Life's Like T.V.

Now I remember how when I was a kid I used to believe everything on T.V. and I'd always get told that stuff that happens on T.V. isn't real or not everything you see on T.V. is true. Well, I'd have to beg to differ. A lot of stuff I see on T.V. shows like That 70s Show and The Inbetweeners remind me of my own life in some ways. Honestly, I act like Bob on that 70s Show in the fact that I'm more of a sensitive and loving type, yet also like Red cause I can be harsh and actually have a brain. I remember I took my time and started matching my friends up with who they'd be if they were on certain shows. It was actually pretty accurate in some aspects. But not everything is like you see it on T.V. because you don't always get a happy ending, or atleast the "happy ending" that you were looking for. In real life, no matter how hard you try and hope, there's not always the upside that's you think there is. There's always going to be one, but it depends on if it's one to you. And believe me, I know my way around being optimistic. I remember at the beginning of the school year me and two friends were going to chill after school and go to a football game. It started to rain and we ended up faking on it thinking it was going to be cancelled. Off point, she was going to go also and actually went and I forgot that I'd asked her, ended up feeling like shit cause of that (she is no fan of football, she prefers soccer don't remember how she typed football to show a difference). Anyways, so we decided we'd walk to the mall, about an hour from school and a half hour from my house. Me, being really off and disoriented about where we were, kept saying we were almost there when we were halfway there because I walk between my house and school or other places a lot. When we got to the mall, we were tired as fuck and I said we were a early. We were, by five minutes compared to what I guessed. We complained the whole time and I said we were on schedule. I don't know how well that represents my optimism, but it's a scratch of it. I normally can always create a bright spin on things so that I don't give up and I get a positive version of the end I was aiming for. But you know, unlike T.V, that's not consistent. Lately it's been screw-up after screw-up that its become normal. And by lately I mean over the past three or four months. Before Summer started, but around when things started to go downhill. There, my good naturedly placed optimism gave me a tragic ending. An ending I wasn't looking forward to having. But, I've learned from getting disappointed in life a lot, that I have to be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. Obviously I wasn't well prepared, as I said my optimism normally comes through, so I got bitch smacked by what I expected to happen eventually coming early. And you know, I thought about it, and this is going to sound retarded but That 70s Show helped me with deciding, I'd rather suffer through being just her friend and it ending horribly than not being anything to her anymore. Of course for her to want to associate with me I'd have to go back to being the old, nonchalant, slightly naive me. That's not hard for me to do, I've slowly slid back to being that already. I just need her to come back so that I can hate myself less.