I Miss You

So this has been a long overdue retarded analysis of a song. One of my more commonly picked sob songs also. It's by Blink 182, a band that I've talked about on this blog lots of times before. I'd have to say they're my favorite because they talk about problems that I go through too, and the emotion behind the songs are just as wacked off as I am, dark and bright at the same time. The song was co-written by Mark Hoppus and Tome Delonge employing a method they used to write Feeling This. They'd start of bouncing ideas around and when they settled they'd go off on their own to write. So lets get to the lyrics.

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want 
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

Mark Hoppus sings this verse. Now we've all had that day where everything just seems like shit until someone comes along. Or there's that person that's in a dark place but doesn't seem like they belong. The people we end up loving will always seem to be the best part of our bad days and stand out compared to everyone else. They're always going to seem innocent. She was that for me, even though she didn't want to be. I ended up making her feel trapped by my dependence on her and my constant despair. It just created a cycle, I'd be sad because she and I weren't the same anymore, I'd get a glimpse of it, then when It's not there anymore it's back to the beginning. As for her being an unsuspecting victim, I'd have to say she probably expected me to get feelings for her, I mean I am a notorious lover boy that does stupid stuff when he's lovedrunk. The next three lines allude to The Nightmare Before Christmas, a recent discovery I made today. I always wondered who Jack and Sally were. The Halloween on Christmas sounded pretty nice too, you know, have kids and say Santa Claus is a goblin that eats children that misbehave or something, and say Christmas is a day that we honor what he does by making our house resemble where he lives. Some bullshit along those lines. But them using Jack and Sally is going with the theme of the whole verse. In the worst situation, in the darkest place, beauty can still exist. Now compared to our world I'd say Jack Skellington's is a walk in the park, and you know she was the most beauteous person or thing I'll ever stumble upon in it. Last two lines, just him saying how special things are, and repeating it. This whole verse is like how things used to be. I'd occasionally woo her and say how nice things'd be if we were together.

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness 
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted 
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Tom Delonge sings this verse. This verse is like where I'm at now. They can't call the song "I Miss You" just because they say that quietly throughout the song, there actually has to be someone gone. Now everyday I wonder how she's been doing, and whether she's looked back on what she decided. Everyday I sit and wait for her on my computer to say something. I haven't tried to apologize to her directly anymore, that ended about a week after she abandoned things. I'd love to but I don't want to ruin her break from me that might not end. With her gone the shaky balance I achieved despite my misery gets upset. I stay up all night, my reason for that is quite different from the reason in the song. Tom is saying he can't sleep because she's gone and the pain makes it so she can't. I can't sleep because one, I'm a total insomniac by nature, and two she and I shared some of our better times online, at 9 P.M.-4 A.M. making it hard for me to sleep during a time like that. I stay up hoping for a message and wallowing in the fact it probably won't come. Wow, can't believe I spent most of this talking about the first two lines. Back on track. This is literally what I said, because when she left she said I'd just find someone else. I said I'm always going to need her. Of course it's not her job to always be there for me, in fact I'm surprised she lasted so long. I call me talking to people bothering them for a reason. And when she left, I just felt darker. Besides me being literally up when it's dark out more than bright, I just hated everything. I was re-experiencing a part of me that I forgot existed. But also, things are different without her around. Everything seemed dark because there was no one to make me feel better anymore, she'd left. After having her for over two years, it's kinda hard to adjust. The next three lines (I'm at "And as I stared I counted") I have trouble explaining. From what I read on interpretations it's going with the theme of dark and lonely. If you haven't been somewhere for awhile it tends to get spiderwebs and other bug crap going on. The last four though, that's just what I've felt. I want to message her, or even go so far as to call her, but I'm not going to. I can't. Even if I did I'd just get turned away. A couple days ago I sent her a "Hey..." (my reasons will remain undisclosed) and it got ignored. I honestly expected atleast something along the lines of go the fuck away. But even though it's not directly, I've been asking her to end my new nightmare. I really hope she still reads my shitstain of a blog.

Don't waste your time on me you're already 
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)

Now this is repeated six times for effect. He's saying he can't be affected more than he is now. Normally the voice inside your head is someone that you always think of what they'd do if they were in your position. Or that you put yourself in their shows and judge what you're doing. I used to do that a lot. But now that she's gone, I don't see a reason to bother.