Just A Day

I wish I could go a day just going on my way
Not stopping for pausing or to contemplate
Just a day that's forward with no looking back
Just a day that's been free of my chronic whacks

A day that's about me and not what I feel
Where I'm not stuck in pain and nothing's for real
I yearn for a day without a thought across my mind
Where I just spend the day abusing my time
No time to think, just time to act
Just a day where I feel like the old me is back
But that day's far away cause the way that I am
Can't move past the thoughts but I do what I can
I still try to smile when I'd rather sigh
Keep a knife from my wrists when I want to die
To live a happy life just for a day
But maybe that's not meant for me

Just a day where I look at all the pretty faces
Not a day where I only picture the nicest
A day with a real smile not just a show
My old personality is starting to grow
But it gets trampled by the hurt deep inside
The scars that should heal just fester and cry
If I move past it for just one day
Maybe I'd be back on my way
But it's bi-polar season and a change every hour
Every now and then I'm a new kind of sour
Why you think that I want a whole day
Because all these mood swings are too much for me


So as always I just have a spontaneous burst of thoughts that tie together in lyricism that may only make sense to me. Seeing as it can't stay focused on one subject, it may be hard to follow. I always thought of a song as being a short story, and honestly they normally are. Of course there's the crap that passes for music now, but that's not the only music that exists now is it? And really though, I just want one day. Just one day that goes perfectly. I manage to go without jacking off, without ending up checking a list of crap I keep in my head every hour or so, a day that I manage to stay happy the whole day and don't mope once. A day where I don't feel like the obsessed little shit that any daily reader knows I am. Of course I can't spend the whole day around a bunch of people. School will be a nice relief because I'll be busy all day, including after school because school just started. New people to meet too, means hopefully another pretty face to grab my attention. And when I say pretty I don't mean that she's exactly pretty. The pretty girls do distract me well, but I can always stumble on a girl with an orgasmic personality, I have before.