Memories

Even though I'm alone I'm surrounded by friends

Not imaginary no they're not in my head

I may sound insane with my random rants

But boy's got a problem when he pulls down his pants

To show another pair like I did in school

Kindergarten swag, I thought it made me cool

Pulled down my pants in the cubby room

Teacher called me over and said I showed a moon

I was like no, I'm showing them my pants fool

Got on two pairs, ain't it pretty cool

Had to sit by myself for a full week

Thought it made me cooler, man that was sweet

Jump ahead few years to the second grade summer

One happy day my daddy keeled over

Has kidney failure the doctor said

But I'd already started telling people that he's dead

He kept having problems when he tried to sue

Doctor's magic pills didn't do what they do

They broke his organ, thought that meant piano

But when they said kidney, what the fuck is that though

Anyways lawyer ignored the request

Left the suit hanging so we were distressed

No lucky chunks of money for the bills

Really seemed like our fate was sealed

Five years later he's in a wheel chair

Thought he'd come far, thought it's pretty fair

For the past few years he'd been in and out

Medical bills everywhere, damn it made me shout

I was at a new school where I looked like a fool

People thought me British cause of my wacky do

My face constant blush cause of the fat

Man I really don't want to go back to that

The annoying new kid that only so many could stand

I didn't fit in and got scared of the chents

Came from private school where everyone was white

There were a few negroes but imagine my fright

Seeing more color than I had in my life

Skip ahead a few years to where I am now

Life's in my room, I never go out

Just on the computer 24/7

But hey, I still have my friends

In this digital age who needs real life

Talkin online is where it's at right?

Of course on occasion I chill offline

With the load that I carry I've turned out fine

My minds falling off but stays hanging there

In fifty years I hope to be here

Living, loving, losing, fighting

Never giving up on those that did me

I'd just like to say all life events depicted are accurate. Including the British thing. When my bestfriend first saw me he thought I was a gay Brit because I looked like an obese Harry Potter. This one I actually like because it seems like a legit rap. Not some string of rhymes that I put together. Of course the other ones are intended to be taken as raps, but despite the correct emotional influence, it lacks a lot of artistry. I find myself easing back to how I was around January and February. Slightly depressed but not totally miserable. Also listening to the same type of music as I did then. That is a bunch of rappers that aren't mainstream but have a nice Youtube following. G Eazy, Logic, Yonas, Hoodie Allen. I'd add in Jake Miller but I don't like him that much, he seems to swaggoty and like a wannabe Justin Bieber. I also felt more artistically inclined then. I'd draw a lot and write a lot. As you can see, I also managed to go without mentioning her in this rap. Of course I could've, in the last verse along with a bit of the first. I met her in seventh and have known her for over three years, but her being away gives me relief. The one thing I was so scared of happening happened. Of course if she decides to give things another chance I will highly embrace it...after it's given some time. As mentioned in the other thing I posted, she hurt me. I'm never going to give up on things with her, but I'm going to be reluctant to do anything with her. Like literally I'd be a reflection of myself around her. Normally social, loud, everything that teacher's hate and love, becomes a meek shadow that just sits there absorbed in his thoughts rather than what's happening around him. But of course, things change, and I can't predict the future. I hope the future's pretty, I like pretty things. And also, I have lots of other funny memories that I could've listed. Some really old, some more recent as in 2 or 3 years old. But that's getting saved for a later time.