, but still somewhat dark. Now of course, I'm trying to fix that. I have a few weeks before school starts again and I don't feel like going back with my flab for people to notice. Not after coming to school last year and being bulkier and thinner. I'd prefer to just have my mane be noticed. It's been growing for about four months now. Touches my collarbone. NOTHING compared to my brother's though, he normally has it in a ponytail but he had it out earlier and I was just awed, he looks like a girl from behind. He should shave his head and sell his hair to make a wig or something. Now, I like having a fullhead of hair, but I don't want a mane like his. By the time school starts my hair should be a little past the shoulders. And as for my flabs, I just have to reduce the smoked slim jim intake along with anything else that I eat. I do eat healthy food, just a lot of it. My hunger is weird, it's insatiable at home but I go to my friends house and I can barely finish one plate. And this one person, when I go to his house, he's used to me eating two or three plates before I need to use the bathroom to make more space. Well that's in the past. It's pretty much my school diet having it's effect on me. By school diet I mean skipping lunch to pocket the money and being kept by on snacks and what I scrounge of friends from the hours 11-3. Then around 4 or 5 it's open season at home, two or three plates of food go up to my room and leave empty. What I do is eat regularly when I lift weights, that means if I'm up for breakfast about five eggs and if I'm up for lunch it's three sandwiches, etc etc. There's snacking in-between. Only problem is, I'll wake up telling myself I'm going to lift but never am in the mood for it. I need to start forcing myself to hit the weights harder than Chris Brown hits Rihanna. A life of a hermit couldn't be that bad though.  No one to judge you or your appearance, and you'd be at peace a lot more often. There's also no chance of hurting others because there'd be no one around to hurt. Of course I couldn't handle something like that. Too much of a need to be social. Just ask my eighth grade English teacher, she deemed me a social butterfly. Or any teacher for that matter, I don't normally know how to shut my mouth. It wasn't so much a matter of respect as I have this cocky air about me that makes me think the knowledge will diffuse into my brain so I don't have to pay attention. Not to toot my own horn, but I normally learn fine with all my blabbing, I just have a bad memory about it after a month or so. Summer leaves us stupid for the next school year.